Are they being selfish - should they share instead?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Are they being selfish - should they share instead?
9
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:19am

The author of the article seems to feel it's wrong for this man to do this - because it's a publicity stunt? Or because it should be shared intead? What do you think?

Man Tries to Survive Drinking Only Wife's Breastmilk

...like many of my friends, I'm having a little bit of a hard time dealing with a story I just learned about. Katie is a mom who had preemies (now they are older) -- she's also a doula and childbirth educator and she has a huge stash of frozen milk. And I mean HUGE --

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008

I found it very ironic that these people had tried initially and unsuccessfully to donate the milk, yet many of the writers responded that the milk should have been donated. Ot seems eventually, some of the milk was donated possibly after the publicity this article generated.

Teresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Are we becoming the Breast Milk Police now?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Sorry, using my iphone and only getting half the story.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

I don't think your response was inappropriate - why should we get to tell her and her husband what she does with her breast milk?

If she decided to cook with it instead, would people be as upset? I think it is because she is giving it to her husband that bothers them. And I think it's none of their business what she does with her breast milk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
I agree that she and her Dh should be able to do whatever they wish with her BM, even if that means him drinking it, cooking with it, tossing it down the drain, taking a bath in it, etc.. While I realize that there are many babies that would benefit from her BM if she donated it, it her BM and I don't feel comfortable forcing her to donate or even trying to shame or pressure into donating it. If the issue was organ or blood donation we wouldn't see people trying to pressure or force people to donate against their will. If Jehovahs Witness refused to donate blood for religious reasons we generally would respect that but for some reason people seem more OK with chastising a women with a large EBM stash for not donating it to a needy nursing baby. I don't see how this is that much different then a lactating women who simply lets her supply dry up or decides to toss out her old EBM stash because she no longer needs it.

I suspect for some it was the decision by this women and her DH to publicly discuss on their blog their choice to have him consume the extra EBM that caused some to get upset. I also agree their are likely some who have a problem with ideas of a an adult man drinking her EBM as there are many people grossed out by the idea of older children/adults consuming BM. Even some people find the idea of their infant consuming a bodily fluid of theirs (i.e. EBM) even though logically they should recognize that women's bodies wouldn't produce milk that babies could survive on if there was something wrong the idea of a baby suckling on mom's breast.

In this case, while I glad that she is donating the milk to a needy baby, I would have fully support her right to decide to have her husband consume it or whatever else she decided to do with it, even if I don't agree it was best use of the extra EBM.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008

It is interesting to note the follow-up is that now, there are people willing to take the milk. Perhaps the publicity generated about the husband drinking it actually gave the people with the multiple babies the information that here were people who had milk and would have donated it, but it was unacceptable to the milk bank. (Some of it had meds). Ultimately, they are probably glad someone else wants it too, as it did not seem like anyone would at first.

Better that someone drinks it rather than throw it downt he sink.

Teresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
I am actually quite interested in learning how he fares in this experiment.




 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
I agree that it's better the someone drinks it then it's simply tossed down the drain. I also agree that a needy baby getting it is better then a healthy properly nourished adult drinking it though I think it still going to be put to better use for an adult to drink then for it to simply be thrown down the drain. I'm pretty sure an adult can get some nutritional value from it and I imagine it would be nutritionally superior to cows milk which many adults drink. After all, it is designed for humans to consume unlike cow's milk which was originally intended for calves. Most humans may be able to tolerate and even get nutritional benefits from milk even though it was not originally meant for our consumption but that does not mean it's the best milk for humans to be drinking. That being said, I do think that do to the scarcity of BM, it should go to needy babies whose parents are willing to take it.

Photobucket

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

I think the one thing that many people have overlooked is that it was premie milk, over 6 months (or maybe even a year) old, and she had been taking meds while pumping that milk. So too risky for a premie, kind of old even for a full term baby.

This is why she was turned down for donating in the first place. And when she tried to donate privately, they wanted her to pay the shipping cost - which could get very expensive. Totally unfair, in my opinion, to ask for someone's hard-earned breast milk for FREE, and then expect them to PAY the costs to ship it to you too.

Considering that milk banks charge something like $3.00 AN OUNCE - I wouldn't feel much like donating my milk after expectations like that!