Extended BFing: what do you REALLY think

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Extended BFing: what do you REALLY think
64
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 11:27am

I've been sitting on my hands on other forums (not necessarily iVillage) because the topic of the forum is not one where I'd feel comfortable, but where extended nursing has become a side debate. In the hopes of bringing out some lurkers I wanted to talk about older nurslings again. I know we've beat the topic to death here but I don't see any other dead horses lying around either. ;o)


I've never heard a convincing argument AGAINST nursing a child to whatever age they decide to stop. I've heard the following:


Mom isn't doing it for the child; she's doing it for herself, and not allowing the child to grow up/learn how to feed/learn how to self-soothe/attain indepencence.


Child shouldn't nurse past the age of ___ because it isn't nutritionally necessary.


Child will grow up to have a skewed image of women/have sexual feelings toward his/her mother


OK, maybe breastmilk is healthy, but Mom should not be feeding it directly from the breast past the age of ___; she should pump.


Am I missing anything? Is there any truth to these arguments for a normal child (meaning one that is developing normally both physically and mentally)?

Kevali


Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 12:11pm

~~Mom isn't doing it for the child; she's doing it for herself, and not allowing the child to grow up/learn how to feed/learn how to self-soothe/attain indepencence.~~

Yep, definitely that - hang on while I call my boys and ask when they are coming home?? ;)

~~Child will grow up to have a skewed image of women/have sexual feelings toward his/her mother~~

Not only that but the child will become gay if a boy - not sure how that works?? LOL I wonder how many gay men have been BF past a year, compared to the number of straight men BF past a year?

Of course, then I have to wonder if all men were gay before formula was invented, since most children were BF till at least 2-3 years if not older.



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


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~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 12:43pm

I know the exact board/thread you are talking about and I too have been sitting on my hands!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 1:01pm
Am I allowed to go there and invite them to our board as the CL?



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


CL Breastmilk vs. Formula Debate Board






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



Pregnancy Stories By Age - 43-56+yrs old!


You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's


Frugal Freebies



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 1:20pm

=-)

I don't know much about extended nursing as I stopped bf'ing when my son was almost a year old. However, I don't really see anything *wrong* with nursing past a year, or two years, or 4 years. If the child and the mother are both comfortable with it, then who am I to say anything, you know?





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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 1:22pm
ABSOLUTELY! Please do!! I'll FB you the link.

Kevali


Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 1:48pm

"OK, maybe breastmilk is healthy, but Mom should not be feeding it directly from the breast past the age of ___; she should pump."

I would put "puberty" into the blank.

I do believe that a child who has not self-weaned by puberty should be "helped" along the separation path.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 2:03pm

I really think extended nursing is just fine, and I really haven't heard a convincing argument against it either. I think the negative reaction people have to it is completely, 100%, explained by culture. We all have that happen, where we hear something about another culture or something in our culture that deviates from our cultural norms, and go whoa, what just one second, that can't be right at all, that is totally weird that they do it that way, it must not be good because otherwise we'd do it, and we most certainly don't. The more those culture driven attitudes are challenged the more people will rethink their reactions, find their own explanations lacking, and hopefully conclude it really is no big deal.

One that always gets me is about cultures who let little babies play with sharp knives, and near open pits. The open pit one I sort of get. Kids have a really good sense of balance if you don't interfere with them learning it because you are so afraid they will fall (read: overprotective). I wouldn't put my kid near an open pit, but I do let them take some risks on things like stairs and higher areas, and my kids have a great sense of balance, even my low-tone girl who falls easily knows what she can manage and what she can't. But the sharp knives I struggle to understand. I find it very, very interesting even though I can't wrap my head around it at all.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

John W. Gardner



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 2:42pm

I do not know of any good reasoning against extended nursing.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 2:47pm

TBH, even though I not only advocate but practice CLW, it still looks odd to me when I see someone ELSE nursing an older child. After I get over the initial shock I think to myself, "cool!" but for that one split second, I'm right there in the "Ew, icky!" group.


Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 3:08pm
LOL. Yeah, I think that can be true for so many things. Like At first you might go "no way" to the idea of a new sex act, but then it turns out you actually kind of like it, and want to do it again, and again, and again. Or when young kids say "ewww" to kissing, or kids go "the baby comes out of WHERE?????" Then you become totally accustomed to experiencing those things because they are fundamentally human and biologically normal, but can still have a reaction to seeing other people doing them.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

John W. Gardner



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
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