Debate: Don't make them guilty?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Debate: Don't make them guilty?
3
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 6:21pm

Every article that gets posted about BFing seems to end in "not making bottlefeeding mothers and those who can't breastfeed feel guilty".

Formula manufacturer marketers must love that line; what a great marketing spin. It effectively closes down any debate, because anyone who continues talking once this has been said is considered to be "attacking new mothers".

Diane Wiessinger wrote, in her article entitled Watch Your Language:

"Let's rephrase, using the words women themselves gave me: "We don't want to make bottlefeeding mothers feel angry. We don't want to make them feel betrayed. We don't want to make them feel cheated."

Peel back the layered implications of "we don't want to make them feel guilty," and you will find a system trying to cover its own tracks. It is not trying to protect her. It is trying to protect itself.

Let's level with mothers, support them when breastfeeding doesn't work, and help them move beyond this inaccurate and ineffective word."

If we keep blaming each other, feeling guilty about talking about the good things about BFing and trying not to think about it until the next piece of research comes out that fills us with regret, betrayal and anger, nothing will get better for anyone. The current beliefs will never change - and our daughters and granddaughters will continue that cycle of "not being able to BF".

So what do you think

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 7:18am

As someone who ahs struggled with breastfeeding all her children and who was/is absolutely dying to do so, we DO feel guilty, angry, cheated all of that. I personally EP'd 11 months for my DS AND worked to get him to the breast 11 months.I nursed him untill 2 1/2 years and was made to wean at 5 mos. preg. w/ twins

us
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:17am
witch_power wrote:

Every article that gets posted about BFing seems to end in "not making bottlefeeding mothers and those who can't breastfeed feel guilty".

Formula manufacturer marketers must love that line; what a great marketing spin. It effectively closes down any debate, because anyone who continues talking once this has been said is considered to be "attacking new mothers".

Diane Wiessinger wrote, in her article entitled Watch Your Language:

"Let's rephrase, using the words women themselves gave me: "We don't want to make bottlefeeding mothers feel angry. We don't want to make them feel betrayed. We don't want to make them feel cheated."

Peel back the layered implications of "we don't want to make them feel guilty," and you will find a system trying to cover its own tracks. It is not trying to protect her. It is trying to protect itself.

Let's level with mothers, support them when breastfeeding doesn't work, and help them move beyond this inaccurate and ineffective word."

If we keep blaming each other, feeling guilty about talking about the good things about BFing and trying not to think about it until the next piece of research comes out that fills us with regret, betrayal and anger, nothing will get better for anyone. The current beliefs will never change - and our daughters and granddaughters will continue that cycle of "not being able to BF".

So what do you think

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:30am

Do you actually feel "guilty"?

I understand anger, betrayal and cheated but why guilt?

You aren't saying you "weren't able to" breastfeed while knowing full well that you had knowingly sabotaged the breastfeeding.

Formula is NOT poison, it was designed for this very situation. Your babies cannot get breastmilk for very legitimate reasons and formula is an adequate substitute. Starvation is NOT an acceptable alternative, while formula is.