to tell or not to tell

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2003
to tell or not to tell
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 9:22am

this question really is for any women who have had an abortion.

did you or not - tell your dd when she got to be of age, sexually active or before??

I am debating with myself to tell her or not. I had one when i was 17 1/2... my dd just turned 16 - but is doing more than i did.. at this present moment.

I just found out she is having oral sex... and i am trying to decide to give her BC or not.. and whether this info she be told to her it really will not relate to her - since it is not her....

Edited 9/4/2010 9:24 am ET by montana78
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 4:53pm

If I had a 16 year old daughter, I would absolutely put her on birth control and I would talk to her often about the importance of using it. I would tell her how hard it was for me to be pregnant at 21, having not finished college yet and it would be infinitely harder being a teenager in high school.

But do I think it's necessary that you tell her about your abortion? Not necessarily. I think if she asked you about your sexual history or how many times you've been pregnant or so on, I wouldn't lie to her. But you can say "I don't want to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 7:38am

Just jumping in with my two cents...I only have a son, but have not told him as the question never really came up, wrt my past choices...

Now, since i am widowed and am involved with a man who has a 16 y.o., I'd discuss my abortion with her if it was relevant and was ok with him.

In my opinion, it's of paramount importance to sit down with

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 11:03am
Have you decided to tell her? I think I would wait until it seemed important to tell her. You could certainly bring abortion up without mentioning that you had one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:32am

I had an abortion when I was 17 (just graduated HS) pregnant with my long time bf.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2010
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 5:53pm
I don't think I would tell. I don't think any child of mine has a right to know about all of my medical history. Unless its something like an inherited disease, family history of cancer, etcetera.