Making the Decision Before Baby Even Comes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Making the Decision Before Baby Even Comes
29
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 9:09am

Hi all....

I have a friend is literally just found out she is pregnant, less than 7 wks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003

SHOULD she make an ignorant, risky, possibly life-threatening decision for her child based on whatever uneducated criteria she's choosing to use?

Of course not!!

But who's going to stop her? It's her body, her baby, her choice.

I hope she has the integrity and strength of character to not claim having "extensively researched the subject and made an informed choice" later but no one else has any control over that, either.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

welcome

Welcome to the debate board Rebekah! It's wonderful to see you posting here and I hope that you will stick around and post more often.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010

Unfortunately, ITA 100% with lve2read.

I wouldn't even bother arguing with her about it, but maybe for a Christmas present you can give her a copy of

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010

I was the same way when I first learned I was pregnant, and when I was seven months I decided I would try BF. I'm still BF my two-year-old. Whether she wants it or not, this issue will not be put to rest until she already has her baby. It may be that some of the arguments will make sense to her, and she will find herself getting interested in BF. For me, it was reading about how to suppress my milk supply that got to me. It just seemed so wrong to be binding my breasts to make my milk go away, when my baby would just be sitting there wanting it. It was a little embarrassing to tell everyone, including my husband, that I had changed my mind, but they were all really low key about it. I'm really glad that I didn't make the decision out-of-hand, but cramming all of my research into the last two months of pregnancy was a little difficult. Luckily, I have a mother and two sisters who had BF and helped me so much! I hope your friend is able to make a decision based on more knowledge. BF definitely seems creepy to some people before they try it, but a lot of people feel differently once they do. And she should keep in mind-deciding to try BF does not mean that she will have to stick with it if she hates it. She can switch at any time. It just seems more logical to at

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
I had to chuckle about the doctor or midwife. That is another thing she chooses to argue with me about. Back when my DH and I started TTC I found a midwife and chose that if and when I had a child I would use her. She gave me around and around about that. I don't care if she uses one or not, again her choice. I don't think there is a right or wrong choice its all about what you want. But she never educated herself about it and just gave me heck about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
LOL I like that idea

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
<<>> ITA agree with you. I told her you never fail at something if you at least give it a try. I tend to think she fights with me about it b/c she knows she won't stand up to her MIL or her SIL about it. Its like she is looking for me to condone what she is doing and I don't plain and simple so I just would rather not talk to her about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

harmony08 wrote:
nathanielsmom110100 wrote:

Should a mother to be (first time especially) make this decision flat out without any information and without experiencing the situation first hand?

Yes, because any solution that would take this option away from her has too many ugly consequences.

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