What about emotional repercussions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
What about emotional repercussions?
315
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 2:29pm

I haven't really read many of the threads on this board because they're so long so this topic may have already been discussed in length but...


What about the psychological effects that abortion has on the mother? I've known both rape victims and people who have just terminated their pregnancy for other reasons...and have experienced the deep regret and sorrow that these women experience as a result of abortion. Another eyeopener was reading testimonies of women on an HG (hypermesis: extreme m/s) board who had abortions to relieve their symptoms. Many of these mothers were devestated by the loss of their child. Granted this is a group of women who have wanted pregnancies but in a way this kind of applies to women who terminate wanted pregnancies because of mostly the POSSIBILITY of a birth defect (testing is definitely not a 100% sure thing). I just always find it funny that PLers are often accused of not thinking about the woman...when really I think abortion has the potential to be worse than death for the mother.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:00pm
In short, you described abortion as birth control.

 "Pascal's Wager," which states that believing in God costs you nothing if you're wrong, and wins you everything if you're right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:27pm

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You insist that any woman able to make the very unpopular statement that she would go back and abort if she could to be insane and incapable of emotion. How is that not trying to shove such women as myself into your little box?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:33pm

From my original post to which you replied: <>

you say <>

Where have you seen that? Contraception is technically "pregnancy-control" "Birth Control" would really be abortion, LOL.

And while we are on the subject, I've come to a realization and would like to clarify my position on something.

When you ask how can we reduce abortions, and isn't that the goal. Id' have to say- it's NOT my goal. It would be a side effect of my goal if it were realized though.

I'd like to reduce unplanned/unwanted/unintended pregnancies. But if the woman isn't going to cooperate, I'd probably favor MORE abortions at this point- for those who really aren't in the position to have children and raise them well.

As it pertains to me personally? I have taken what I consider to be quite reasonable steps to prevent any future pregnancy: tubal ligation by severing and cauterizing the Fallopian tubes. I am comfortable with the small risk and fully accept the slight chance I will need an abortion. IS it birth control? Technically- yes. It's my Hail Mary backup plan. Because I sure as heck am NOT becoming abstinent, celibate or avoiding any sexual practices I so desire at this point.




Edited 1/15/2008 12:37 pm ET by erosia_raunch
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:48pm
Why did you not consider adoption if you didn't want to abort and yet didn't want to be a mother?

 "Pascal's Wager," which states that believing in God costs you nothing if you're wrong, and wins you everything if you're right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:56pm

I was put under enormous family pressure to keep and raise him, and I succumbed.


As for going back and being able to pursue a different career path - I was a serious competitor at the time and had genuine and viable Olympic ambitions. That all went down the drain. And I will go to my grave with regret.


Pregnancy sort of interferes with jumping 6' courses. Having an infant makes it nearly impossible to travel the circuit, unless you have staff. You lose your rides, your sponsors...the only international caliber women I know who have children had them long after their careers and gold medals were firmly in place.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 1:12pm

I am sorry for your loss and your sacrifice.

 "Pascal's Wager," which states that believing in God costs you nothing if you're wrong, and wins you everything if you're right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 1:27pm

" However, even the thought/statement from her mouth as she held him is proof of her mental illness.

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"You're cute. I like you."

"What you se

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 1:58pm

<<< It may not sound like much, but maybe one day he will do something to make you feel that it was all worth it>>>


You seem to think I'm not proud of him. I am. He's turned out to be a fine young man.


I think what's at issue is "regret". I think anyone who says they've lived a life without regret is a liar. You appear to believe that MY regret is such a huge issue that it just couldn't be so if you keep trying to deny and question my feelings on it.


WRT my family - they were very supportive. But the reality is, there just was no way to continue my chosen path in sport.


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Adoption may be YOUR better answer, but not for me and my circumstances.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 2:21pm

Just chiming in here. I think we can regret things but still love the outcome.

Ex when I graduated I got accepted to McGill and Dalhousie University. I opted to Go to Memorial instead because of financial issues. I regret that decision even though had I gone to McGill or Dal I would have never met my husband or had my boys. I still long for the life I had planned for myself.

Another EX. I always wanted to open my home to babies born of drug addicted mothers and born HIV positive. DH wanted nothing to do with that. I had to choose him or the babies. I choose him but there are times I regret it. Not because I don't love him but because I feel I am being held back from what my life's work was supposed to be.

It is easy to say things we can not wrap our heads around are crazy but that is not always true.

I can not fathom not wanting many many children
I can not fathom liking bush
I can not fathom attachment parenting as a way of life

Now if I am going to be honest *and well you all know I am* when I hear people talking about how they are CFBC, think Bush is the greatest man alive, or do not believe in diapers for babies (ok so that is extreme but some Ap's believe you should watch for babies cues and hold them over the toilet) a part of me that is controlled by knee jerk reaction sounds the crazy alarm. It is so far removed from my most basic instincts that it takes me a while to be able to fathom it. I have to literally force my brain to override my emotions and look at it without my preconceived notions clouding my judgment. I think we are all like this about some situations whether we admit it to ourselves or not, but we should all be careful not to judge too hastily as at some point we are going to do/say something that goes against what another person always believed to be "the way it is" and we are going to want some consideration and not to be written off as crazy









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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 2:51pm

I love you. I really, truly love you.


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That pretty much sums it up for me.


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