I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
753
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:45pm

Maybe I'm having a bad day, but I really just don't get the, "Happy Mommy=Happy Baby" mentality when someone throws it out there in defense of formula feeding. Where exactly can I get one of these babies who is automatically happy because I am? Can I trade mine in for that model? LOL (just kidding, of course). I am just really tired of reading that and hearing that.


Sorry, just had to vent. I was feeling left out of the monster threads :)

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:04pm
Again, ITA Gina. But for some reason it's ok for you to say these things b/c you are a parent, and I am not allowed to b/c I'm not...yet.
  ~~~Rachael wife to Mike~~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:44pm
NP Holly. It's not like we're both not boggled down with school or anything..



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:48pm

I'm sorry the thread made you upset, and sorry to hear about your friend. Glad you are back, though. How did finals go? Didn't you have them this week???>>>>

Actually, and this is awesome news, I don't really have any finals. One class I get to skip the final b/c my grade is an A and the final is optional in that case, one class I just have to give a three minute speech, one class no final, one class just a document for office 2007, and then a 15 page ethics paper for the last class. I haven't started it yet, it's due tuesday! but, it's my only work and after tuesday I am free for four glorious weeks! Thank you for asking :D

And the thread didn't erally upset me as much as I just let myself get too sensitive. I do that sometimes.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:50pm

Taking over actual feedings...maybe not. But many cultures don't have these little nuclear families like we do in the US. They live with older relatives, aunts, and sisters, and other family who DO help with the babies. I had to do a case study for a psych class where I pretty much had to interview a woman from Korea about her childhood. She lived with her parents and her grandmother, and it was the grandmother's *job* to raise the kids!!! I know that isn't plausible in our society today, but I really think we do things kind of backwards and make life harder on ourselves for the sake of autonomy and independence, KWIM???>>>>

Oh I totally agree! In the case of the poster's sister, I still think it's against nature, but I wouldn't object to a setup where grandparents are around often to help with cleaning and child rearing while mom takes a nap or a breather. I am totally with you. :D




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:53pm

I wish I could co-sleep, but I know I can't do it safely. I can't sleep without having something heavy on top of me (get yer mind out of the gutter! I mean a BLANKET LOL) and lots of pillows, plus I have a pillowtop mattress. I actually get more sleep by getting up and nursing Ali in her room in a rocker, or in the living room, although I can't do that right now because the lights on the Christmas tree will wake her up and fascinate her. ;-)>>>

LOL. Josie isn't into the tree at all, to my surprise! My theory is really that the best sleeping arrangement is where everyone gets the most sleep without fussing. For some babies, cosleeping just doesn't work! I am not wanting to say that all people should try it. :D If you know you need your pillows and mattress and all that, it is definitely more responsible to do what you're doing! For myself, I can barely make it out of bed, let alone across a room or across a house in the middle of the night so cosleeping is just the most viable!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 5:56pm

Again, ITA Gina. But for some reason it's ok for you to say these things b/c you are a parent, and I am not allowed to b/c I'm not...yet. If you want to be a mother, you signed up for 24/7 care IMO.>>>

Well Rachel, I think most people here find your input valuable whether you are a parent or not. There are definitely things you just can't know or understand until you are a parent, but I don't think that means you can't talk about it...and I do agree that parenting is 24/7, at least in our society. Help, when it is available, is wonderful, but I don't know if it I agree that is should be expected? I don't know, it's sticky.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 6:51pm

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend! :(

I guess my opinion is different because I FF and so my fiance was very active with our daughter when it came to the feedings. However I did not choose FF so I could have help, it was a perk though I have to admit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 6:51pm
Thanks Gina.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 6:56pm
I guess maybe since we have never BF we don't get that? I've decided to BF my next and am hoping to god I can pump so I CAN get a break, alone, once in awhile. I don't have the same idea as you that mom has to be there 24/7. If someone offers help I am taking it!!! I agree with the entitlement thing though, I don't think I'm entitled, but usually ppl do offer, especially my fiance, and so why would I say no?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 6:58pm

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