Inappropriate places to BFIP??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Inappropriate places to BFIP??
1096
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 10:48am

Is there anywhere you feel it is completely inappropriate to nurse in public?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 6:53pm
Their potential discomfort about my discretely nursing my baby during dinner doesn't take precidence over my child's needs, or my special time with my spouse, family, or friends visiting at a restaurant over dinner. If they don't like it, they don't have to stare. It's not like I'm stripping off my shirt and dancing around the room shoving my breast with my baby attached up in their faces. There's something called TOLERANCE, and I will not bend over backwards and live a life of secusion so that nobody's comfort levels regarding the healthiest and most natural way of feeding an infant aren't challenged. If that makes me inconsiderate, SO BE IT.

-Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:00pm
Hmmm...do you have any religious jewerly? Say, a cross pendant? Someone who doesn't share your beliefs may be uncomfortable with your necklace...they may not like it...they may even be offended. So, should you refrain from wearing religious jewerly or clothing in public? Some people are even against showing your hair, wearing make-up, etc...Should you refrain doing those things too because someone, somewhere might be offended? Of course not. When it comes to breastfeeding, we're talking about feeding a baby. We're talking about meeting a child's NEEDS for nurishment. It can be done discretely, with respect for those nearby who might be uncomfortable/offended by seeing flesh. And, using a blanket in a restaurant is being as respectful/considerate as is reasonable, IMO.

-Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:48pm
Oh Thank you Vicki- i suppose sometimes i am still in complete shock - she truly was my best freind. Some days are worse than others. It just breaks my heart to know i can never see her smile, listen to her voice (i used to call her like 4X a day! lol) & worse, I am so afraid my dd will not remember her. Breaks my heart. & i am so sory about the loss of your Dad as well. Someone made me so sad the otehr day, when they heard I had lost my mom, they were trying to be nice but she said "Oh, you are too young (36) to be without your mom". & i thought "you are So right". I really expected 20 more years, at LEAST. But life does go on, & for you & I our children will bring us confort & great joy - & i truly belevie that my mom can "see & hear" all that goes on in our lives. Hugs, R~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:56pm
So, if someone was uncomfortable or offended with your bottlefeeding, you would "laugh" and continue feeding your baby...but a woman who breastfeeds and doesn't consider it the least bit offensive is rude and uncurteous if she does the same thing? Sounds like a double-standard to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 8:08pm
I don't feed my baby EBM, but from what I understand it can sit at room temperature for many hours and still be safely fed to baby. The reason EBM feeding moms sometimes carry coolers is when they are transporting milk to and from work that they are not planning on feeding baby right away. -Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 8:29pm
LOL! I spent all afternoon reading through this thread, and responding to many of the posts, and I was shocked to see they all posted one right after another. I've had time on my hands today, HUH? LOL. But it's been a very interesting thread. ITA with you about being confused. FF often try to argue that FF and BF provide the same level of bonding, but I don't believe it. BF provides more intimate, skin-to-skin, 1:1 contact with Momma. FF spend less time skin-to-skin with their babies, and they don't *need* to snuggle close like a BF mom and baby need to. Also, anyone can FF a child. But only Mom can provide the breast. It's hard to imagine not nursing. -Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 9:32pm
<>


Do you realize that there are other ways to "snuggle close" and get skin to skin contact that don't involve feeding? 90% of the time a bottle is given in the same position a breast is given. Do you honestly think that the occasional bottle that's not give in the arm cradle position is going to change ANYTHING, let alone put the bond at a different level?

<>

Ok now I get it. That statement explains your egotistical opinion on the bonding issue. Only YOU can do it...YOU are very important...YOU are irreplacable. Sure, your husband is bonded to his kids, but since ONLY YOU could feed them your bond is at a "different level" than his. And since my husband and my mother and mother in law shared in the feeding of my children now and then, your bond is also at a different level than mine.

IMO, the fact that you have even thought such a thing speaks volumes to me about your need to validate your importance and self worth as a mother. Why else would you even be thinking about your 'level of bonding' versus some other mother's level? Me personally, I am confidant enough that the bonds I have with my children are rock solid that I could care less about comparing it to anyone elses "level". IMO, when a person feels a need to place values on something as personal and complex as the mother/child bond, than that person has issues with their own self esteem/self worth. Saying you've bonded at a different level with your children because you BF them makes you feel better about yourself...but when you really think about it, it's a ridiculously generalized, totally unsupported claim. You have absolutely know way of knowing what level any other woman's bond is at with her children, since bonding with a baby involves so much more than feeding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 9:59pm
right. because mom and baby can ONLY snuggle close when bf. that is just SO, SO wrong.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 10:13pm
I am just reading though the posts in this thread and have a bunch more to get though so not sure if anyone else offered but if not you can email the picture to me at addicted2fun2@hotmail.com and I will post it for you. Please just put ivillage or your screen name so I know its ok to open =)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 10:15pm


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