Advocating BFing IRL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Advocating BFing IRL
9
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:00pm

How much advocating BFing do you do in real life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:35pm

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Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 2:39pm

How much advocating BFing do you do in real life?

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 5:21pm

I would not talk to a 'perfect stranger' if they were bottle feeding. But if they were NIP, sometimes I might say something if the opportunity arose. Not straight out about BF, but maybe, what a beautiful baby you have, and if the conversation starts, mention something about BF, and how good it is - more in an acknowledging or encouraging way. I do not go out of my way to accost strangers anywhere though.

But a woman was nursing a baby of about 12 months near me on an hours long bus trip, and I spoke to her. I also did it in her case because her race is known to have huge mortality rates for infants and others, with a life expectancy well below the rest of the Australian population.

I now speak out and correct mis-information in general conversation. eg if I hear people say that they would not BF after some arbitrary age or if the baby has teeth, I will say something. I will also talk about how long I BF my children for, so that they see that it is OK to BF for longer than infancy. Whereas previously, I pretty much would have never come out and stated that I BF one of mine for well over two years.

Teresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 7:13pm

I wouldn't do much with a stranger who wasn't interested in bf'ing. I would be willing to do things like talk to groups of people, or help women who want to bf'd so they can make it work, which I imagine includes educating on reasons to and how to keep going. As far as what I've actually done, nothing so far. But I'm on a list for a new bf'ing mentor program for new mothers of preemies, so hopefully I'll be able to start that soon, whenever they have enough volunteers to put the program in place. That'll be a start and I think eventually I want to do more.

I think for your situation all you can do is let her know you are available. It's really up to her to take you up on your offer. I wouldn't hit her with a bunch of information without knowing if she's even at all interested in doing it. It won't be persuasive if she's not open to it, and in the end "information" might not be the most persuasive aspect for her. It seems her issue is with practically making it work, it could be believing in herself, or confidence, or some fear that is holding her back. You can best help her if you understand what is underlying her hesitation.

In the end it really truly is "not your child not your problem" but if that was the end of it for you then the question wouldn't be in your mind. And advocacy IS based on the premise that whatever the issue is, it's an issue for all of us. At the same time, even the best advocacy won't convince all. So I'd say another softball pitch like you served up last time would be good, then see what she does with it.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

John W. Gardner



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 1:04pm

<<Actually, DH will start talking about BFing in casual conversation, too ;)>>


Awesome, mine too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 1:19pm

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That's awesome, Harmony!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 2:05pm
About your previous post - your dh is a good advocate! My dh has done some advocating, but it's mostly along the lines of: "support your wife bf'ing, you'll get more sleep!"

I think if you want to work on your cousin, you'll have to get closer to her. She holds you at arms length, but are there times she lets you in more? If you forget about the breastfeeding for now and just try to build a better relationship with her, is that possible? If you can get closer first then you might be able to bend her ear more, but you need that established closeness first. At least in this situation it sounds like that's part of the barrier to advocating with her. If you get closer but she still ff'd this baby, at least you'd have a closer relationship you can enjoy with her.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

John W. Gardner



Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 4:16pm

Maybe if your husband approached her? Since she seems more comfortable with him?

He could "read up" a bit, so if she had questions he could answer (or offer to research and get back to her) them and offer encouragement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 5:15pm

That's cool Andrea!

 


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