Commitment, or lack thereof...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Commitment, or lack thereof...
1085
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 1:56pm

So I just saw something somewhere else (won't specify where, but I bet a few of you will figure it out!) where a woman indicated that she WAS planning on breastfeeding, but now because of a heated debate about it, she doesn't want to anymore.


Ummmmm, are you kidding me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:11am

"Even with a tantrumming kid i don't ignore his cries. "


You got me ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:31am

"Again, I really think it depends on what works for each mom and baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:39am

"That's great in theory for me, but I did not want to be fighting my toddler to go down for naps.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:46am

How exciting!

Andi


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:47am

"I think you have to be careful here

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:54am

Babies develop object permanency between 7-12 months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:56am
Gosh, the 8th is gonna be an exciting day!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 9:58am

"Never read Ezzo's stuff, so I don't know what he says on the subject, but I don't believe that any of the other advocates of Time Outs (such as the guy who wrote 1-2-3 Magic) even suggest it for a child under the age of TWO!"


The youngest I have ever heard was 18 mo... and then the TO is only for like a minute.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 10:09am

<<>>

My 2yo daughter does not fight naps, either, and I didn't have to sleep-train her to get the same results. One of Ezzo's most common tactics is to make parents afraid NOT to use his methods. "If you don't use my schedule, your baby will be thrown into "metabolic chaos". If you don't use my methods, your child will grow up to be a whiny brat who pushes other kids off the swings. Your baby will never sleep through the night, you will be worn out and not be a good mom from all the fatigue of "demand nursing". Your children will humiliate you in public, etc."

You cannot parent in advance. You need to address each stage as it happens, and do what is appropriate for that age/stage. There is no reason to train an INFANT to sleep like a TODDLER. Infants are designed to wake frequently to nurse, very few do not. You can treat a baby like a baby, and gradually change their sleeping patterns as they mature. Ezzo would have you believe that if you don't start off the way you want your child to continue, that they will never learn. This is simply false.

<<<<>

Everyone's beliefs and past experiences shape them into who they are. I do not need to know all the authors' of my fav books entire histories to like the book.>>>

Even when you are following methods based specifically on this person's beliefs and past experiences? Ezzo started this series because people in his church would come up to him and compliment him on how well-behaved his 2 young daughters were. That's all he had was a little personal experience and nothing else, and out of that he created a detailed guide for other parents to follow. He took his own religious beliefs and made them into a parenting method, in spite of the fact that they do not line up with traditional church doctrine. (eg, he believes you have to spank children to relieve them of the guilt of sin.) You made it a point to tell me that just because I have six kids does not mean I know everything about parenting. (and my kids range from 2 to 18 years) Ezzo only had TWO kids under 10 years old when he wrote this stuff, and you're following his ideas as though he were some sort of expert. He's not a doctor, he's not a child psychologist, he's not even a pastor, he's nothing more than a charismatic person who managed to convince people that he knew what he was doing, to the point that he was able to publish a book. He has NO CREDENTIALS... none! Why is HIS word more valid than anyone else's? He told you that you should put your baby on his schedule, so you did. He said you should let her cry, so you did. Why are you listening to this guy with no credentials and a history of bad character?(his own adult children do not want to have anything to do with him... doesn't this send up big red flags that his advice may not be so good???)

<<<<>

This sounds like a very far out conspiracy, if you ask me!>>>

Nope, this is documented fact. He says it in his religious materials (GKGW) and in his seminars. Doctors, nurses and other health professionals frequently run into this with parents who can't understand why their baby isn't gaining weight appropriately, is becoming dehydrated, etc. to the point that they know to specifically ASK parents if they are using Babywise/GKGW when these things happen. A parent who is reading a secular book is going to be a lot less likely to accept it if they are told NOT to tell their doctor that they are using it... it's supposed to be supported by medical science, right? It's not, but that's the impression he's trying to give by having a doctor sign off on it. (Dr. Buckman, whose name appears on the cover, had NOTHING to do with writing these materials, they were already written long before he ever met Gary Ezzo, he just happened to agree with them, so he "endorsed" the book with his name.) Religious followers are going to be more likely to accept the "God knows better than science" line.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 10:20am

To begin with, it was hard b/c i was used to responding to her cries. But as you decipher which cries are to do with actual issues such as cold, thirst, hunger, fatigue etc. and which are just "b/c the kid wants his/her way" it became easier. ;-)

Like I said, since DH is a bit like this (but in an "adult way") it also probably helped to realize his DD is like him. He keeps trying to reason with her sometimes and I tell him to give it a rest (funny, she's much less likely to have a TT with me than him...) and he keeps saying he doesn't want her to end up like him, too wound up and angry to go on with the conversation. I'm like too bad champ, she is already and it's genetic! ;-)





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