If you could...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
If you could...
14
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 5:48pm

If you could either breastfeed OR be pregnant with your child, but not both, which would you prefer? For purposes of debate, the child would be yours biologicallly. Is it more important to you to have the opportunity to breastfeed or to be pregnant with a child?

Why do you think you might prefer one over the other?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 6:43pm

I never enjoyed pregnancy very much at all. I did not get morning sickness, but I just constantly felt tired, and overwhelmed, especially in the lasst half of it. I cannot say I was one of those mothers who 'glows' in pregnancy.

As for breastfeeding, I loved it. The start was difficult with each baby, but after that, I loved being with my babies, feeding and nurturing and bonding with them. It is a memory that has a very special place in my life. As they got older, I know they loved that time as well.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 10:37pm

Given that as my only choice, and the fact I have had 11 losses, I would trade the pregnancy to be able to hold and BF my baby. I wanted so much to experience another pregnancy, but since I wasn't successful, I would still have loved to have a baby to BF, even ab baby that was not mine biologically.

BFing is so important to me, health-wise, allergy-wise, bond-wise - so I would give up the short-term pregnancy (if I had to) for the years of BFing that I would love to be able to experience again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 12:33pm

I think there are a few ways to think about this question:

1.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 2:32pm
jessica765 wrote:

I'm not sure what, if any, benefits there are to the child from being raised and carried by the same person.

I think there are advantages to a child being carried and raised by the same person. I recall reading about them while we were still TTCing and considering our options. I put them aside because those who use donor egg, adopt or use surrogates shouted me down - but the reasons at the time seemed pretty compelling to me.

Of course, that does not mean that donor egg, adoption and surrogates aren't a good option - it's just that what i read gave me real pause. I might look them up again - if I find the time. Just not sure I am up to going back there yet...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 6:38pm

That would be interesting to read, Catherine.

Teresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 6:48pm

You have given a very long thoughtful answer. Thanks. I found it interesting to read your point of view.

I can agree that pregnancy never gave me too many warm feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 2:03am
Since you don't specify how this baby would be born, I going to assume that it would be via a method that posed no additional health risks or any other negative other then possibly being deprived the experience of pregnancy which not everyone sees as a negative. If that is the case, then I would easily take being able to BF over experiencing PG as BF'ing has significant health benefits and I enjoyed it much more then PG, though I didn't exactly hate being PG.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 12:02pm

I couldn't agree with you more....i thought I'd follow your outline to discuss my points of view on this question:

1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 8:43am

Though I feel like my DD has been more ill than I would have expected given she's breastfed....I guess I can assume she would have been more sick had

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 10:54am

Let me start by saying I loved being pregnant! Sure, throwing up several times a week for 9 months (every day for 6 months) wasn't fun, I really had an easy time of it. I had a easy, fast labor.

Breastfeeding was NOT easy for us. I EPed for the first month, got him back to the breast using a nipple shield. Between 2 months and 4 months he only gained 7 oz. At my 8-5 job, I had to pump 5x a day (every 2 hours for 25 minutes). We had to supplement with some formula. Family said I was being selfish because I wouldn't share feedings. Even when I EPed, only DH or I gave bottles. We had thrush. Even at 16 months, DS doesn't have a great latch.

That said, I would much rather breastfeed. I have a strong desire to adopt, and will definitely consider adoptive breastfeeding depending on the age of the child. I can't imagine giving up the closeness I feel with DS, and the ease of nursing him. W&P adds in a new layer, but for me, it's worth it.

by sara photo sigbysara.jpg

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