Do you ever feel the need to bite your tongue when it comes to responding to FF'rs (or BF'rs)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Do you ever feel the need to bite your tongue when it comes to responding to FF'rs (or BF'rs)?
9
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 10:33pm

Have you ever had a situation where you wanted to say something to a formula feeder (or brreastfeeder) about formula or breastfeeding but decided it would not be well recieved so you resisted the urge?

Some examples from my own experience:

* Resisting the urg to tell a mother on Youtube that FF'ing that formula is really not just as good or close enough to BF'ing as she claimed.or

* Resistanting the urge to tell a mother who was weaning herchild at a year that ext. BF'ing does have benefits

* Resisting the urge to tell a mother who quit BF'ing to treat PPD at her doctors insistance that her doctor was likely wrong about not being able to treat the PPD without her quitting breastfeeding.

* Manu instances IRL where I resisted the urge to disagree with a FF'ing mothers incorrect statements about BF'ing vs formula.

In all the above situations I decided that the my comments/advice would not have been well recieved and would not likely have accomplished anything positive thus I chose to remain mum. I feel it's important that BF advocates learn when the advocacy, info,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2002

Actually..there was an instance where I suppose I should have held my tongue but decided I'd had enough..When I was pregnant I decided I wanted my baby girl to have my milk(both my boys were formula fed and did not suffer any ill effects) but wanted to give breastfeeding a go..but knew that because of all my obligations I would not be with my baby 24/7 so I bought a pump..I was chewed up and down for this by a mother saying it was practically child abuse..we had a heated argument and it got pretty nasty..Honestly breast is best..but formula has come a long way since the days when we were just given cows milk if not breastfed..It really is a personal decision and women choose to do it or not to do it for many different reasons..it dosent meant they love their baby any less..Hoping to not have my head bitten off for the above..LOL

 BabyFruit Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
jessy_ree wrote:

Actually..there was an instance where I suppose I should have held my tongue but decided I'd had enough..When I was pregnant I decided I wanted my baby girl to have my milk(both my boys were formula fed and did not suffer any ill effects) but wanted to give breastfeeding a go..but knew that because of all my obligations I would not be with my baby 24/7 so I bought a pump..I was chewed up and down for this by a mother saying it was practically child abuse..we had a heated argument and it got pretty nasty..Honestly breast is best..but formula has come a long way since the days when we were just given cows milk if not breastfed..It really is a personal decision and women choose to do it or not to do it for many different reasons..it dosent meant they love their baby any less..Hoping to not have my head bitten off for the above..LOL

That does not sound like a nice conversation. What was her point? That you should not be pumping, but breastfeed directly every single time?

I can emapthise with this to some extent. When my children were babies, I was working full time when one of them was quite young, and madly pumping to exclusively breastfeed him. At that time, it was not very common for mothers to be returning to work when their children were so young, and I copped a lot of flack from town gossips who probably did not realise the effort I was going to. Also, at that time in my job - part-time work and paid maternity leave which is available now was completely unavailable. So although both of these would have helped me a LOT, I did not have a choice really. Ironically, one of the town gossips should have also known that my husband had been unable to obtain a secure job all of this time.

For myself, I do hold my tongue when my sister-in-law makes comments about how lucky I was to have milk. Especially when my routine meant I could not pump enough while at work, and my supply would drop day by day every single week. I would spend every single weekend nursing frequently, building it back up again. Whereas her practice of having a bottle ready every single time, making it while her baby screamed for a feed - just in case a supplement was needed, almost guaranteed her supply would drop. Nervous and tense by the time she sat down to nurse, with a baby exhausted from crying, naturally the baby did not feed well, and then had several ounces of formula, just in case. This commenced in the hospital, and only stopped after a couple of months when she began to use formula full time. But in her eyes, I was 'lucky' to have milk, and she was 'unlucky' as she did not have enough milk.

Teresa

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

welcome

Welcome to the debate board. It's wonderful to see you posting here and I hope that you will stick around and post more often.

I had something in my signature for a while about how no matter what choice you make, on any topic, someone will come along to tell you what an idiot you are for making that choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
All the time. With both BF'ers and FF'ers. It seems that very few people actually have a good handle on the true facts of what they're doing, regardless of how they feed.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
What Thistle said.




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Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006

Yep, constantly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

Constently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

but formula has come a long way since the days when we were just given cows milk

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
charleen2008 wrote:

Have you ever had a situation where you wanted to say something to a formula feeder (or brreastfeeder) about formula or breastfeeding but decided it would not be well recieved so you resisted the urge?

Oh, sure! It's not just feeding, either, it's all sorts of things. I can get on a soapbox sometimes so I bite my tongue a lot. I don't want others feeling like I think I'm better than they are; I do, however, want others to know if they are doing something they may not know is dangerous or risky. (car seats, bottle propping, etc)

Do you feel that you act differently online then IRL when it comes to when you will respond to a incorrect or ingnorant comment from a FF'r (or BF'r)?

Definitely. But I usually only encounter comments here, and it's acceptable here to respond to an incorrect or ignorant comment from anyone! ;-) Sometimes on Facebook I will read something incorrect/ignorant but it totally depends on my relationship with that person whether I respond or not. I once unfriended someone because it was easier than sitting on my hands when she made a completely ignorant and insulting comment about people who don't vaccinate.

Kevali


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