Commitment, or lack thereof...
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Commitment, or lack thereof...
| Tue, 01-08-2008 - 1:56pm |
So I just saw something somewhere else (won't specify where, but I bet a few of you will figure it out!) where a woman indicated that she WAS planning on breastfeeding, but now because of a heated debate about it, she doesn't want to anymore.
Ummmmm, are you kidding me?


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Do you know WHY it gets worse when you go in when she's crying? Hope. She starts hoping that you will pick her up, and her increased cries are a very clear message to that effect. If you are not in the room, she will eventually give up because as far as she knows, you can't hear her. (if you were talking/calling to someone in another room and they did not respond, wouldn't you assume it was because they couldn't hear you?) YOU set up the rules and made up your own expectations of what you think your daughter should be doing at nap times. It is this way because you make it so.
This is exactly where Ezzo creates problems and then offers "solutions". He convinces parents that babies "should" be able to sleep through the night (8 hours!) at an early age when only 16% of all babies sleep through the night by 6 months! If you do not *expect* a child to be sleeping through the night or going down for naps on their own, then you will not "need" a "solution".
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Like I said, I have never heard of any of this until now. Since Babywise doesn't say the least about any of this, I would rather not debate about it. If what you are saying is in fact true, I'm glad it doesn't seep it's way into Babywise, or I wouldn't have finished the book, since I don't agree.>>>
Don't you find it at least a little disturbing that you have been following advice all this time that is based on weird religious philosophies? You felt better about the materials when you didn't know their source... how does that make them better? It doesn't SEEP into Babywise, it is the FOUNDATION for Babywise. It is the SOURCE of his advice. He came up with his schedule and sleep training advice based on his religious beliefs, just removing the religious references does not change their origin, does it? If you need "proof", I would be more than happy to supply you with anything you need. (I own the religious version of Babywise, GKGW. I can give you direct quotes with page numbers upon request.)
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You'll have to give me a page # on this one LOL. My book does not say anything like this at all!>>>
This is in his religious materials, because his followers are told that "God's Ways" are superior to medical science, so they should take HIS advice over that of their doctor. Of course he's not going to put that into his secular materials, that would give away the game, wouldn't it?
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I find it odd that you don't have any problem with the materials as long as you don't have to know their source. If you found out that the "natural spring water" you were buying was actually coming out of a faucet at a sewage treatment plant, would you feel the same about drinking it? Source is everything.... the rest is just clever packaging. If the roots are bad, the fruit will be, too.
With an older child, I found at least for Sandrine, this didn't work. If I tried to hug and talk to her for her tantrum it just ended up lasting WAY WAY longer. We'd have a tantrum for like 20-30 minutes rather than 2 if I just said "this is what's happening and why" and left it at that without further discussion or involvement on my part.
Nyssa is different. She works with reasoning much better but with Sandrine it doesn't seem to work at all well. :-(
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True. :-) It just ends up winding everyone up, me and her (and DH if he's around) if we try discussing b/c it always escalates and lasts "forever". I TOTALLY hear you if that method doesn't work for your DS...every kid is different. But I think that I would be doing us both (all) a disservice, particularily when she was littler and had LOTS of TT's a day, to be paying so much attention to them as to distract from all the rest of the family etc. when letting her have her tantrum, and calm down and THEN discussing calmly works better.
FWIW DH is the same sometimes. he'll say "I've had enough of this conversation it's ending here" and if you *don't* end it, you argue for like an hour with him. If you just stop talking about it and let him calm down, 1/2 an hour later or an hour later (of *non* wasted breath ;-)) he is ready to listen to reason. ;-)
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I will say one thing here.
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While I don't believe that this is true ONLY w/ his schedule, at least he gives a "disclaimer" in the latest editions.
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FYI, I only did this for a few times during the night when DD was 5 wks old (she only used the passy for a very short period of time, when I then discontinued its use).
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You can analyze it all you want, but it works for us.
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That's great in theory for me, but I did not want to be fighting my toddler to go down for naps.
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" She knows that if she cries, you will come.
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