why does rape+pregnancy=abortion?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
why does rape+pregnancy=abortion?
13
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 9:29am
why do most people think that if someone is raped that they have to have an abortion if they become pregnant?

for a woman who has been raped a resulting child could be a source of comfort (the only good thing to come out of a terrible incident) or the complete opposite and so the choice should lie with the victim as to whether she should carry to term or not. why do we (PL and PC, or even society as a whole) seem to insist that if a woman becomes pregnant as a result of rape she must want an abortion, i can see the logic behind why she wouldn't want the child but there is also logic in the argument that she might want to carry the child to term and then either keep him/her or put him/her up for adoption.

opinions please?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 9:45am
i don't think that society believes that its neccisary for a rape victim to have an abortion. i do think that a majority of people out there think that carrying a baby from rape would be very hard on the victim, therefore they are more understanding of the decision to have an abortion. now, if the rape was also incestual (sp?) it gets even more complicated. because incest can cause such big problems with child bearing (ie deformities, health problems, even mental disease) now you're not only asking the victim to carry around a reminder of the rape, but to have to possibly give up her whole life to care for a child that can not ever care for itself. women who have children with special needs love their children dearly, but i think that they will be ther first to say how incredibly hard it is to care for them. they wouldn't give it up for the world, but it doesn't make it easier. it would be like being punished for the rest of your life. still i stand by my comment on the fact that people don't think that abortion has to be after a rape, just that its more readily justified and less contriversal than your typical reasons for an abortion (ie i wasn't ready, i never wanted kids etc....). angel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 10:58am
I highly doubt that child would be a source of "comfort," but instead it is much more likely to be a constant reminder of the rape for the rest of her life. Since I am PL, I believe that if the woman feels she cannot handle parenting a child that results from a rape, she should place it for adoption. I don't think the fetus should have to suffer the punishment of death for the crime committed by another person.

As a qualifier, yes I DO know what it is like to be raped.

-Deb

 

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 11:22am
by comfort, i meant that she could know that at least comething good would come out of the rape and perhaps that would give her hope to carry on.

i wasn't saying that someone who was raped should carry the child no matter what just in case that is what anyone thought i was saying. just asking why no-one 'seemed' to think of carrying the child as an option. (i put seemed in inverted commas because no-one mentions it as a option on the board)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 11:58am
I don't beleive that it is a foregone conclusion that someone that is raped will abort a pregnancy resulting from that rape, I just think it's more justifiable than some of the other reasons people may have.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 12:52pm
I do not beleive that rape resulting in pregnancy should end neccessarily in abortion. I beleive that a woman who is raped and ends up pregnant as a result deserves and ahs a right to choosing to abort that fetus.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 10:37am
Well... I DO think that a pregnancy that is the result of a rape should be carried to term. I don't think it is fair for the fetus to suffer death because of the mistakes someone else made. I just wanted to point out that I can't fathom anything at all about the child being a "comfort," whether the mother keeps it or puts it up for adoption. It's an awful, awful circumstance, but I just don't think killing the fetus is the answer.

Basically, I agree that rape + pregnancy shouldn't equal aboriton, but I don't think the child would be any sort of "comfort" for most women.

-Deb

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 2:16pm
But why should the woman be punished by being forced to carry a child? In a perfect world, I'm sure rape victims would think the exact same way and say why should the child cease to exist because I was raped. But this is real life and pregnancy causes permanent change in the average woman's body, not to mention the reactions she'd have to face. I don't think many people feel empathy for rape victims, as mentioned in another post you have those thinking "what did she do to let that happen, how was she acting, what was she wearing, why was she alone" and it turns into her fault. Its not just the child that is a reminder because of course it can be given up for adoption, but the actual pregnancy is just as strong of a reminder. It would kill me every single minute of that pregnancy to know that this is what happens to ME because some poor excuse for a man forced himself on me. I think if a woman is strong enough to handle that kind of thing, then I'd give her plenty of credit for carrying it to term and maybe even raising it. But not everyone can handle that physically or mentally and I think its more unfair to force a woman to do that rather than aborting a fetus who probably isn't even aware of its existance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 3:05pm
First, those who ask or think what did she do to cause someone to rape her needs some serious counseling. No woman asks to be raped.

As far as aborting a fetus because of rape, it's so murky for me. No I don't think the child should be killed because it's father was a @#$%^&(^*^$%*^#@&*%$#(&^%. On the same side I do have compassion for the woman. But is abortion really going to wipe away what happened to her? And her decision to abort is made while she is still reeling from the trauma. The woman has been permanently changed already. Rape is a life-altering event.

I could see keeping abortions legal for rape victims, but it's with a lot of mixed feelings.

Kim 

Mom to Brad, Ma

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 6:05pm
"First, those who ask or think what did she do to cause someone to rape her needs some serious counseling. No woman asks to be raped."

I'm in total agreement here, but you can't deny that this kind of thinking occurs.


"But is abortion really going to wipe away what happened to her? And her decision to abort is made while she is still reeling from the trauma. The woman has been permanently changed already. Rape is a life-altering event. "

No, an abortion won't clear her memory of the rape, no one said it would. And of course the decision is made quickly after it happens because I'd think she'd want that out of her as fast as possible in order to heal. Rape sure does permanently change a woman, but so does pregnancy, especially a difficult one. I just think it would be terrible for her to endure a second life changing event when she isn't mentally able to handle it just because some people don't want her to abort.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 10:14pm
"But why should the woman be punished by being forced to carry a child?"

Because I believe punishing the unborn child with death is the greater of two evils.

"But this is real life and pregnancy causes permanent change in the average woman's body"

Sure does, like decreased risk of several cancers, including breast and the very deadly ovarian cancer. Oh, you mean it might make you a little chubbier? Well, that doesn't outweigh the importance of not taking the unborn child's life to me.

"I think its more unfair to force a woman to do that rather than aborting a fetus who probably isn't even aware of its existance"

I think BOTH options are unfair to someone. I just think that killing the fetus, regardless of whether it is aware of its existence, is more unfair.

I'm not implying any of this would be a happy, wonderful situation - for the child either. Can you imagine finding out you were the product of a rape??? It's awful on so many levels, I realize that. And I thank all I believe is Holy that I didn't get pregnant as a result of my rape. What a nightmare. I just don't think the unborn child should suffer death because its "father" (sperm donor) is a disgusting pig of a criminal.

-Deb

(edited to correct typo)




Edited 6/24/2003 10:15:29 PM ET by debbielys

 

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