I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
753
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:45pm

Maybe I'm having a bad day, but I really just don't get the, "Happy Mommy=Happy Baby" mentality when someone throws it out there in defense of formula feeding. Where exactly can I get one of these babies who is automatically happy because I am? Can I trade mine in for that model? LOL (just kidding, of course). I am just really tired of reading that and hearing that.


Sorry, just had to vent. I was feeling left out of the monster threads :)

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 2:07pm

I definitely think Millie (the dog) is gonna have to find a way to entertain herself when we have kids haha. At the very

  ~~~Rachael wife to Mike~~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 2:16pm

I'm glad you're here too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:37pm
I've meant to apply, but life is too busy for ANOTHER board. Especially that one. I'd be TOS'ed to heck and back, likely.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:38pm

Although SO doesn't have a job that is as likely to cause grave danger/harm as your DH if he's sleep deprived, for my personal sanity I don't like him being at work without being rested.


I agree... I work 4 days a week but sometimes I still would rather ME get up with the baby, than dh (although he does get up with Liv, because usually it is just to the potty and back to bed and he will fall back to sleep). But, he is a mechanic and if he is really tired he could seriously screw up a car and create a dangerous situation for himself or the customer! I sit in an office most of the time, or talk to high school students... Not too much I can screw up, there! Now, on the weekends is maybe a different story. If I have been up a lot at night with the baby, I kind of expect dh to take him in the morning and let me get some sleep!

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:38pm
Fair enough.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:43pm

Hmm. I was thinking about military moms, and single moms too. And this is what I've come up with today:

If you don't have another choice, you suck it up and do it. And most moms who have to do that aren't horrible and aren't falling apart. Some are! But some people are going to be that way no matter what, right? Some people do have the option of more help but still do it themselves. I don't think that makes you a martyr at all.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:46pm

ITA with you and Elissa. I still do most of the nighttime parenting most of which for the reasons you mentioned. I never really saw a reason for waking DH at night, esp. since he has a very demanding job. Falling asleep at his job would mean getting injured or fired (one time he chopped of the tip of his finger while cutting wire!) So no, I wouldn't wake him unless I *really* needed him. Now sometimes he does get up now to get Alaya if she crys at night (she sleeps half the night in her crib), but thats only b/c he is closest to the monitor and hears her first (sometimes I'm KO, lol).>>>

Jack does not work demanding jobs in that sense, but he is on his feet 12 hours a day, and he works two jobs. So I've kind of done the bulk of nighttime parenting by default - especially when we was working 3pm-6am days. And it was hard hard hard. But after a few weeks, it got easier, and now it isn't really bad at all. If she's really cranky and I'm really miffed, he'll take her off my hands which is great, it really is. But I do most of the work because he's not here. Even when he is off for a few days, I'm so used to it, and so is she, that we don't change it up. He helps out by being available when I'm at the breaking point. Which is my own fault because I think if I were still seeing my psychologist and maybe taking meds, that breaking point would come a lot harder than it does now.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:47pm

Then again, we got pregnant 6 months after we started dating so for quite a while, we weren't sure what exactly we were planning to do with anything.>>>

Yeah, that.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 3:50pm

I'm really not trying to be snarky, but I'm genuinely curious. If a dad is very interested in helping with his kids in the middle of the night, shouldn't he be allowed to, regardless of the daytime arrangement? I usually do tell him to go back to bed, but he doesn't usually listen, LOL. And this isn't at all to say that other dads are "bad parents" because they don't do it, BTW. Every family has to do what works well for them. But if a dad really *wants* to be doing these things, is it unreasonable or inappropriate that Mom "lets" him?>>>

Oh honey. if Dad WANTS to help, by all means let him! I think maybe Elissa is referring to the idea that Dad is expected to? I don't really know. But my god if Jack ever waltzes in and says "here, let me"...I usually do (we won't count last night because she has her first cold and I knew she was just cranky and all she wanted was my boob. he doesn't have a boob, so...)




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 4:17pm

I'm glad you aren't going anywhere.

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