confused and suprised

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
confused and suprised
15
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 8:45am

Awhile back we debated dad's and feeding and how there are other ways to snuggle and/or bond with a baby.

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Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 9:38am

LOL...no worries from me.


~christine~

Avatar for yogamom4
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Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 9:47am
i am going to be sad in general when tyler stos nursing, he is my last baby , even now when he drinks juice from a cup or baba he will usually sit with me, and end up nursing anyway, he is such a snuggle bug,, he will want to cuddle even if he is not nursing,, my last child hated being cudled at all!! he wouldn't even use the sling he would nurse ~~all business~ then get down and go play,

yoga

Vicky ~32~

SAHM  To

Kelsey The Brainiac

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 10:25am
I'm not totally clear on your question but I will say that DS#1 was much more of a snuggler than DS#2, and it did make me a little sad that DS#2 didn't like to sit and cuddle with his bottle like my first son. Once he was crawling feeding him was like feeding a wiggle worm. But I realized it was just a difference in their personalities and nothing I could control.

And actually, the cuddling was not just related to feeding time. My younger son doesn't like to sit still and cuddle for more than 30 seconds at ANY time. Yet my older son STILL loves to snuggle to read, watch TV with me, etc etc.

Anne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 10:32am
i'm not giving this enough attention..but...

if a baby won't sit for a bottle, in some cases there's potentially no snuggle time. if they're being nursed there's always some "guarunteed" snuggle time.

my son doesn't nurse anymore and he's REALLY on the go. there's very little if any opportunity for snuggling -- like i said a "fleeting" stage. dd is the same way now...she's all over the place - i actually fear she's going to walk.

right now, nursing is pretty much the only snuggle opportunity - if we were bottle-feeding i'm not sure there would be any...

i hope i didn't muddy this more...i'm trying to get out the door.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 11:07am

No, you didn't muddle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 11:45am
I just want to add that I don't think kids outgrow "snuggle time". My ds is 12 and he still likes to snuggle up with me on the couch sometimes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 3:59pm
"right now, nursing is pretty much the only snuggle opportunity - if we were bottle-feeding i'm not sure there would be any..."

As a ff I concur with this, I lost my snuggle time with ds when he was about 10 months (when he began cruising). I really did miss it.

Luckily though, about 5 months ago, the snuggle time came back. Every morning just before I have to wake dh up and get ready for work Allen toddles out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes and saying "Good morning Mommy, I need to snuggle you". It's a wonderful start to my day. I am going to enjoy it for as long as he does!

Judi


Avatar for kfira71
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 5:12pm

<<"my son doesn't nurse anymore and he's REALLY on the go. there's very little if any opportunity for snuggling -- like i said a "fleeting" stage.">>


I really think this probably depends a lot on the child's disposition. Some kids are just snugglers all the time, some only when they're upset, and some hardly ever. We have a young cousin who seems to be quite sensitive to touch (not liking certain fabrics in clothes, etc.), and he's definitely not the huggy/snuggly type (including with his parents). Then a different pair of cousins, ages 2 and almost 5, would hug and kiss anybody and everybody all day. If you get up to leave the room for a second, they run over and hug you, LOL! The 2 year old would spend the whole day on someone's lap if she could.


My DS has never been much of a snuggler. Even as an infant, he much preferred to be moving. If you just sat with him, he'd get fussy. But if you sat and bounced, he'd be fine. Once he learned to crawl, he wanted down almost all of the time, except when he was tired. He has always finished his bottles in record time, so you're right about that in our case -- there wasn't much opportunity for snuggle time there.


Now that he's two, he's showing fleeting interest in snuggles, and it just cracks me up every time. If I'm singing him a song before bed, he'll now sometimes grab my face and say "Kiss, kiss!" He follows that up with "Hug!" and "More hug!" But when he's done (usually after about 5 or 6 good hugs), he's done, LOL! Hey, I'll take what I can get.

~Kim

"Becoming a parent means agreeing to allow your heart to go walking around outside of your body."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 7:36pm
Some kids are just more "snuggly" than others. When my son was born, even in hospital..he hated being bundled up..he wanted his legs and arms free to wiggle and kick. When he nursed, it was often and for short periods..there was just too much to discover. He self weaned at 12 mo..I tried to feed him a bottle..but he wanted a sippy cup or nothing! He still snuggles now...expecially early am when he likes to climb into bed with dh and I..but it's on his terms for sure.

My daughter would love nothing more than to live in my arms. Loved being bundled as a baby, and loves to be cozy in a blanket even now..and she's almost 5. She would still be nursing if I hadn't finally just said "enough" when she was 2 1'2. Mind you..by that point she was only nursing very occasionally..so it wasn't a big step. She too explores her enviorment, and loves to go on backyard adventures with her big brother..but she just enjoys cuddles more.

I often wonder how this baby will be. I've had both extremes so I guess I'm ready for just about anything! It's so amazing how they're born with this complete personality..you can guide them..but I think their basic personalities are mosty there from birth.

Anyone else with more than 1 child ever think "Wow....how can these kids be from the same gene pool?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 10:14pm
" I think what I am trying to ask is why would you (general) become upset if your baby didn't want to snuggle when they were drinking liqued out of a bottle or cup. It is food and it isn't the end of the world...or the end of snuggle time."

The whole nursing thing is made up to be too much about food, and not enough about the rest of it. The whole cuddle aspect of it is MORE important than the food side of things. My DD has nursed through pgcy and the milk all but vanished (if she had one mouthfull of droplets during a session at the low ebb of it, she was probably lucky). She nurses for 45 min. on a breast that is virtually "empty"...i.e that she just nursed on for 45 min. previously and stopped not long before...when she is in a majorly clingy period. Or, I can be full to bursting practically and all she takes is 2-3 sips to comfort herself. The fact that there is "food" there, or the quantity ingested has NOTHING to do with the comfort she gets. And if I suggest that she might want to nurse if she says she's hungry, she says emphatically "no Mom, I'M HUNGRY...I don't want to nurse!". I know for a fact that most mornings she doesn't eat much breakfast, if any, because she has nursed and has milk in her (that IS her breakfast)...but if I were to wait until she were very hungry to offer her either to nurse, or to have breakfast, she'd choose breakfast. And then would probably want to nurse, even off a full breast, after having eaten a good meal. The food and the comfort are totally dissociated at this age, and one has no relationship with the other really.

BF kids dissociate the food aspect of the breast after the first year or so IMO and IME. Taht is partly why it's so much harder to wean an 18-24 mos old child than a 10 or 12 mos old child.

Fio.

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