What do you say when

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
What do you say when
155
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 2:59pm

a GUY keeps using the "Don't have sex if you're not going to be willing to go full term with a pregnancy from it " argument. I am ready to jump through the screen and strangle this guy because no matter what I say he says this back (this is from my local community forum message boards).


I thought I would come to the experts.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 3:42pm

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• First I'd tell him that my sexual activity and body are MY business, none of his.

• Second, I'd tell him that when he grows a uterus he can be the sole arbiter of ITS contents and health.

• Third, I'd tell him I have no intention of being celibate and that short of a hysterectomy, no birth control, including sterilization, is 100% efficacious. Therefore, I'll choose the best methods for me according my OWN criteria and that abortion might be one option on that list.

• And fourth, I'd thank him for making his stance on choice so blatant so that I could make sure I never found myself in lust wit him ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 4:12pm

Well honestly I have never heard a man say that but I would probably reply with "well the same goes for you. Don't be having sex if you are not willing to miss work every time the child is sick, give up corporate trips for lack of child care, wake up 6 times a night for a year, make sure you save enough money for university, and give up dating for a few years. Oh yes and lets not forget you must also pay for every medical expense for the next 18 years."










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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 4:17pm

having/enjoying sex doesn't mean you want to become pregnant


anymore then building a fire in your fireplace means you want to burn down your house.


Sometimes accidents happen even with reasonable precautions taken, but that doesn't mean if your house burns down accidentally that you should be charged with arson and put in jail...or that if you become pregnant you should be forced to continue the pregnancy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 1:16am

Those are the types that:

A: you don't have sex with and

B: you handle with with a shovel in your hand LOL (I just hate jerks like that, it's like the smart mouths that tell me that I as professional driver don't know how to drive a SUV~~my dh just looked as this jerk, and smiled at him and told him heres your head: When I asked him what type of drivers license did HE have? and then I had the explain to him what the different types of licenses were and what you did with them,and what I had~~he very quickly changed his mind and then said "oh you could drive a SUV" and I told him no that not only I could but every women that I worked with,and we could drive one better the HE DID"

~Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 2:29am
MY bf's one friend is like this. When ever we get into an abortion debate its always "it should have been prevented". They don't have a solution to the problem, thats why he says "don't do it in the first place". I've tried to get him to say how he would handle the unwanted pregnancy problem if he were president and he made abortion illegal. He just keeps saying "don't do it in the first place". I really haven't heard any anit-abortion person come up with a good strategy for reducing pregnancies and helping out women who have unwanted pregnancies. He is against welfare, go figure, but wants a million more babies in the US every year from ending abortion. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 10:07am

Of course it's never part of the MAN's responsibility to help prevent that unwanted pregnancy. He can (and FREQUENTLY does) just walk away, it's that easy for him.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 7:54am
He also says he would take care of any child he had as a mistake. but he wants a woman to do his laundry and cooking....So if he can't take care of himself, how can he take care of a child...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 10:15am

lol, that is funny.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 2:01pm
Does that mean he would be willing to be a single dad, if the mom didn't want the child?

"It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 7:45am
Yes he would be willing to be a single dad and no he would not view the child as a mistake, but the pregnancy as the mistake.

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