What do you say when

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
What do you say when
155
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 2:59pm

a GUY keeps using the "Don't have sex if you're not going to be willing to go full term with a pregnancy from it " argument. I am ready to jump through the screen and strangle this guy because no matter what I say he says this back (this is from my local community forum message boards).


I thought I would come to the experts.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 12:41am
I am anti-abortion myself and the strategy for decreasing unwanted pregnancy is teaching abstinence and respect for your body.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 1:08am
"having/enjoying sex doesn't mean you want to become pregnant"
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 5:58am

"I am anti-abortion myself"


That's wonderful! Since you don't like abortion, you don't have to have one!


"and the strategy for decreasing unwanted pregnancy is teaching abstinence and respect for your body"


The strategy for decreasing unwanted pregnancy is the teaching of accurate sex education, including abstinence as an option, as well as easy access to various forms of contraception.


"If an unplanned pregnancy occurs then maybe that women should think about the baby she created during her night of fun and place that child for adoption"


You know... I often wonder why it is that the woman is always vilified as the only one who "wasn't thinking" and should be expected to shoulder the entire physical responsibility of having her body used as life-support... Subjecting her to all the inherent risks- both short and long term- of gestation and childbirth.


"In the case of rape, I have been raped and if I would have become pregnant I would have carried that child to term knowing that he/she did nothing wrong"


That's wonderful. If you would choose to carry the progeney of a rapist, that's entirely on you... It is your decision to make. However, I wouldn't dare suggest to any other woman who happens to become pregnant from a rape that they should be willing to do the same. If that's the decision they want to make, than, I fully support them. However, if they choose to terminate the pregnancy, I will fully support them in that choice as well.


"You can't imagine the number of married couples out there that just want a chance to raise a child but can't have a biological child."


It is not anyone else's responsibility to serve as a brood-mare to crank out children to fulfill the selfish desires of some couple somewhere longing to have a baby. If a couple is unable to have a child of their own, and all they want is to be able to raise a child, then, there's a good many children awaiting permanent homes and families. Maybe some of these people should stop being so selfish, and stop waiting for that perfect, healthy little white baby.


"Is it too much to ask for someone to carry a living human


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 6:35am

""having/enjoying sex doesn't mean you want to become pregnant"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 7:26am

"Why not make ADOPTION the choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 7:33am

"Maybe some of these people should stop being so selfish, and stop waiting for that perfect, healthy little white baby."


Exactly! They watch kids waste away in foster care because they have the wrong hair color but they would make such good parents of a blonde hair, blue eyed child!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 7:56am

"Exactly! They watch kids waste away in foster care because they have the wrong hair color but they would make such good parents of a blonde hair, blue eyed child!"


Yeap... Also, why is it sooooooo important to these people to get an infant? I mean, if they really just want a child to care for, because they have so much love to give... WHY can't they give that love to a 10-year-old child who desperately wants someone to call "Mom and Dad"?


I mean, I know this is going to sound awful to some people, but... Go with me on this... It REALLY reminds me of people who will rush out and buy a puppy from one of those awful Puppy Mill places, because "Puppies are cute", instead of just going to a shelter and adopting an older dog. KWIM? It's like everyone loves a baby... But, those dang, pesky 6-year-olds who come from bad/broken homes and were put in foster care are just too messed up to deal with. Y'know?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 8:31am
I totally agree. If someone is desperate for a child, you would think they would jump at the chance of having any child. Unconditional love should be a requirement of any parent and that means loving your child no matter their age, hair color, or background.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 8:58am

Okay, good. I'm glad you understood me! LOL!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 9:45am

<the strategy for decreasing unwanted pregnancy is teaching abstinence and respect for your body>


Teaching abstinence and self-respect is PART of a good strategy, but far from being the whole thing. In order to prevent against unwanted pregnancy, you must know how to say no AND how to have safe sex when you eventually say yes.


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