your partners opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
your partners opinion
13
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 2:34pm

Dh found me on here this morning and we ended up discussing our views on abortion. Dh is pro choice wich never bothered me because as he thinks it is my choice his views won't affect any pregnancy I have and any decision I make. He knows if he ever tried to coerce me into an abortion I would divorce his sorry butt he has known this from when we first started having sex that if I got PG i WOULD have the baby if at all possible.

However I am wondering how people with the opposite relationship handle it. If the woman is pro choice and the man is pro life. After all as the law stands he gets no say in the matter. Is this something people commonly discuss before having sex or am I an anomaly?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 2:46pm

I am PC and my DF considers himself pro-life, though he says he has no right to tell other people what to do. I guess this technically makes him PC, but I won't burst his little bubble. :-)

We did talk about what we would do early on. Not before we had sex, but very soon after. Anytime one of us feels our views on the situation may waver, we have a conversation about it.

I am currently not on BC and we don't really do much to prevent other than the withdrawal method (lol), so we are both aware that it is very possible that I will get pregnant before we actively start trying. Since we want to start TTC w/in a year anyway, and aren't having a big wedding (just eloping) both of us are quite alright with the possibility that we could get pregnant in the near future.

Both times I was pregnant before, we were using protection--BC pill w/ DD and condoms w/ terminated pregnancy.

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&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:07pm

It's something *I* discussed before having sex. Still, people can change when they are in the situation rather than just thinking about it.

I would not ever BE having sex with someone who was PL in the "make it illegal" way. Not because I ever intend to have one but because an individual *that* incapable of understanding where his (and anyone else's) rights end and where my boundaries begin, is not someone I'm going to date. Ever.

Does a partner get *input* into the pregnancy decision, yes. Final say? Not a freaking chance.

Anyone who ever tries to coerce their partner into EITHER abortion or continuing a pregnancy against their will OUGHT to be thrown out on their sorry butt. They are equally abhorrent scenarios.

T

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:24pm
Ok yes no coercion should ever happen but coercion to carry is not something I personally have to worry about so I left it out of my post



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:35pm
Well, DH and I never really talked about PL or PC per say but we did talk about if we wanted children or not. We both don't want children so we both agree that I would have an abortion if I got pregnant unless I was to far along and in that case I would give the child up for adoption but only if I was to far along for an abortion. We are both PC so it is good for us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:47pm

With my DH, I asked him his views and what he would do if I got pregnant (we weren't married or planning to get married at that point).

Lori
**Navy Wife to Eddie since Dec 2002**

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:56pm

I'm VERY clear with the fact that if I'd get pregnant, I'd abort. No ifs, ands or buts.

That's never been a problem with any men I've been involved with.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:59pm

Every person I've dated has been pro-choice. I do tend to bring it up early in a relationship because it is a very important topic to me.

I do think that differing views would not work for me because I strongly believe that PL views tend to negate physical autonomy and I would have serious problems with a man telling me that he thinks he has a say in my medical choices.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 5:54pm
I would never date a prolifer. I consider reproductive rights to be a fundemental human right...and I wouldn't date someone that did not support basic human rights for all people..including women.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 10:54pm
my 1st DH and I talked about it after the 1st time we had sex..LOL...a little late I know. He told me he'd support whatever decision I made. DF and I
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 12:05am
Ross and I are both PC, but from the start agreed that if we got pregnant before we got married we would keep the baby.
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