Debate: Why do some FFers bash the BFing choice?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Debate: Why do some FFers bash the BFing choice?
10
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 10:41am

When pregnant women talk about wanting to BF, some who have FF will jump in and activiely bash the BFing choice - why is that?

One person's thought on this:

Like with any minority group that struggles to have their voices heard, there are people who take an aggressive stance and may say things that are percieved as hurtful to people who formula feed, and when you feel attacked it's hard to see the forest for the trees, and to realize that one person=/=every person, and thereby formula feeding parents become aggressive and defensive as well (even though, as a majority, they really don't need to).

ANother:

By putting you down, she is re-inforcing her own decision.Tthe fact that she makes excuses for not BFing implies that she is insecure about FF and is afraid others will think she is a selfish mother.

Do you agree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010

I think sometimes people dont' even understand enough to realize they are being insulting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 10:35pm
I do think that some people are reinforcing their own decisions and trying to make herself feel better. I also think that there needs to be a LOT more education on breastfeeding and the benefits of it because I feel like a lot of the bashing comes from those that aren't as educated on the topic. Kind of like I just posted EWWW on another board post about placenta encapsulation..... I'm sure it has its benefits and I'm sure many good things about it but because I know little about it, my gut reaction is Ewwww. Maybe if I were more educated about it, I wouldn't feel that way (no, that is not an invitation to educate me about it on here.... because right now I'm not interested in learning about it lol, and I'm just using this for illustration!).

Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008

Like others have said, I think it's can occur in some cases because some mothers simply do not feel confident in their choice to FF and thus bash BF'rs in order to feel better. This can occur in other areas of parenting and birth such as people bashing women who choose natural birth methods or mothers who don't CIO or circumcise their boys, or spank their kids. In other instances, it can be that they simply do not realize that ran into a nasty BF advocates and don't realize that not all BF critics are like that so they bash them all. In some cases they don't realize that they been misinformed about some aspects of BF'ing or FF'ing and thus don't realize that something a BF'rs or BF advocate is saying to them is actually true and not simply a lie being being said to attack FF'rs or promote BF'ing by any means necessary. For example, some women will interpret any attempt fully inform them as pro-BF propaganda due to others convincing them that BF advocates are all liars trying to sell BF'ing by any means necessary. They buy into the faulty anecdotal evidence supporting FF'ing as being just good as BF'ing healthwise or other faulty logic like if formula was truly risky healthwise then the FDA would have banned by know.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

It would be interesting to see some comments from people who once did bash/denigrate breastfeeding and how they changed . Too bad our little debate is so lopsided.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2008
I think lack of information or because they feel like they need to be defensive. Some stuff doesn't bother me too much but what really gets me is the "gross" label. I just don't get what could be gross about it. Also I don't get the comparing breastfeeding to pooping or peeing when discussions of public breastfeeding come up.
bigbro
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010

I know the pooping, peeing, sex in public thing also is annoying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 12:15am
There are so many reasons, but I think it basically comes down to the person having an opinion and feeling secure enough to share it with the people there.
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 10:09am

I would not describe people who bash other people as secure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Good point Nisu!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008

Neither would I.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink