I don't understand nursing for comfort??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
I don't understand nursing for comfort??
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Fri, 10-24-2003 - 11:52am
I've seen it said here from some bf'ers that they nurse their children for comfort. What I don't understand is let's say a child is having a "meltdown", HOW do you get the child to nurse for comfort?? Seriously, If he/she is having a tantrum and is obviously not being cooperative HOW can you nurse him/her? Do you have to forcibly take them to the breast??

I'm just trying to understand. Also, doesn't it send the message that food=comfort? As a ff'er I would NEVER give my child a bottle or even food (if they were older) to calm them down. Hugs, holding them, and talking gently to them or moving them to another room is something I would do.

Jeanie

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Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:21pm

It;s not so difficult for me to see it.


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:29pm
Jeanie,

have you ever BF a baby? If so..for long enough to establish a nursing relationship. Usually at least 2 mo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:29pm
But I don't see how you can get a child to nurse if they're having a tantrum? Because obviously they're not still and in order to nurse they need to be somewhat still. I guess I'm mostly asking about older kids here-over age 2 (?)

I can see/understand a baby sucking for comfort.

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:32pm
I don't believe you answered my question.

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Avatar for joolsplus2
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:46pm

Well, for "comfort" isn't necessarily to "stop a meltdown in action"...For instance, I took my DS to Gymboree at about 17 months.

Julie

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Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:49pm

I guess it depends on your definition of "tantrum."


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:57pm
Ok, an obviously distraught child works as a definition for me. I'm just stuck on HOW can you get a child to nurse if they're distraught? Do you see what I'm trying to say?

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Avatar for joolsplus2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 1:05pm
Usually they just tug at your shirt...and make it clear that's what they want. If you try to force them, they bite you!

Julie


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Julie

9 out of 10 carseats are installed wrong.  Could yours be?

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 1:05pm

Yes, I understand.


I don't know.....but for me and my children, whenever they are obviously distraught and either tantruming or on their way, I ask if they need a hug??


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 2:52pm
I haven't read the other replies yet, so maybe this has been covered.

DD has never fought nursing when she has a tantrum. She willingly comes to me to nurse. She immediately stops crying as soon as she latches on. After nursing for a few minutes, her tantrum is gone. This nursing is more about comfort, and not about food. To me, nursing is a better term than bf'ing. Comfort goes along with getting food. It is about being held by mom. I'm sure it can be duplicated as Misty has pointed out. However, I believe the crying stops quicker with nursing.

As for teaching the child bad habits, IMO it is different than trying to use solid food for comfort. Usually you are eating by yourself with solid food. With nursing, you are being held by mom.

Comfort sucking usually refers to a light flutter sucking that the baby does after they are finished eating. It is the same principle as a baby sucking on a pacifier. Some bf'ing mothers use pacifiers because they don't like to spend a lot of time in comfort sucking. My dd only comfort sucked right before she fell asleep. She never used a pacifier, so she comfort sucked for a much shorter period of time than most kids do with pacifiers. I think that sucking needs vary with the child. I've heard of ff'ed children never using a pacifier.

Edited to add: I've read the other responses. You don't have to force them, they WANT to nurse. That has been my experience and the experience of my friends. Now, I'm sure there have been some kids that have refused to nurse. You just offer, you never force. But from what I understand, they rarely refuse. As Christine pointed out, it doesn't work as well after 2 years of age. When they are tantruming because they can't handle their emotions, nursing works really well. But when they get older and start throwing fits because they don't get their way, then it doesn't work as well.

Sherry


Edited 10/24/2003 2:58:40 PM ET by sherryg402000

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