Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer
515
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:04pm

I have always lurked here because I find the breast/bottle debate interesting. I had an interesting experience at a baby shower today and thought I'd bring it here.

I exclusively BF my 3 month old son. It has not been easy or natural until the past few weeks. He had jaundice, bad doctors, we've both had thrush on and off for 2 months, dairy allergies, etc. I spent a lot of time while I was pregnant educating myself about the benefits of breastfeeding, common mistakes that new mother's make, why doctors are often incorrect when it comes to BFing...

Anyways, I was the only BFing mother at the shower today. I left my son with my mom (sleeping) and the host knew that I would have to leave as soon as he woke up (he doesn't take a bottle). I was ridiculed and made fun of by the women at the shower. They thought it was cute, I didn't. Comments were made such as, you just have that baby attached to your boob, huh? He's going to be so spoiled..what a moma's boy, blah, blah. Another mother told me that she wouldn't breastfeed because then the baby only sees you as food (ummm..what about the comfort and bonding part?!)

When the pregnant woman at the shower told me that she was interested in BFing and asked if I had any advice, etc. the other women went on and on with mistruths about BFing (how they didn't have enough milk, the baby was allergic to their milk...) I tried to divert the conversation, but I was outnumbered, so I told her to call me and we could talk then.

This is not the first experience like this that I've had. I am constantly encountering people with these attitudes. If they aren't perpetuating mistruths, they are saying things like, "boy weren't you lucky to be able to BF.." I wasn't lucky, I had a very hard time. I was PROACTIVE because he is my CHILD and I want him to have the best start possible. I don't expect a pat on the back, but don't undermine my devotion to my son.

I guess this is my issue/question: Why do I hear so much about militant breastfeeders when FF moms are just as bad? Why do I become portrayed as militant when I'm simply trying to educate a new mom about the wonderful aspects of BFing? Honestly, I don't really care what people do with their own kids, but I do think that it is important to educate new moms about the benefits of BFing.

hhh


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:48am
<

I have done both so maybe I tolerate more. I have enough going on in my life that I do not need to criticize and judge every single mother I see. >>


Okay, since you are putting that out there, please be so kind as to add a few links to posts such as the ones you are describing.


If you've done this already in a later post, then I apologize. I may be a breastfeeder but I'm not perfect. ;-)

Mary


Mom to Kevin 11/04/2003


CL, Breast vs. Bottle Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:59am
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:23am

<>

Good point. I think the FF would be **shocked** at the number of FF friends and family we have -- that we're somehow able to get along with! I even *gasp!* fed my 6M old niece a bottle on Easter (and it wasn't full of EBM).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:32am
WOW! I must be really lucky to live where I do! The general public here (coastal Cali) is supportive of breastfeeding. I BF til 15 mos and many people were surprised I stopped at that age (the avg around here is 18 mos). I know a few moms who FF but they are definitely the minority. I know a lot of people think Californians are wacky, but hopefully in terms of BF more places will follow our lead. We have more of a live and let live mentality, I guess.
P>
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:01pm

<<


<>


Ha. Again more generalziations. When I told my group of friends that I was bf'ng my second, I got more than enough info. I asked for it and liked it. When I was ff'ng my first, not one drop of advice. >>


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:34pm

I'M the opposite of your nephew! I can't "understand" technical stuff that is explained to me, I like diagrams. ;-) And that is partly why I HATED being read to when I was little...I could never follow the story well. Once I coudl read to myself, it was all great! ;-)

Fio

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:41pm

<"This post sums up the reason you will never have more ff'ers on this board. It is also the reason why moms will always be fighting each other and really never win anything in the end. It is such a hateful post and really, really sad that no one else on this board thought this post was outrageous.">

Based on what you quoted from it, I would have found it outrageous, but that handy ignore button I put into use ages ago saved me from reading it in the first place. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:42pm

That's good they were so accomodating. I suspect (hard to know) that skipping might have been best for me if I had been equally "ready" in all areas (maths I wasn't so good at so I wasn't ;-)) because I always hung out with the kids about 2-3-4 years older than I; the rest seemed so baby-ish. ;-)

Fio

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:50pm

"I never said NO ONE talked about it in gernal."

You *absolutely* did say this in your post. We can only know what we read here in black and white, and you definitely said it.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:53pm

<<>>

Then, please. Let's part ways now, before you give yourself a heart attack getting so worked about something so "futile".

I, for one, have learned so much from this board. I enjoy being challenged and having my voice heard. I also love being able to express myself properly in writing. I read well, and write well too. Those two qualities are key, in my book, to having a healthy and productive online debate.



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