Debate: Making the best choice

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Debate: Making the best choice
9
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 12:02pm

"All moms make the best choice they can with the knowledge they had at the time"

That statement bugs me, because not all parents make the best decisions they can - 100% of the time. I have seen so many examples in the news and IRL. It's all very pretty and supportive to say that mom made the best decision that she could - but it's just not true in all cases.

Don't you know of at least one person who seems to make bad choices - despite receiving good advice? Do you honestly always make the best choice - 100% of the time? I know I don't.

And the reason it bugs me is because the children have to deal with the consequences of the choices she makes - good or bad. If they suffer as a result, does it make them feel better to be told that mom made the best choice she would at the time - even though it turned out to be a really bad choice?

So I thought maybe we could discuss this - what does that statement really mean?

That if a mom had different knowledge, she would have made a different decision? (Does that make her original decision wrong?)

That it was the best decision because fortunately it worked out in the end, even though it wasn't the greatest decision at the time?

A mother's decisions - right or wrong - should never be questioned or be used to make her feel guilty?

A mother never makes a wrong decision, no matter what she chooses?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 12:04pm

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 12:18pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 12:41pm

I think that is what people often mean - but is it true? Do ALL moms make the best choice they can "at that particular time and place with what knowledge and understanding she had" - 100% of the time?

Do all mums....who knows.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 4:05pm

"All moms make the best choice they can with the knowledge they had at the time"

Are people really saying "all"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 11:45pm

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 6:08am

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 6:56am
witch_power wrote:

"All moms make the best choice they can with the knowledge they had at the time"

That statement bugs me, because not all parents make the best decisions they can - 100% of the time. I have seen so many examples in the news and IRL. It's all very pretty and supportive to say that mom made the best decision that she could - but it's just not true in all cases.

Don't you know of at least one person who seems to make bad choices - despite receiving good advice? Do you honestly always make the best choice - 100% of the time? I know I don't.

I know I did things that I look back on as mistakes. I also know that at times when I felt something was wrong, and I was told no, by multiple professionals, that I maybe waited too long before pushing hard enough to find out what was really wrong. I didn't wait as long later on with my children.

And the reason it bugs me is because the children have to deal with the consequences of the choices she makes - good or bad. If they suffer as a result, does it make them feel better to be told that mom made the best choice she would at the time - even though it turned out to be a really bad choice?

So I thought maybe we could discuss this - what does that statement really mean?

That if a mom had different knowledge, she would have made a different decision? (Does that make her original decision wrong?)

Quite possibly yes, to both those questions.

That it was the best decision because fortunately it worked out in the end, even though it wasn't the greatest decision at the time?

If someone really thinks it is not a great decision at the time, then it was probably a poor decision, even if by some chance, it all worked out OK in the end.

A mother's decisions - right or wrong - should never be questioned or be used to make her feel guilty?

This is often what the statement seems to be meaning. But, I question this whole approach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 1:31pm

albinismmum wrote:

Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 2:46pm

"All moms make the best choice they can with the knowledge they had at the time"

I don't like this statement as is for the sole reason of the "all" because I think it's too absolute.

2010 Siggy