Is it wrong to state about a new mom "I hope she is breastfeedng"?

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Registered: 05-20-2008
Is it wrong to state about a new mom "I hope she is breastfeedng"?
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Sun, 07-17-2011 - 1:07pm

I was reading article about Kate Hudson having just given birth the her new baby and some woman stated in the comment section about how they hoped Kate was breastfeeding the new baby. In response another woman said "People are SOOOOO judgmental! Who cares if she breastfeed! It's HER choice and she probably has a good reason if she is not....".

Now why is it wrong to hope that another mom is BF'ing (assuming there is not reason she can't) and why is it that some people seem to care so much about whether others care about whether someone is BF'ing?  I can understand that it's ultimately Kate's and any other mother's right how she feeds her baby but I don't see why that means a BF advocate shouldn't be allowed to hope that another mother is BF'ing whether it be a celeb, co-worker, acquaintance, stranger or some relative. Obviously, under certain circumstances it would be rude to confront here about your desire for her to BF but merely hoping the mom or mom-to-be is or will be BF'ing doesn't seem wrong to me. It doesn't prevent her from choosing to FF, if she desires, nor does it negatively effect her if she ends up not being able to BF for some reason. Taking the example of Kate Hudson and whether she will or will not BF her new baby, given that she BF'd her first child, Ryder, I would guess she will likely BF this baby too. Even if for some reason she can't BF for whatever reason, I don't see how any person hoping she is BF'ing negatively effects Kate or anyone else for that matter.I wonder if some people just don't see the importance of BF'ing health-wise so they don't see why BF advocates would or should care about how another mothers/mother-to-be is or will feed their baby. Maybe some simply don't understand that we believe that FF'ing has significant health risks and as such we care because we have a general concern for the health of babies in general. I also wonder if this person might have FF'd her own child(ren)and has some unresolved issue regarding her choice to FF.

So what do you all think it of this woman's "People are SOOOOO judgmental! Who cares if she breastfeed!..." comment?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
I certainly don't think that there is anything wrong about hoping someone will bf. Especially when it's a celebrity whose visibility may positively affect societal views on BF.

I do think that there are places where *expressing* that hope might be less favorably received, though.

In this case, though, it doesn't sound like it's Kate who is being judged, but the second poster who is *feeling* judged. Which is IMO pretty lame. How on earth could the first poster know about the second posters feeding habits, and why should she care?

You know what? General statements about BF, or about the risks of FF, do NOT constitute judgements or criticisms about individuals and their feeding choices.

 


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Registered: 03-16-2010
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Registered: 06-04-2004
gespenst wrote:
I certainly don't think that there is anything wrong about hoping someone will bf. Especially when it's a celebrity whose visibility may positively affect societal views on BF.

I do think that there are places where *expressing* that hope might be less favorably received, though.

In this case, though, it doesn't sound like it's Kate who is being judged, but the second poster who is *feeling* judged. Which is IMO pretty lame. How on earth could the first poster know about the second posters feeding habits, and why should she care?

You know what? General statements about BF, or about the risks of FF, do NOT constitute judgements or criticisms about individuals and their feeding choices.

ITA. I hope I live long enough to see open discourse on this topic become a safe, normal and rational part of life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
gespenst wrote:
I certainly don't think that there is anything wrong about hoping someone will bf. Especially when it's a celebrity whose visibility may positively affect societal views on BF.

I do think that there are places where *expressing* that hope might be less favorably received, though.

In this case, though, it doesn't sound like it's Kate who is being judged, but the second poster who is *feeling* judged. Which is IMO pretty lame. How on earth could the first poster know about the second posters feeding habits, and why should she care?

You know what? General statements about BF, or about the risks of FF, do NOT constitute judgements or criticisms about individuals and their feeding choices.

Well, general statements about BF are not really the issue here--"I hope she is breastfeeding" is not a general statement about BF or the risks of FFing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
gespenst wrote:
I certainly don't think that there is anything wrong about hoping someone will bf. Especially when it's a celebrity whose visibility may positively affect societal views on BF.

I do think that there are places where *expressing* that hope might be less favorably received, though.

In this case, though, it doesn't sound like it's Kate who is being judged, but the second poster who is *feeling* judged. Which is IMO pretty lame. How on earth could the first poster know about the second posters feeding habits, and why should she care?

You know what? General statements about BF, or about the risks of FF, do NOT constitute judgements or criticisms about individuals and their feeding choices.

ITA!

Kevali


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Registered: 05-20-2008
jessica765 wrote:

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Registered: 07-24-1997

Is it *wrong*?

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Registered: 03-16-2010
charleen2008 wrote:

I can understand that in certain contexts, say a group of mothers getting together where the topic of BF'ing is not normally brought up and where some of the mothers may not have BF'd their own children could cause some unnecessary friction. But I don't think someone saying "I hope she breastfeeds." on as a comment to a article about a celebrity mom in the same category. In such an instance, I don't see any justifiable reason for any FF'rs to get upset at the idea of someone else

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
I see the celebrity BFing issue as an opportunity for advocacy. Wisely or not, people follow the example of celebrities, so yes, I actually DO hope that someone like Kate BFs, and that she talks about it.

I really don't see anything off-putting, strange, or socially inept about it. At least nothing more off-putting, strange, or socially inept than the usual internet drivel. I find constant comparisons of BFing to sex, masturbation, urination and defecation, not to mention comparisons of XBF ing moms to perverts or child abusers (standard fare in comment sections of articles about BF) to be FAR more off-putting, strange and utterly socially inept than hoping Kate BFs.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
gespenst wrote:
I see the celebrity BFing issue as an opportunity for advocacy. Wisely or not, people follow the example of celebrities, so yes, I actually DO hope that someone like Kate BFs, and that she talks about it.

I really don't see anything off-putting, strange, or socially inept about it. At least nothing more off-putting, strange, or socially inept than the usual internet drivel. I find constant comparisons of BFing to sex, masturbation, urination and defecation, not to mention comparisons of XBF ing moms to perverts or child abusers (standard fare in comment sections of articles about BF) to be FAR more off-putting, strange and utterly socially inept than hoping Kate BFs.

Exactly! Or the automatic, discouraging suggestions to quit BF'ing whenever any misgivings or difficulties are mentioned, or for that matter, when help is asked for. It never fails: someone will always suggest quitting BF altogether, and it's usually also accompanied by some variant of "Formula is just fine!", or "We were all FF and we turned out great!", or "Happy mom = happy baby!"

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