Let's get things going here, ladies! (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Let's get things going here, ladies! (m)
131
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 5:01pm
How about a simple discussion to get things moving? (Is there such a thing?)

Smokers - should moms who smoke breastfeed their babies? I'm only referring to cigarettes here, not marijuana or other drugs. Is a bf'er who smokes doing more harm to her baby than good?

Michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 12:24pm
Well, you have to admit **some** of your posts can be a little abraisive. I was a little put off when I first started posting on boards where you post and cl. I was stubborn and stuck around and actually like some of your views on things but I think that maybe as a moderator you could be just a wee bit more gentle. (I don't think that ommiting to tell people that "if they don't like living in a free country - leave" would take away from your debates. You are so good at debating that you really don't need to say mean things to get your point across. (I've learned, I used to get a little hot under the collar and I've started really paying attention to what I'm saying. Its hard though)
Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 2:25pm
You're right. BUT....smoking is an *issue* for me. I don't like it and never will. I think all smokers are selfish. Sorry....but I do. If that's offensive, so be it. Smokers should have no rights except that of killing themselves. They can all live in a single room together puffing away as far as I'm concerned....slowly watching each other die. There is NO excuse for anyone *our* age to have started up smoking. Smoking warnings have been around for a long time...as well as study upon study upon bloody study!! There is really no excuse for people to not being able to quit either. There is literally a plethera of information and help out there for people. One just has to look and be dedicated. Period.


You know I like you......I like your feistiness....it reminds me of me, even when you piss me off and disagree with me;)


This is just one of those issues for me. Seriously. There aren't many of them, but the ones I do have.....WHOA!! IMO, smoking sucks and so do the people who do it.


christine


~christine~

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 2:41pm
I think you're missing the point. Your abrasive posts are not limited to the smoking while breastfeeding issue. And whether or not you have an issue with smokers, as one of the leaders of the board, you should practice respect for others. The points you make in your posts would be taken, perhaps even better taken, without the insults. I'm not sure what you think it adds, and I know you don't care what I think, but in my eyes, it diminishes your credibility.

Lora

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 3:58pm
I don't remember posting that they were limited to the bf and smoking issue. There are other issues I have very strong convictions about.

I don't expect you to like it...and truly don't really care. This is the way I am. I call a duck....a duck. Period.


christine


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:11am
I guess I'm just saying that you insulting people who smoke and wishing that they'd shut themselves in a room together and die from smoke inhalation is not the most diplomatic method of moderating a debate board. I have an older sister who smokes and while I think that its a stupid, irresponsible, disrespectful thing to do, I don't wish her dead. Come on now.

You seem to be only able to see the black and white in all kinds of issues. I wish that things were truly black and white but its not. Instead the best we can do is proceed through life with a spirit of acceptence and empathy. You catch more flies with honey and with vinegar and I'm guessing that you haven't converted too many smokers to non smokers.

Hows that for fiestiness. LOL I'm sorry that this became a debate over "debating styles" but the board has been kind of slow lately. (I do think that you are doing a great job as cl and you bring a lot of thought provoking points of view to the table.

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:48am
You're absolutely right. I see black and white on many issues. I'm not always mean. I think my debating or comments goes through changes every so often. Sometimes I am just totally un-negative....and then other times, well.....lol.

Smoking makes me angry. I have no sympathy for those who smoke. My mother smokes..and has smoked like a chimney since 13 or so. She has no desire to quit. I grew up in a household that was engulfed in smoke. I smelled like smoke all the time. I inhaled smoke for nearly 18 years. You know what the chances are of me developing lung cancer or another smoking-related cancer?? I don't want to even think about it. So yah, my attitude stinks. I'm not trying to be diplomatic. If I were....my posts regarding smoking would have been fluffed with such verbage.

My black and white issues?? smoking, spanking, seatbelts, ......I'm sure there are others. I don't accept someone not wearing a seatbelt. I don't accept people hitting children. I don't accept people smoking and endangering the lives of those around them.

Many may not like my attitude....and that's fine. But I would be the first one standing for something I believed in even if standing alone. I would also be the last one standing beside you after everyone else has left. Sure, my attitude sucks sometimes......life sucks sometimes. My attitude comes from being crapped on more than once. My attitude comes from having to fight to get what's right for me and my child. My attitude comes from being lied to, let down, and left alone. My attitude comes from watching people let things happen to them rather than make things happen to them. My attitude also comes from hard work, dedication, and perserverence.

I am the one who says something when noone else has the guts. I am the one who makes the thoughts and feelings of others known. I am the one who, because I do this, am the brunt of alot of negative posts. So be it. Until the emails from fellow posters thanking me for posting their opinion, or telling someone "how it is" in a direct way, stop......I will continue doing what I'm doing. "I" have the guts......uncouth as it may be.


christine



~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:48pm
Just because you have had negative experiences in your life it doesn't mean you've "cornered the market" on whats right. My parents smoked too, and I suffered respiratory problems as a result. So what. I don't waste my time resenting them for it. I'm against all physical punishment but I know people who do use some kind of physical punishment and I really can't hate them because on the whole they are good people who use a different method. Only idiots don't use proper restaint devices in cars but I've had well intentioned people offer to drive me and my children home from playgroup without having enough proper restraints in their cars. I resfused but I don't hate them for offering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 9:06pm
You didn't answer my question.

I didn't ask if you were confident of formula. YOu've said you are over and over and it shows. What I asked, was are you *sure* that nothing could ever be found in formula to make it much worse than it seems to be now? I.e. these new studies that bring out new information, etc...are you SURE and positive that 20 years from now we won't be saying "formula is x times more deadly than Y..."? You seem sure that cigarette smoking would *not* be a good thing while bf and that science will prove this later. It's possible. But are you sure science will never prove formula to be worse than what you think it is?

Fio.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 10:56pm
Again, I'm way *more* confident of FORMULA than the whole bfing while smoking issue!!!!!!

And after reading just Wednesday the American Medical Association information on this topic...I'm even *more* sure of it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 11:16am
yeah but can you be sure that formula won't ever be found to be much worse than you thought? putting aside the smoking issue...can you be sure of this for formula?

i'm not asking if you're confident of formula. i'm asking if you can be sure evidence on formula won't ever change to show it as worse than what is thought now?

fio nak

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