I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
753
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:45pm

Maybe I'm having a bad day, but I really just don't get the, "Happy Mommy=Happy Baby" mentality when someone throws it out there in defense of formula feeding. Where exactly can I get one of these babies who is automatically happy because I am? Can I trade mine in for that model? LOL (just kidding, of course). I am just really tired of reading that and hearing that.


Sorry, just had to vent. I was feeling left out of the monster threads :)

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:52pm

*hugs* OT but did you ever find a mental health clinic or anything like that?

OnT Yeah, those early in the relationship oops babies make things a little, interesting. But obviously they can work out well too...>>>

TBCH, I never looked. I have just been so busy with school and people dying and Jack and just life I didn't think about it that much. I'm a stubborn hard@$$ sometimes and have just been telling myself "ah you'll get through it". Hello, self fulfilling prophecy anyone? But tuesday is my last day of school and I'm supposed to meet with the MW next week to get Mirena out, so I am going to ask for help then. It's easier talking to someone I alreayd know.

And yeah, the oops baby. Man. It threw a huge blow into my plans, but I'm realizing I can still do a lot of what I had wanted before. Especially now that she's older and less demanding, I am starting to feel more sane and hopeful. And I'm glad yours worked out so well. :D




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 5:56pm

I'm so glad you don't have any actual finals. YAY!!! You know, I have been out of college for 3 years and I still occasionally have dreams where I am in college and late to a final, or I just found out I have a final for a class I hadn't attended all semester!?! It is so bizarre!!!>>>

Bwahahaha. I can totally see this happening to me!

<<>

Well, I am flip flopping back and forth between PP counseling (I see the same need you do, and being personally affected, I feel like helping out) and a major called Social Justice. I am also an English major, because I have a huge passion and propensity for literature and persuasive writing. I've thought about Social Justice because it would allow me to take on positions with non profit orgs or as a lobbyist for causes I am passionate about. I love psychology but sometimes I worry that I can't afford the time investment it takes to become one, you know?

<<>>

I am totally with you here. As someone who was pulled back from the ledge through talk therapy alone, I think there is a huge need for willing counselors to specialize in treating women wiht these problems. Men too, honestly. And which board would that be a good topic for, because I'm interested in public opinion on the matter.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:00pm

Exactly! Sometimes it's hard to sit back and listen to those who say "I just couldn't do without... (whatever)", and know that you, YOURSELF, do without... (whatever) every SINGLE day and survive just fine. No, it's not easy, and I guess not everyone could - but most of us do what we have to do, when there is no other choice.>>

Mmhmm. I guess I'm just bitter. I can admit it. But I get really defensive when I talk to people who say this about certain things. I know it isn't fair and it's really judgmental, but I'm not trying to be perfect here. You know when my BFF tells me she is swarmed in debt and then goes out and buys and SUV and I'm telling her "Trade that puppy in for something cheap and with good gas" and she's like "But I just can't live without it." mmkay.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:07pm

Oh, I have been know to be a bit bitter myself at times. When my friend went on and on about how she had to spend all day at a china warehouse, hunting for the perfect match to her china pattern, and just how frustrating it was not to have it all match - I pointed to the groceries I was placing on the check-out belt and said, "Oh, I know what you mean, I like it that all my groceries match", since they were all no-name brand and all yellow labeled.


Or when she would complain to me she was so poor she couldn't even afford to stop for a coffee when she was out somedays, as I wondered how I was going to afford to feed my boys that week...



~*~ Catherine, "Internet Research Specialist" ;)




No matter what decision you make in your life, or your child's life - there will always be someone just waiting to tell you what a stupid idiot you are for doing so...

Some of my blogs:
Life Begins... (miscarriage)
Frugal Baby Tips
Frugal Freebies
Pregnancy Stories By Age - 43-56+yrs old!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:20pm

>>You know after the "beating" I thought I wouldn't come back here at all. I was so upset that my opinion was bashed just because I'm not a mother even though many other people were saying the same thing. I'm glad I came back to read that someone had pointed out the double standard. Thank you!!<<

I may have participated in the "beating" inadvertently. I vaguely remember posting a terse comment like "you don't have kids yet?" or something like that. I don't recall getting a response, so I didn't follow up with what I wanted to say. Actually, the comment was short, because I thought I was mistaken.

If so, my sincere apologies now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:38pm


You're making sense -- I wasn't sure if that was what you meant or that you would take on the role of primary caregiver for all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:53pm


LOL, as my mother would say, I'm afraid she's going to live!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 6:58pm

Oh my, YIKES! That's a terrible thing to happen while walking the dog! How scary! Millie is a puller too, but with a prong collar she is ok. DH does the cat litter, and I'm slowly getting him to do feedings too (LOL he sounds like a child!) Our dog is raw fed, so he has some confidence issues with that since I'm the one who started it and maintains a balanced diet for her. So he's learning. He wonders why the dog never listens to him, and I'm like she's not stupid-she knows where the food comes from haha. Hopefully by the time we have a baby he will be super furkid dad! :P

<>

Tee hee! We are going through this now, only I'm calling it marriage weight. It seems I am the only one interested in maintaining/losing weight! Our dog doesn't have a problem, but she's a good running partner to DH.


  ~~~Rachael wife to Mike~~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 7:03pm

As long as you're still going to talk to someone, it doesn't matter if you're being stubborn and busy and waiting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 7:04pm

<<>>

Thanks for your post, Gina. I wasn't totally sure what Elissa meant at first, but that's due in part to the fact that I had skimmed a lot of the thread and didn't recall seeing the posts she was referring to. I understood it better after we talked more.

<<>>

Sorry she's sick. :O( ITA, though. My DH isn't overly helpful by any means, but when it seems like a good idea to have him help out, I'm usually very agreeable to the idea. Obviously, feeding is out of the question, and that's usually what my babies have wanted in the night. Neither one ever went back to sleep in the MOTN because someone rocked or sang to them. If they did, DH would have been more than welcome to do it more often, LOL. I think it's nice when he offers, but even he knows that his efforts are very likely to be futile. ;O)

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