Worth the loving

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Worth the loving
50
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 10:37pm

So many use disease and complications for their reasoning for terminating a pregrancy - but what about the love that they loose out on in that choice?


http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=c975d005cd2c4d261f7f

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 6:33pm

<>

I thought we were discussing terminal cases in which the fetus would either die in utero or shortly after birth and being hooked up to life support?

<< Would you not want, fight for, and support all resources to save your own child?>>

No. When Nicholas was in septic shock and was having epinephrine injected into his heart via a very long needle to jump start his heart, no- we asked them to stop and let him die with dignity and in our arms. Again, I thought we were discussing terminal cases in which the fetus would either die in utero or shortly after birth and being hooked up to life support?

<< I am a huge conservative financially and sociallly - yet, when it comes to life and health - I do want to know that even the poorest, smallest, weakest of us are protected and provided for.>>

And I think it's a parent's choice when we are discussing terminal cases in which the fetus would either die in utero or shortly after birth and being hooked up to life support.

Disabuse me of the notion that we were indeed discussing terminal cases in which the fetus would either die in utero or shortly after birth and being hooked up to life support and we can discuss other cases that are not terminal and likely my thoughts will change :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 7:24pm

Yes, terminal cases is what we were talking about - and somewhat handicapped/not perfect.


I am not saying that extraordinary measures should be taken - but as in the child in the video - there was some life in the boy to be lived.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 7:27pm

I did not know that was your daughter's condition or I would never have used it as an example.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 7:34pm

~I don't see poor children or life in general having a $ value to it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 7:39pm

I don't mind :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 9:11pm

You can claim love is lost, but many of us do not see it that way at all. People point to their spirituality all the time as the motivation for opposing abortion, well... I believe if we don't make it in one way, eventually we will in another.


I'm sorry, but I cannot think of someone who aborts as someone casting away love, turning their backs on another. I have no ability to make such a judgement, and leave it to those involved to make their own call for their own lives.

Sometimes, sometimes I see right through the scenery
The first place that's on my mind the last place I find each time
Sometimes, I swim beyond the scenery
The last place that's on my mind
The first place I find each time ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 9:15pm

>>A problem with medical technology today is that it can go well beyond what most of us would want for ourselves, let to put our children through it all. <<

Yep and if anyone is interested in my honest opinion I think that most times we do so it is out of selfishness not because we feel it is really what is best for our child. Most of us have not thought it through in a calm state of mind because we like to believe it will never happen to us (I will admit to being one of them once upon a time) so we are left making a decision when our emotions are completely out of whack and as a result tend to make it based on how we feel at the moment which is denial in most cases (really very few people immediately believe the doctor when given bad news)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 9:41pm

I guess what I don't understand is your inference that these parents aren't thinking about their decision before they make it in these instances.

When you say, "I just think that the choice, although I believe should be permitted, needs to be weighed out to include even simple and short situations such as these," you imply that the choice is not already weighed out by these parents. Otherwise, why would you feel the need to say this?

As I said before, by the time these kinds of conditions become apparent (via u/s or amnio or whatever), the vast majority of parents had already decided to keep the pregnancy, for whatever reason. As such, the vast majority are not finding this as an easy decision to make and clearly not just using the fetus's condition as an excuse to abort.

Maybe you find it easier to believe that a Trisomy 18 baby has as good a chance to live as little Eliot. But most parents have far less in a guarantee than that when they get a diagnosis like this. I know that DH's aunt, when she got pregnant in 2001, found out that there was something terribly wrong. She had no idea what the extent would be until the baby was born. Her daughter had a hemispherectomy at four months old to try to minimize the 60 seizures she was having every day. At the age of six, she is mentally about an 18-month-old. She can walk and communicate a little bit. She requires around-the-clock care, and likely will for the rest of her life. Believe it or not, it could have been a lot worse. Her life could have been full of horrible suffering, instead of just really really frustrating.




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Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 9:59pm

Kathleen, I agree - that sometimes - more often that we realize, that mercy and love are best shown by letting those we love go - regardless of the pain it may cause us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 10:01pm
I certainly didn't mean to belittle her condition - as I said - Dwight's condition was not to the point of your childs.