I Can't Believe This......

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
I Can't Believe This......
5
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 5:50pm
Hello Ladies,



This is my first time posting on this board; but when I heard this story the other day I just became so infuriated and disgusted. I am a member of a breast feeding support group through our local area hospital. I have been attending the goup once a week every week since I gave birth to my daughter December 31. There is another mom that had her daughter 3 days after I did and had been breastfeeding successfully for 2 months, her baby was gaining a pound a week. Well, one day she came into class and was so upset. She has older children from a previous marriage and during her exhusbands visitaion (court ordered) he Molested and Raped her 5 yr old daughter. CPS was called and her older kids were taken into custody and her exA-hole was arrested. We all felt so sick over the situation as we watched her cry as she held her new baby. CPS says she failed to protect her other kids and is going to make her go through the system to get them back in her custody. This was the first ad only thime anything like this had ever happened so how could she have known? Well, the next week she showed up hysterical asking to speak with me (we had gotten pretty close) and our group Lactaion Consultant. CPS had come to her house where she and her current husband are living (which is also a different county from where the other CPS thing happend) and took her 2 mos old baby. They said that the other county had called and that they felt her baby was at an abuse risk! Well, they took her daughter out of her arms as she was breastfeeding. Mom asked if they'd give her expressed breast milk and they said yes so she gave them all she had in her fridge (she had been saving up for her first "date" with her husband from post pregnancy). She wanted to know what she could do to help keep her milk supply up and express it thoroughly so her daughter could get all of the benefits, because she and her husband were only allowed to see their infant daughter 2 times a week for an hour and therefor was onlt able to nurse her at those times. Well, she went out and rented an electric breast pump, started taking fenugreek 4 times a day, drank "nursing" tea, sat and sniffed her babies clothes for her scent so she could just keep her milk supply up. She was doing so good. She pumped every 2-3 hrs for 20 mins and would get 6 to 8 ounces at each session. She would diligently use breastmilk freezer bags and label name, date, time, quantity, and then fill them up and freeze them so that on her next visit to see her daughter she could bring her baby some more of her liquid love so she would get the health benefits and still feel her mommy's love while they were seperated. Mother asked that her daughter be fed with AVENT bottles since she had to be bottle fed so tht it would help her daughter maintain proper latch on shape. Her and her hubby even supplied the bottles...6 of them. Every week they asked where they were, every week no one knew and the baby was being fed with playtex and regular reusables. 7 weeks of pain from pumping and worry about her milk supply, concern over her daughters now adament refusal of the breast, but she did it none the less. 7 weeks before she was told that her daughter wasn't allowed to have expressed breastmilk while in "custody" and that all of the breastmilk she had delivered had been thrown away. When she asked why she was told that they couldn't be certain that it wouldn't be tainted so that was their policy. She was crushed. She faught it in court, but by the time the hearing came about she had almost no milk supply left (added stress and the ensuing depression and the fact her daughter refused to nurse) and her dear daughter would scream if even brought to the breast. The judge ruled it a moot point in CPS favor. Devastated, my friend returned the pump. Last week, a month later, she gets a call one morning that her daughter had been admitted into the hospital. Terrified and in a panic she asked her social worker for permission to go and see her child. When she got there she found out that her daughter was having severe respiratory problems because she had caught the Croupe. The doctors said that it is very rare to see a baby under 6 mos old with the Croupe but even though her daughter was 4 mos old that is what she had. The Doctor even added that if mom had breastfed this probally would not have happend since the Croupe is one of the primary illnesses reduced by breastmilk antibodies. When mom brought this fact up with CPS they tried to say then that it was her fault for not protecting her children because then they would have had no need to remove her daughter and stop her BFin relationship. My friend called me and told me most of this story the other day, we hadn't spoken to each other since March. I was furious! How could CPS do that to her...or her daughter for that matter. They are supposed to be working in her child's best interest, Ins't that BREASTFEEDING?!!! I am so Irate with this scenario, what BS. Anyway, she starts unsupervised visits with her infant daughter next month 3 times a week for and hour and a half..well, they're sort of unsupervised, they have her husband there at all times saying they still can't be sure she will adequately protect her daughter. The other County allows her to see her older children once a week for an hour and is putting up several road blocks to her rapid progress of reattaining her kids, but she is a fighter and she did nothing wrong, she'll prevail. I just thought all of you should know how our tax dollars support breastfeeding during times when a child needs it most!!

Thanks For Your Ear,

Heather

Avatar for luv_my_boyz
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 6:11pm
Is there anything we can do to help? Where is this happening? Maybe this situation needs a big loud protest from a bunch of angry mothers- has the media been contacted?

Danielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 6:51pm
This is in San Diego. I haven't called anybody and as far as I know neither has she because she doesn't want to risk losing her daughter over her beliefs. I know as soon as she gets her daughter back and out of their control she plans on suing through tha ACLU if they'll take her case. Maybe she'll contact the media when this is over. She has definately thought of a protest as soon as she gets here baby back, she just doesn't want them to be A-Hoels about all of it and keep her daughter form her longer or forever becuase she points out their obvious evils. If anybody wants to do anything contact thier areas congressman and ask them to put in to each and every persons state that children in DCS (CPS) custody have the right to receive their mother's expressed breastmilk and that all efforts should be made to maintain that nursing and bonding relationship (after all there is almost no incidence of breastfed babies being abused, just another wonderful thing breastfeeding does...lowers child abuse due to the bond) and if there is any question about the purity of the milk than it should be sent out for testing, then only if the results are positive for "tampering" should the breastmilk and breastfeeding be ceased. If we can get a bill or at least a practice such as this introduced into one county/state than it will set a precidence for all others and make the fight everywhere else that much easier. Thank you so much for asking, it is a crime what the government can get away with just because "they can".

Thanks Again,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 8:50pm
This post made me cry.

What evil people.

In the UK, they rarely take children now, because they know most children can't thrive away from their families. They support the family instead if there have been problems so they can stay together. They only remove children in the most extreme of circumstances. Families love their children, and want the best, even if times are hard, or they can't cope.

This is due to over-removing children in the 80s, often when they were at no risk.

What wicked wicked people.

:(

Jenny

Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 7:19pm
OK...maybe I'll sound mean here, but this just doesn't sound right. I've seen plenty of cases like this(I do work in the legal system in California). And there is no way they really would have taken the kids, especially the baby from a different DH. Something sounds a little fishy here. Usually they would do anything to SUPPORT the mother, or if anything, give the children to a relative and file charges against the ex. So I don't know if you have the real story here, but it just doesn't sound right.

And if it is right, she has a hell of a lawsuit.

Ilka



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 8:29pm
I don't think you sound mean at all, I actually think you are right. I also question whether or not this is the complete story or someone embellishing. I guess it could be true, but I for one would need more proof.

Janet & nursling Sierra