How long should a woman try bf before

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Registered: 03-25-2003
How long should a woman try bf before
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Wed, 04-02-2003 - 1:22pm
deciding to quit?? Is there a time frame?? Does it depend on the newborn?? Any thoughts from you bf'ers out there as to what you would like to see?? What would make you happy??


christine


~christine~

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Avatar for mahogny
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 3:10pm
What I've heard is never to make any kind of decision to quit bf'ing within the first 6 weeks.

During this time, yours and baby's body's aren't sync'ed yet; sometimes it seems like you have way too much milk, and sometimes it seems you don't have enough milk, because nursing newborns need to nurse every 2 hours. Also, during those first 6 weeks, you're EXHAUSTED, you want to sleep, heal from childbirth, tend to older children (if applicable), and just generally feel back to normal. Not to mention the incredible effect hormones have on our systems! In other words, you aren't thinking clearly until 6 weeks postpartum! LOL

So, the advice I was given was to bf for 6 weeks, and do not make any rash decisions to quit until after that time period. At around 6 wks of age, the baby starts sleeping longer, so Mommy can sleep longer, milk supply evens out, and things just get a whole lot easier. The first six weeks are very hard, but if you trudge through it, it suddenly becomes so incredibly, unbelievably easy.

This was true for me and many of my mommy friends. Your mileage may vary.


Sarah and 17.5 month old nursling, Adam

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 6:16pm
IMO, I think 6 weeks is a reasonable length of time to stick it out before deciding to quit. It can take that long to get mom & baby in sync & for them to feel completely comfortable with the whole process. I had problems with bleeding & cracked nipples with both of my kids & it was about 3 weeks before all had healed.

Janet & nursling Sierra

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:21pm
What i would like to see? Well, many mothers are not aware that even WITH perfect latch ... soemtimes it just DOESNT go well. IMHO it takes are LEAST 3 weeks to BEGIN to get the hang of it & get comfortable ... & SIX weeks before both Mom & baby are good at it. So i feel that the 6 week mark is where it does get easier. The baby isnt nursing 24/7, mom starts to feel a little better over all & i feel that if some moms could get to this point, they would then nurse for even longer. I knwo if *I* hadnt stuck it out htose 6 weeks, i NEVER would have made it 3+ years, THATS for sure. It was SO much harder than i ever imagined. But my milk came in realy late & i had major supply issues for 3 months, so i wa a little out of the ordinary. R~
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:32pm
I think that women should at least keep trying until their milk comes in.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:38pm
As a pro-formula feeder I firmly believe it up a *very* personal decision that a mother should make, albeit informed & educated on the subject, not blindly. But still it is *her* decision to do what is BEST for her baby and herself. I don't think there is an ultimate answer that can speak for all. Sometimes that may be a short time, sometimes a very short time, others it may be times w/more length (6wks +). JMHO
Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Wed, 04-02-2003 - 9:20pm
OK...so what did I do wrong?? I bf'd my oldest for that long. What happened?? Seriously.

Granted I was very depressed, wouldn't eat much, and basically walked around like a zombie most of the time. Bfing him was a chore and a constant struggle. I hated it. Well......I hated the way it made me feel and the way it made him feel.

I don't remember if his weight was an issue...but I don't think so. I think it was just the terrible time I was having attempting to bf him. He constantly spit my nipple out or just refused it altogether. Yet, he would scream because he was hungry.

I have learned alot since coming here and think that it must have been the let-down. Either I didn't have any?? Or it was too fast?? I don't know. I guess my point is.....is it just the time frame??

FTR, I rented a pump. I went and paid a lactation consultant. I even used one of those thingys that strap to your breast and you feed formula through it at the same time being stimulated. Either it didn't work or I didn't try hard enough. I don't know. The lactation consultant was convinced I wasn't making enough milk......?? I mean isn't that the reason for the thingy?? Or else I wasn't letting down. Shoot.....no surprise though. I can be so uptight sometimes that if you were to stick a lump of coal up my ass you'd get a diamond. Funny thing.......I remember taking percocet for pain after my c-section, and honest to God that was the only time I would let-down. Seriously. I would wake up in the middle of the night absolutely soaked. Hmmmmmm.....

Any suggestions as well?? That is, how to relax enough to let-down?? And please don't tell me to sit quietly and relax......lol.....I am obsessive-compulsive(more than you needed to know) and I think relaxing is something EXTREMELY difficult for me. Ask my dh.


christine


~christine~

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:30am
Well Christine, I'll have to tell you what I've seen you say alot;) You are the exception instead of the rule.

<>

If you truly felt that BF was a "chore & constant struggle", I would say it was a "mental thing" (not meaning you are crazy)and that is why you couldn't relax enough. Was your heart truly into BFing or did you just say, I'll try it & see how it goes because that's what I'm supposed to do? I know healthcare people can be very pushy when it comes to BFing. Also, if you weren't eating/drinking enough that can cause a decrease in supply.

I notice you said that you had tried alot of different methods. Did you try any natural ones? There are several herbs and such that people swear by for increasing supply.

It's been said several times, BF is natural but it doesn't always come naturally. I also had a hard time w/ BF my first. I think a lot of women do. Your body has just been through some major trauma-at least mine did w/ a 10# baby- and then you are shipped out of the hospital in no time flat. When my mom had me (a three hour labor, just makes me sick) she was in the hosp. for 1 week!

Also, there is a lot of pushing towards rooming in. I think it's a great idea & did that w/ both of my girls. However, it just compounds the stress of just having given birth and then they throw this screaming little mass at you that you are supposed to be caring for when your beat down exhausted. For example, w/ DD#2, I was induced. I had to get up @ 5:00 to be @ the hosp. @ 6:00 am. Then it take forever to get you prepped. I was in LDR until they could find me a room @ 10:00PM (baby was born @ 5:45pm). Then, they make my DH leave because it is a semi-private room, so I have noone to help me get in & out of bed to go to the bathroom, help w/ baby etc. They expected us to keep a chart of when baby ate, & for how long/how much, when baby voided etc. BTW, I got chewed out by the nursing staff because I didn;t keep my log the first night. The nursing staff was pretty much a joke in post partum. They treated my roommate like crap. They were pretty much useless. Whew, long story, sorry.

Basically what I was trying to say is there could be so many little things that just added up, that it is hard to pin-point if there was just one that was the problem. I also guess there are going to be some women who just can't produce enough milk, although I don't think that is very common at all. Maybe if you had had a different LC things would have worked out differently for you. I'm by no means an expert, but these are some observations I have made.

Janet & nursling Sierra

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Thu, 04-03-2003 - 11:09am
Yes, it's funny how with my first.......I had no idea. It's sort of scary. I really was another person though. I had very bad thoughts about my baby. Let me just say that I can understand totally when someone does something out of desperation or depression. NOt that I had thoughts of hurting my child, but I can see where that would have been a logical step. Thankfully, I did get help.....accepted the help from my OB and went on meds. And WOW.what a difference. Unfortunately, I had long since given up on bf.

I didn't try and natural ways. Isn't Reglan a pill that helps as well?? Is that something you would take??

christine


~christine~

Avatar for mommy2amani
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Thu, 04-03-2003 - 11:59am
Believe it or not, we MIGHT have something in common here. You should talk to MY husband about my OCD tendencies.

I formula fed our first after just a few weeks, and now that I am nursing our second, I am convinced that the reason it didn't work with my first was that I was unable to relax. Nap? Ha! I've taken one nap in 16 years, and that was just a few weeks ago. With DD, I didn't sit down to eat, or even eat anything I could chew (pretty much tomato soup in a mug) the whole time I was trying to nurse. There was no way I could have all those visitors to my house and have the place not be spotless. DD cried constantly! I had only one friend who nursed, and her advice was simply to keep trying. The lactation consultant told me to pump every 2 hours for 30 minutes at a time around the clock for 2 days. That only added to my sleep deprivation, and in fact, I ended up back at the hospital and found I was anemic. When I wasn't pumping or feeding the baby, I was either sitting on the floor of the shower until the hot water ran out, or when it did, I was sitting next to the heating vent with my shirt pulled over it so the hot air would run up my back. A pitiful sight, me sitting on the floor in front of the vent, holding my crying newborn. I gained 70 lbs. with that pregnancy and lost it all in 12 weeks. I wasn't dieting, just not taking the time to eat.

Anybody who knows me will tell you that I've calmed down considerably in the four years since DD was born, and I'm convinced that is why I haven't had a problem nursing DS. I've had a couple of cases of mastitis, but I got on meds and got it taken care of, didn't miss a beat. With the first, I was so uptight, that a case of mastitis would have been the end of BF for me.

And to answer a couple of other questions, as one who has done both, BF is so much easier than FF (I don't have a problem nursing discreetly in public), and BF poop smells much better than FF poop. I never thought FF was difficult or that the poopies were especially offensive until I had experience with a BF baby.

Lora and Elias (10/25/02)

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Thu, 04-03-2003 - 12:06pm
OMG!! YOu sound just like I did with my first. I gained 50lbs and lost it in 8 weeks. No joke. I would do just what you did.......holding my crying newborn in the shower....on the floor with the space heater on. Ugh....just thinking about it.

Having OCD is tough sometimes, but I have gotten alot better!! But it will be with me forever....so I just accept it. KIWM??

It's like.....I am so determined to bf that I can't relax. I am constantly watching the clock, paying attention if he is swallowing, wondering if I should switch sides yet, trying to remember which side I started on, wondering how many pee diapers and poo diapers he has had, looking to make sure he is latched on properly, thinking about what to fix for dinner, the fact that my kitchen is a mess, and DARNIT.....I am still not letting down.........PHEW!! It sucks. I need to learn how to relax. I need to teach myself how to sit calmly and quietly.....maybe there is help out there.



christine


~christine~

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