Looking for honest responses....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Looking for honest responses....
79
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 10:58am
I have a question for FF'ers. I am asking this purely out of curiosity. I am currently in the process of getting my Lamaze Instructor certification. I am looking for honest responses.

If you are a FF'er by choice, why did you choose it?

Please, no, "I didn't want to BF"-type answers. Try to go deeper than that, if you can.

In Lamaze we do a brief instruction on feeding choices. I think this may help me in how to approach the subject. Thank you in advance to those of you willing to give an open, honest response to my question!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:38am
What if there is NO deeper reason than I simply plain ol' didn't want to breastfeed? Are those answers not going to be acceptable from new moms in your class? You may just get those answers. If I were to take any childbirth classes and be asked in a group setting that is all I could answer because I can only be truthful and honest and when there is nothing more, there simply is nothing more than I don't want to bf'd, or I don't have the desire to bf'd.

Sure, there are perks and bonuses that come with that decision but again these had NOTHING to do with THE decision to formula feed. Nothing. They were just pros that came with my initial simple decision.

I've never been to a childbirth class so I have no experience in giving my only honest and truthful answer that I can give.

And FTR, I am being open, honest to the question. But there is nothing more I can answer because there is nothing more to be said about my decision. Whether that is understandable by the bfing side or not. If you want more of an answer that the one I can give I could make up something but it would not a true, open and honest answer at all. It would be made up to apease.

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:45am
I didn't choose to ff from the start but did switch over rather quickly.

I switched because I felt that my child was not getting enough bm and was slowly starving to death. With my first ds, emotions played a HUGE role as well. I was suffering from PPD without meds. With my second ds, he was a preemie and so that played a role as well. I was on meds for my PDD, which can take weeks to have the full effect, but was also dealing with a 4lb baby at home who wasn't gaining weight. On top of which I had a 2yr old. My preemie had to go back into the hospital for bilirubin level....and that was the straw that broke the camels back. I was so stressed during that time that I believe my supply decreased if not stopped altogether. I accepted the formula in the hospital because I was getting NOTHING from my breasts...even though he was on me every hour. I just gave up....I wanted him better, gaining weight.


christine


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:59am
Why did I choose to ff by choice? Besides not having a desire to (I feel that that in itself is also a valid reason although I know alot of bf'ers can't comprehend it), I also have no desire to deal with the complications (IMO) that bf'ing can bring. Like: worrying if baby is taking in enough, is baby latching properly, mastitis, thrush, sore nipples, NO break from feeding baby (I have 2 other kids that need me), restrictions on my diet, limit to meds I can take (I really miss taking my Excedrin when I have a headache). Also, NIP.I've looked at the breastfeeding support board and see all the problems some women have and I just have to say "NO thank you".

Formula feeding is so EASY, at least for me. Plus, dh and my ds and dd can take part in taking care of baby. My dd can't wait to feed her new baby sister!

Jeanie #3 due 6/15

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 12:18pm
My 7yo Ds is very excited to feed his new baby brother (looking towards the end of June, looks like our new babies will arrive about the same time).

Formula is so easy, it is not an inconvenience or nusance at all.

Avatar for kfira71
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 12:31pm
Though I did pump for a month after DS's birth, I guess I also did *choose* formula because I began supplementing with it from day one. I switched completely to formula because of a bad case of mastitis. For me, the choice was not a difficult one because I trust formula, and feel it is (well, was) a wonderful source of nutrition for my baby.

IMO, FF was simply easier. I did not have to be the only one who was responsible for feeding the baby, which, combined with all of the other incredible responsibilities that come along with a newborn (and the exhaustion in those early months), was a lifesaver. DH and I did not wish to co-sleep, so sleeping and nursing was not going to work for us. I loved that I could pump milk (at least for a few weeks) or open a bottle of formula, and give my DH, sister, MIL, etc. a chance to feed the baby (something they all absolutely loved doing). Doing so allowed me to get more than a two hour stretch of sleep at night, without which I could not have functioned properly as a mother.

The "rule" about not giving a bottle or pacifier for at least six weeks was also a factor for me in the FF decision. There is no way I would have been able to nurse my DS every 1.5-2 hours for six weeks straight, plus be his human pacifier for whenever he had a sucking need. He had a very strong need to suck, and the pacifier was an immense help during that time. I have read and heard that the bottles and pacifiers are a no-no in the first six weeks because of nipple confusion. I'm sure not every baby has a problem, but I do know that mine never latched on (LC's told me that my nipples were too flat), so I guess it depends on the individual situation. Either way, I wouldn't forego the use of pumped bottles or pacifiers for six days, let alone six weeks.

HTH with your certification. Good luck!

~Kim

"Becoming a parent means agreeing to allow your heart to go walking around outside of your body."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 12:47pm
Do you mean "perks and bonuses" for YOU because there are not perks or bonuses for a ff fed babe! Also, how did you rationalize your decision to NOT bf just because you didn't want too. Did your husband have any say in your decision? Just curious.
Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 12:50pm
I substituted right from the beginning and switched to formula only at about 8 weeks. To me, there really isn't that much more of a benefit BF. It was way more convenient for me to FF. I also didn't like to be considered a human pacifier and be feeding every 2 hours. Especially when you have other kids at home. I liked the fact that my DH could also feed her at night,and I'm definetely not comfortable with BFIP. We also don't like to co-sleep, and this way both my DH and me got more sleep. All 3 of my kids started sleeping through the night at 3 months, and honestly, I don't think that would have happened with BF.

Ilka and "The Girls"



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Avatar for kfira71
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 1:14pm
Of course there are perks and bonuses for a FF baby. How about having a mother who is well-rested, calm, and happy instead of one who is miserable because she is forcing herself to BF out of guilt or pressure, not out of any real desire to do it? Sounds like a pretty big bonus to me.

~Kim

"Becoming a parent means agreeing to allow your heart to go walking around outside of your body."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 1:29pm
Plenty of perks & bonuses for a ff baby with a happy, content mom. Yeah, it's so hard to see how that wouldn't be a "perk"!

I didn't need to "rationalize" my decision not to bf my two other kids (and only bf 1st ds for 1 week). What's to rationalize about switching to a nutritionally complete alternative?

Oh, and as for dh....he would have had NO say in the matter since it was not his body that was hurting and on-call 24/7....However he had NO issues with our switch to formula -- and subsequent formula use for our other two.

Eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 1:31pm
I completely agree with you! And let's not forget dad in all this-why deprive him of feeding baby? I think If I had a choice I would rather sit in a comfy chair holding my baby and feeding him/her close to me and looking in their eyes instead of being told "Here honey, why not give the baby a bath?" I think dads should take part in feeding. And believe me, those first few days home dad or a SO can be a lifesaver and let mom get some much-needed sleep.

Jeanie

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