I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
753
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:45pm

Maybe I'm having a bad day, but I really just don't get the, "Happy Mommy=Happy Baby" mentality when someone throws it out there in defense of formula feeding. Where exactly can I get one of these babies who is automatically happy because I am? Can I trade mine in for that model? LOL (just kidding, of course). I am just really tired of reading that and hearing that.


Sorry, just had to vent. I was feeling left out of the monster threads :)

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 4:21pm

I'm much better there now that one member is on ignore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 4:26pm

*hugs*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 4:27pm

Yes, I was talking about the expectation, and the "get up now damnit" line of posting rather than the "here, let me" fathers.


Elissa


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 4:38pm

I'm so glad you don't have any actual finals. YAY!!! You know, I have been out of college for 3 years and I still occasionally have dreams where I am in college and late to a final, or I just found out I have a final for a class I hadn't attended all semester!?! It is so bizarre!!!


Anyhoo, what are you planning on doing with your psych degree??? Are you thinking of counseling? I only ask because I think there are a shortage of psychologists trained in issues dealing with pregnancy. I myself think I want to be a counselor focusing on helping women who have had traumatic birth experiences, as well as women dealing with depression during or after pregnancy. I think there is a huge gap that needs to be filled there (beyond, the OB saying, "Oh, you are depressed? Well, here I'll write you a script for something!" gag! sorry, that is a debate for a different board, I guess!)

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:00pm

<>


Exactly! Sometimes it's hard to sit back and listen to those who say "I just couldn't do without... (whatever)", and



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:23pm

My current trade off for not having that kind of time off (she doesn't sleep normal hours by any means) is that I get 12 hours straight to sleep if I want to. Since she doesn't nap anymore, she sleeps 10-14 hours at a stretch once she's down for the night. At this moment, I need the extra sleep more than I need the break, KWIM? She plays by herself so much and is usually really good when I need to get something done, that I don't stress over alone time. If I was suddenly forced to be awake after 6 hours (I sleep so much when I'm pregnant it's not even funny) I would be insane. I don't mind her climbing my leg while I'm trying to mop. :-)>>>

Are our girls long lost twins? Josie by no means sleep normal hours, but she definitely sleep12-14 hours at a stretch. Sometimes people look like they're going to convulse when I tell them when she goes to bed on a normal night...but I get the trade off later in the day - We may be up late, but after I get up for the day, she's down for 3-4 hours still. It's pretty nice.

Josie also plays alone pretty happily and when she's not, I just throw her on my back in the wrap. Problemo solved. :D




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:27pm

The difference is, either parent can do things as they get older, only I could nurse her as a newborn. >>>

That's all I was saying. That mothers, biologically, are the only ones responsible for feeding the baby, so I think it is unrealistic to expect that fathers take part in night time feeding. I know some people don't agree and I'm not here to convince them otherwise.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:37pm

I think I must have glossed over the part about your friend, I'm so so sorry for your loss :( (((HUGS)))>>>

Thanks Rachel. :D

<<>>

I am a parent and I still stay out of certain parenting issues...especially on the boards.

<>

Maybe it is just because I'm a total bear when I get woken up, but I agree with you. I've been doing the roll-latch one two for almost eleven months now and I just can't imagine it another way right now.

<<>>

I agree with you, actually. Despite my inclination towards equal partnerships, I have to admit that the days where I work all day are especially hard once I get home and have a baby to take care of. So I tend to believe that the breadwinner does get off the hook with parenting duties, to a degree.

<<< Maybe I'm too traditional in this respect, but I really think that if you want to be a mother than this stuff, while not easy-don't get me wrong, is natural. I mean we are built to do this.>>>

I am far from traditional but if that is what this attitude is, I guess I get a new title too.

<<< Barring circumstances like PPD or serious recovery after birth, it really is my JOB to feed the baby.>>>

This is what I've been trying to say. It is a mothers job to feed the baby. Science has given us an alternative to nature, but that doesn't change the fundamental biology of it all. It is moms job. That's why we have milk. It is simple.

<<< If I wanted to get a solid 8 hours of sleep every night, I wouldn't become a mother, simple as that. So to me, switching to formula to get help with nighttime feedings isn't something I would ever consider, regardless of my "happiness" during the night.>>>

This is how I feel too.

<<>>

You're talking to the queen of stubborn here. I have managed to keep MOST of what I'd wanted. Some things we ended up doing differently for sure (like...I said she'd never waer pink..sigh) LOL. But the things that were really important to me, we were able to stick to (exclusively BF for 9 months, no jarred foods, no sugars, no CIO, etc). I will admit that she's watched some television, inadvertently. I just don't have the energy to live up to all my standards. But the feeding and sleeping ones were really important, and I tried harder at those.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:40pm

You know after the "beating" I thought I wouldn't come back here at all. I was so upset that my opinion was bashed just because I'm not a mother even though many other people were saying the same thing. I'm glad I came back to read that someone had pointed out the double standard. Thank you!!>>>

Let me tell ya Rachel, I've endured a few of those sorts of reactions on a few different boards myself. Over time, you'll learn to just take it in stride and not get so upset. The first time it happened to me, on my PG, I thought the world was gonna end, LOL. Now, I will stay away from a thread for a few days until I know I'm ready to deal with it. Ya gotta remember a lot of this stuff is said quickly or in the heat of the moment and sometimes we say things we don't mean, even online. It's all part of communication - things don't always get expressed how they are meant or taken how they are meant. Don't leave over something like that. Just take a break if you have to. Your skin needs the time to grow anyhow, hehe




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:44pm

Because I remember being offended when my veterinarian offered sympathy to my cat about her life changing dramatically while I was pregnant. I was quite, quite certain how it would be for our cat and I was quite, quite incorrect! ^_^

>>>>>>

Hahahahaha. My cats loved me being pregnant, they laid out on my belly and slept all day with me. But once Josie was here, I have to admit, they definitely got the back burner treatment. We lost one this summer, but the little sister is still around and she is now Josie's best friend. ^_^




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