Commitment, or lack thereof...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Commitment, or lack thereof...
1085
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 1:56pm

So I just saw something somewhere else (won't specify where, but I bet a few of you will figure it out!) where a woman indicated that she WAS planning on breastfeeding, but now because of a heated debate about it, she doesn't want to anymore.


Ummmmm, are you kidding me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:31pm

>>What do other people feel with letdown, out of curiousity?<<

I never felt anything with my first, but after my second I could sorta sense a subtle tingling, like you're foot waking up from having having the circulation cutoff. I assumed that was what others felt, but more dramatically.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:54pm

I stumbled across this board today & have found it very interesting to browse through. I didn't have time to read the whole thing today, but will definitely come back to it.

I'll add my two cents based on what I have read so far, but first I'll tell you about myself.

I had my little guy four weeks ago. I started out breastfeeding in the hospital & thought I was one of the "lucky" ones as he seemed to latch on like a pro. The nurses didn't bother to help me out when I asked them to check if he was latched on properly, they just took quick looks and said "he's fine." Then on day 3, his weight dropped below the dreaded 10% mark to 10.5%. In retrospect, I think it was because he was 11 days overdue & had 12 meconium poops his first day of life. But anyway, the panic was then on at the hospital & all of a sudden the nurses were very interested in telling me that my baby was not receiving enough from my breasts & insisted I pump & supplement with formula. I was sleep deprived beyond belief (like none in 8 days) so I did as I was told so I could leave the hospital & gave him formula & pumped milk. I had never even considered my baby would be fed formula. I am a nurse, I know "breast is best" & I am fully educated on all the benefits.

So my plan was to go home & work out the breast feeding. So here come my excuses...which I know full well are excuses. 1. It was now day 10 without sleep & I was tired. 2. Baby wouldn't latch & was starving. So... I decided to pump my breast milk & give it to him that way because I live in a small Northern town & the public health nurse couldn't come & see me for 3 days (excuse # 3). I pumped successfully & then experienced clogged ducts about a week & a half ago. I just got over them & I experienced them again 2 days later. I was pumping 7-8 times a day, alone in a little room (as my in-laws were visiting & my father in-law is a perve). I decided I couldn't handle getting the recurrent clogged ducts...which I am well aware is excuse #4. I also couldn't handle getting up to pump when I had just fallen asleep for the first time in 14 hours(I am a bad sleeper)...and I am at excuse #5. Plus, I figured I had been through enough after my 48 hours of contractions & non-progressing labour that ended up in a c-section (I know...boo hoo, cry me a river), excuse #6.

So my bottom line is. I am now formula feeding. I know it is not the best for my baby in the eyes of all you "committed" brest feeders. I know you will say it is not best for my baby period. However, I don't think it would be good for my baby to have a mother who is not sleeping, and run down, and bordering on becoming depressed, and who is not strong & healthy. No amount of breast milk would magically make that good for my baby.

So do I lack commitment...I guess I do. Do I feel happy with my decision to formula feed...Yes, I do. I tried. Maybe not hard enough in your eyes, but I know I gave it my personal 100%. Maybe you are a stronger, better person than me for perservering with breast feeding, despite it's challenges. I don't think so...but if you do, I'm a secure enough person to be okay with that.

Becky.




Edited 1/10/2008 7:03 pm ET by dreammansmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:10pm

Becky,

It is a tough decision to make. I realize it's not one you make lightly.

Parenting a newborn is HARD WORK. And yes, sleeplessness becomes routine. ;-) There are lots of moms who have quit early on thinking it will give them more sleep, only to realize it doesn't really, unless they have a *really* dedicated husband who is taking over a huge quantity of night feedings. My experience (in reading other people's stories) is that many dads are all too happy to take over night feedings completely...for about 2 days. And then it becomes "I'm the one who has to get up at 6 am to go to work", and whine whine, grumble grumble, mom ends up feeding at night more often than not. I know there *are* lots of dads who are execeptions to this, but it seems there are a lot who just don't realize how "full-time" a job night feeding can be.

I don't personally have any experience with formula. I went through less than you did; I got plugged ducts and mastitis, but I had babies who gained well, a good (short!) birth experience that didn't end in c-section. But I was still *very* tired a lot of the time. I did end up realizing that at 6 weeks I was pretty anemic and iron pills basically brought my moral up a lot within a week of starting to take them. I think it's something *all* new moms should be on the lookout for, particularily those who have never experienced iron deficiency anemia (since they don't know what it feels like). I did feel depressed, lethargic, slept a LOT etc.

BFing *does* get way better. But it has a steep learning curve to it. Usually for most, it's getting better around 3 months of age, which can seem a long way away when you are only 1 month out of the birth and all! :-)

Good luck with your baby...hope you feel less tired and better soon. If you decide you would like to relactate, do ask questions...there is a good chance it is not too late if you still are producing milk. If not, do take comfort in the fact that you provided BM to your baby for as long as you did. That's still great. It certainly gives him a lot of colostrum! :-)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:11pm

Not to nag you or anything, but;

"<>

The same as feeding it BM."

"Very true. However, one of the PPers had asked for an example of a BFed baby who got sick from that choice. Since I had a personal experience, I thought I'd share."

But you didn't get sick from the choice to bfeed. It's more like "even breastfeeding (by itself without special enzymes) wasn't enough" than "you'd have been better off if she'd formula fed from the start". Unless there was a case of extreme coincidence and the pre-digested formula was what was available.

Did you already respond and I missed it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:15pm

Becky,

It's situations like yours that motivate me to hang around on a board like this. I disagree that you don't have commitment #1 You didn't give up at the first hurdle. #2 You care enough about what you experienced to show up here.

I hope that you find hanging out on this board worthwhile and are willing to share your experiences and emotional reactions.

Congratulations on the birth of your little one!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:30pm

I will echo what Nisu said...you did have commitment and you didn't give in at the first sign of trouble.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:51pm
Adrienne is perfectly capable of answering this herself, but I think her point is that breastfeeding alone would not have been as beneficial as specialized formula alone. She was presenting it as an extreme example where formula would have been better from the get go than breastmilk, but, no, regular formula wouldn't have cut it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 8:00pm

"Did anyone do that?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 8:06pm

>>alcohol has MORE risks than formula<<

Any amount of alcohol is more risky than using formula? Or just/only alcohol is more risky than formula?

Does anyone know exactly how much alcohol has to be consumed by a pregnant or nursing woman before it becomes more risky than a BF vs FF? Even approximately?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 8:14pm
nisu i didnt drink while i was pregnant so i dont know how much alcohol is considered risk while pregnant but she had said that formula was risky like alcohol and i just dont agree with that at all

 

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