Is it sooooo wrong to be selfish?

Avatar for all_girls4me
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Is it sooooo wrong to be selfish?
203
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 10:50am
I BF all 3 of my kids for about month during the day,but always FF during the night, even in the hospital. In my opinion, FF was way better for me than BF. I just didn't like it. I also think that the formula is perfectly fine, and all 3 of my kids are hardly ever sick, and are doing great. So why do I get the feeling around BF moms that I did the wrong thing? For me it was right. They seem to have a hard time accepting the fact that I simply didn't like BF.

Ilka and "the girls"



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 11:42am
I don't see it as being selfish but as knowing what's right for YOU and your family. All 3 of my kids were/are ff from day one and each one of them are doing well and thriving.

I may be wrong, but I get the feeling of a "superior" attitude in regards to bf'ing. Yes, breast is best since it's tailored to fit the individual baby, but formula is not "junk food". I think alot of bf'ers think formula is vastly inferior (there's that word again!) to bm.

Just my take!

Jeanie

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Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:01pm

What's so wrong about being selfish once in a while??


~christine~

Avatar for kfira71
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:14pm

No, it is not wrong. You did what was best for you and your family, as do other mothers and fathers. Since no one can know but you what was in the best interest of you and your kids, no one has the right, IMO, to call you selfish for your decision to FF.


Since I don't consider breastmilk to be *vastly* superior to formula (or even all that superior at all, except to a slight extent with regards to early immunities), I don't see anything at all selfish about FFing. I think the problem most BFers have with *choosing* to FF (or giving up "too easily" or whatever) is that they *do* see BFing as having a huge impact and formula as being vastly inferior. So to them, choosing formula when you have no medical reason not to BF is just wrong.

~Kim

"Becoming a parent means agreeing to allow your heart to go walking around outside of your body."

Avatar for all_girls4me
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:41pm
I agree with you. To me FF is not inferior either. So I don't have a problem with it. And yes, most BF mothers think that the ONLY right thing is to BF, and I just don't agree. Whatever fits you and your lifestyle is right for you. And yes, BF could be considered selfish too.

Ilka



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Registered: 05-23-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:50pm
You have to what best for you, before you can take care of your children.

Trish

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:50pm
I have never thought of breastfeeding as a selfish choice since it is known to be the best choice for babies. How do you think breastfeeding can be a selfish choice?~Lisa
Avatar for all_girls4me
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 1:00pm
I think some women like the fact that they are the only ones to be able to feed the baby. They like the fact that nobody else can be involved. I'm not saying that all BF moms are like that, but I've met a couple. And I didn't quite understand that. They are the same women that are proud of the fact that their kids don't wanna go to anybody else but them, including DAD. I think it's a very small percentage, but I think it's out there.

Ilka



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Wed, 11-05-2003 - 1:04pm
Was that the only reason they choose to breastfeed? I can't imagine that would be the only reason someone would choose breastfeeding, that reasoning seems strange to me.~Lisa
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 1:10pm
Yes, I agree with you. Some (not ALL) bf'ers would rather have their baby depend on them completely for nourishment and comfort (like comfort nursing).

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 1:14pm
Believe it or not but that was the sole reason that my now ex SIL chose to breastfeed. Keep it mind though that she's the same person who told me before she became pg with my nephew that after she had her next baby that she would divorce my brother. She is a very odd girl. I questioned her about it at the time and asked her "why on earth would you bring another child into the world when you know for sure your marriage is not stable?" Her answer: "Because I have always wanted two children and I don't want *E* to be an only child".

Sadly she was true to her word, she and my brother are in the process of a divorce. I have to say though that I think people like her are incredibly rare! Thank goodness for that.

Judi


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