What?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
What?!
275
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:44pm

Abortion is ok??!! I cant even believe this! Horrible! Yes I am a teen momma because I didnt have an abortion omg imagine if i would of had one, my baby wouldnt be here and I would b a mess. I AM PRO-LIFE:) Be responsible and step up. You had sex, got pregnant, now your a mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 11:50pm
So you are telling me this story because
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 11:52pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 12:51am

~So you are telling me this story because

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 1:21am
Out of curiosity, do you think abortion should

Lindsay

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 2:19am

I used to think that abortion was morally wrong and that I would never have one, and like you I thought that people should not have sex unless they are willing to go through with a pregnancy.

What changed things for me was when I had my daughter. I was 21 and it was an unplanned pregnancy, but I was married an my (now ex) husband wanted to have the baby and wouldn't even consider adoption. I was seeing a doctor for mental illness at the time and she made it extremely clear that she did not recommend my getting pregnant or having a baby at that time. I didn't think she knew what she was talking about and I did it anyway.

After I gave birth I suffered from post partum psychosis. You might remember Andrea Yates, the mother who drowned her five children? That's what she had. The psychosis lasted for about a year, and the pre-existing mental illness got much much worse. Eventually I wasn't able to work anymore. I couldn't take care of my child and she had to go live with my parents for months at a time. I was in and out of the hospital and several times considered killing myself and taking my dd with me. I tried all kinds of medications and therapy and none of them worked. After several years I found a medication that did work and I started to recover. But I realized that if I got pregnant again I would not be able to take the medication I needed to function, as it had not been found to be safe for use with pregnancy. I couldn't work to support myself financially, to support my daughter. I couldn't even take care of my daughter without medication. I asked about getting my tubes tied and was told I was too young and only had one child so they wouldn't do it. I was utterly terrified of getting pregnant until I made peace with the fact that an abortion would just be necessary if I did, and that an unplanned pregnancy need not destroy what I have worked hard to overcome. When I got older I got my tubes tied, but even with that there's still a chance. It's a chance I just have to live with.

And I realized that there are many situations that are not cut and dried. They are not simple. It's not a matter of just sucking it up, or living with a little inconvenience. And there are situations where a pregnancy would put someone in danger even if it doesn't threaten their life in any way. And nobody really knows what anyone else has the capacity to handle, so why should anyone else get to make that choice for them? I would never want someone else to be able to decide for me whether or not I really needed to have an abortion. So that's why I'm pro-choice.

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My Kiddo :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 10:52am

So you are saying if I would of told you that I was pregnant at 15 you would of encouraged me to have an abortion?? Well let me tell you that I did the right thing by not having one.....I am now 17 and have my own place with my SO/FOB I had to grow up and accept my responsibility.....I love how people use my age as an example.


I am going to sound like a complete witch and WILL get flamed for it. But that is OK. I feel the way I do because I have experience in these matters. There are exceptions to the rule, but very rare indeed.


I don't think a 15 year old should keep a baby to raise. They are a child themselves. To me, they are unfit to raise a child. No, an abortion shouldn't be mandatory, nor should giving up the child for adoption, but IMO, a child deserves a woman as a mother, not a child.


Life experience shows me that while the mother wants to do well and loves their baby as much as any other mother, they do not have the life experience, skill sets, maturity or foundation to be successful 98% of the time.


To me, a more loving choice and acceptance of responsibility would be to choose your child to be with an established family, not an underage mother.


That would be stepping up to the plate IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 12:31pm

I'll tell my story, since you're new here and haven't heard it before (those of you who have, go ahead and skip.)


I was pro-life pretty much through my youth. My Catholic upbringing started it, and I felt that abortion was not the right option (except for rape/incest, and impending death of mother.)


Then I got the call from my doctor so many dread. "You know those tests we ran on your breast? Well, we think you should see a surgeon." They didn't think it was cancer, but... At about the same time, my period stopped for a few months. As I sat there, waiting for my pregnancy test results, I knew I'd abort rather than wait for the surgery (back then they would not have performed a surgical biopsy on a pregnant woman. Today they would.) Then and there I became pro-choice, because even though my life was in all likelihood not at risk, I could not imagine waiting 9 months to find out for certain.


I was lucky. I was not pregnant, and I didn't have breast cancer. But I stayed pro-choice. Every woman has the right to make her own medical decisions. No law should make it impossible to receive needed medical treatment. An abortion is needed medical care in many cases.


Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 2:01pm

Been a long time since i posted on these boards because it is both sides saying the same things over and over, but even i was surprised by this one.


If you know your going to get flamed for it, then you must know its offensive to lots of people.


Age is not an absolute. I have know completely horrible mothers at 35, and incredibly wonderful ones at 16. To say that in 98% of cases that's true, someone would really have to show me some facts, not just throw around percentages based on..what exactly? Stereotype?


Who judges when someone becomes a "woman" and is responsible enough to have a child? Is 18 some magic number where everyone suddenly grows up and is mature?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 3:13pm

Hmmm...I do agree with you that I've seen lousy parents of every age, and that 18 isn't some magical age, however there are a lot of things that an 18 year old mother has going in her favor which will give her the potential to be a decent parent, as opposed to a 15 year old.

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
In reply to: mommy_nycha
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 3:34pm

But we're not talking about what they have going for them or against them, only the general blanket statement that they are unfit. Whether they can drive or not has nothing to do with what type of parent they are.


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