Using my mom voice here

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Using my mom voice here
24
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 8:52am

All right ladies I'm busting out my mom voice now so you have to read the rest of this post picturing me wagging my finger with the other hand on my hip. OK?

I have noticed a few things going on here lately that I have to say I am not crazy about. I am worried that if we don't get it under control on our own we are going to have some problems with post being removed/threads being closed. This is NOT directed at specific people but the board as a whole as I think we are all guilty of some of it from time to time.

1) Debate the issue not the person.
Sounds simple enough I know but sometimes the 2 can get so intertwined that it is hard to separate them. This includes not telling the person what they think feel. If you want clarification ASK.
ex. Oh so that means you think all disabled people should be murdered
Far different from
Does that mean you are for forced euthanasia of all disabled people?
One feels far more like a personal attack when you are reading it than the other does. Asking for clarification takes no more time to type than a flat out accusation.

2) be wary about opening yourself up for a debate.
This is a debate board. Anything you post in the debate section is fair game. It is best to debate situations as an abstract idea unless you have a REALLY thick skin. Just because it happened to you or you did it does not mean that people will feel it is ok.
ex. If you post that you had an abortion due to being raped you can not expect everyone to say "I understand you made the right choice" in fact you need to be prepared for people to possibly say the exact opposite

3) Third party insults are a violation of TOS. So person A post, Person B responds to A. Person C responds to B insulting A but omitting a name. STILL a violation. I have noticed a bit of this going on and really it is not necessary. Think about it, this is just like that girl in Jr high who talks loudly to her friends about the fat girl knowing the fat girl will hear her.

4) it is ok to NOT respond. You can put posters who rub you the wrong way on ignore. what you can not do is respond saying "I'm not talking to you" that defeats the purpose of ignoring the person.

Can you all just post and let me know you read this.

Again NOT directed at any one (or 2 or 3) people just a general reminder.












Photobucket

I love my computer

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 9:47am

Heard, Mom, and understood.

*************************************************

"You're cute. I like you."

"What you se

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 10:15am

I am not asking that you be held hostage to anything. If Anyone is posting things against TOS including me I am asking that everyone reports the violation and then completely ignores the post. If unacceptable behavior is not acknowledged it generally is not continued. People want their points to be acknowledged and replied to (well at least I do) and if the only way to get that is by acting in the appropriate fashion they will do so (or be banned for having to many TOS violations)

We teach others how to treat us. Remember back in the day when our parents told us to be the bigger person and walk away? Well debate boards can be a great place to practice that. I know there are a lot of times that I want to say far more than I actually do but no anonymous person on the other end of a computer connection is worth my possibly loosing my posting privileges for.












Photobucket

I love my computer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 10:35am

I know you aren't asking that and I wasn't talking about me personally, but the board at large.


"If unacceptable behavior is not acknowledged it generally is not continued. "


I hope to actually see that happen some day.


I'm not arguing with you Misa, I get what you're saying and will absolutely comply.

*************************************************

"You're cute. I like you."

"What you se

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 11:17am




Powered by CGISpy.com


Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 1:51pm
Read and understood - Mom!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 2:07pm

I read it and I think those are excellent suggestions. There were sometimes where I would get so frustrated with what someone believe was 'okay' that I would just reply. Ok, I understand. And leave it at that.

I don't know why you posted this b/c I've been away from the board and not following many discussions. Lots and lots of studying and little breaks for running :) Anyway, You're doing such a good job as CL. I'll try to catch up on the threads soon.

Note: Colleen's new siggy is superhot!

Photobucket 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 3:11pm
Okay :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 3:43pm

But, Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! (said in my most whiney voice) *giggle* I gotz it, and I understandz it. I can haz cheezburger now?

Photobucket


Powered by Lorf!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 4:30pm

(Icon is the closest to 'sorry' I could get)

Yes ma'am. My apologies. I'm half expecting a TOS violation for a post I made yesterday, although I hope that you will understand what drove me to it. Anyhoo, I am going to be a good girl and play nicely, or refuse to play at all.

I am duly chastised.

PS. If I'm really good, will you get the handcuffs out? ;o)




Edited 4/19/2008 4:32 pm ET by lianne_67
baby siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 9:25pm
Aw thx. youget 10 points for randomly complimenting me.











Photobucket

I love my computer

Pages