Is the BF vs. FF debate unique in how it's treated compare to other parenting debates?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Is the BF vs. FF debate unique in how it's treated compare to other parenting debates?
29
Thu, 02-03-2011 - 1:53pm

I had this thought recently that it seems to me that this debate is quit different in how it's treated on the internet compared with other parenting debates. I've noticed that the rules of political correctness when it comes to this debate are different then for other debates such as co-sleeping vs crib sleeping, CIO vs non-CIO sleep training methods, circumcision vs non-circ, disposables vs cloth, spanking vs non-violent discipline, etc. There seems to be a greater insistence that BF advocates accept any reason for formula feeding as just a valid or good and never disagree with any reason to FF even one's we feel are based on myths or selfishness. There also seems to be the idea that you cannot come out and suggest that the risk of formula are significant or anything else that might end up leading a FF'r to feel guilty. When it comes to babies in general, you should not care about the health of babies overall, even if you don't care about how any specific individual baby is fed. Thus the statements you see so often such as "Why is it anyone one else business how others choose to feed their babies?".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
charleen2008 wrote:

I had this thought recently that it seems to me that this debate is quit different in how it's treated on the internet compared with other parenting debates. I've noticed that the rules of political correctness when it comes to this debate are different then for other debates such as co-sleeping vs crib sleeping, CIO vs non-CIO sleep training methods, circumcision vs non-circ, disposables vs cloth, spanking vs non-violent discipline, etc.

Initial thoughts (I'm at work and don't have much time):

Those debates are, for the most part,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

It's, for the most part, one side saying how much better breastfeeding is vs. the other side agreeing that breastfeeding is better than FFing and trying to do it but failing,

I think that's funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
nisupulla wrote:

It's, for the most part, one side saying how much better breastfeeding is vs. the other side agreeing that breastfeeding is better than FFing and trying to do it but failing,

I think that's funny.

Funny because I'm so wrong about who's debating BF/FF on the internet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

Funny because I'm so wrong about who's debating BF/FF on the internet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010

Ok, then I don't get what you're saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010

I think it's one of those topics that stirs passion, because it's such an intimate thing involving the woman's body. It hits a nerve with more people than other subjects. But when you go to other debate boards there are just as many passionate people about CIO, VAX, Childbirth choices, etc...for a lot of the same reasons. Innately our bodies are telling us to do one thing (breastfeed, hold our kids when they cry, give birth naturally, etc) and when we choose to go against "nature," it can cause defensiveness. That's a huge generalization, I know, but I don't know how to explain it any better.

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
I think any parenting choice can bring about "guilt" whether it be CIO, sleeping arrangements, vaccines, circumcision, discipline styles, parenting styles because everybody is trying to do it "right," figure out what is "right" and they all believe that their decisions/style/choices are "right" and some take the extra step and try to force that "right" stuff to other moms. In the hierarchy of who is really hard on moms IMO it would be the mom herself, followed by her own mother, her mother in law and other moms.

My favorite thing to do is scan the new EC's and other playgroups that I'm not part of even though I'm not PG or TTC and I always just go right to the debate sections. People are just as passionate about circumcision, vaxes, drinking during PG, baby wearing, CIO vs no-cry, etc etc as they are about BFing vs FFing and at times any PC is right out the window. Many moms have already made their feeding decision when they get PG. I think what may make the difference in the BFing vs FFing debate is *how* its presented by pro-BFing individuals. If the positive aspects of BFing are presented more to moms instead of focusing on the negatives or risks of FFing, more bees may be caught in the honey. This isnt to say the risks or negatives shouldnt be discussed at all though. It just takes *one* person to say something inflammatory about formula and the whole debate explodes. Tone is also very hard to figure out on a message board so perception of statements about formula can be viewed as inflammatory when they are not which just fuels it more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-1999

If you look at some of the other debate boards you'll see they are pretty one-sided also.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003

To a large extent I think the debate is whether it matters, or how much it matters.

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