Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer
515
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:04pm

I have always lurked here because I find the breast/bottle debate interesting. I had an interesting experience at a baby shower today and thought I'd bring it here.

I exclusively BF my 3 month old son. It has not been easy or natural until the past few weeks. He had jaundice, bad doctors, we've both had thrush on and off for 2 months, dairy allergies, etc. I spent a lot of time while I was pregnant educating myself about the benefits of breastfeeding, common mistakes that new mother's make, why doctors are often incorrect when it comes to BFing...

Anyways, I was the only BFing mother at the shower today. I left my son with my mom (sleeping) and the host knew that I would have to leave as soon as he woke up (he doesn't take a bottle). I was ridiculed and made fun of by the women at the shower. They thought it was cute, I didn't. Comments were made such as, you just have that baby attached to your boob, huh? He's going to be so spoiled..what a moma's boy, blah, blah. Another mother told me that she wouldn't breastfeed because then the baby only sees you as food (ummm..what about the comfort and bonding part?!)

When the pregnant woman at the shower told me that she was interested in BFing and asked if I had any advice, etc. the other women went on and on with mistruths about BFing (how they didn't have enough milk, the baby was allergic to their milk...) I tried to divert the conversation, but I was outnumbered, so I told her to call me and we could talk then.

This is not the first experience like this that I've had. I am constantly encountering people with these attitudes. If they aren't perpetuating mistruths, they are saying things like, "boy weren't you lucky to be able to BF.." I wasn't lucky, I had a very hard time. I was PROACTIVE because he is my CHILD and I want him to have the best start possible. I don't expect a pat on the back, but don't undermine my devotion to my son.

I guess this is my issue/question: Why do I hear so much about militant breastfeeders when FF moms are just as bad? Why do I become portrayed as militant when I'm simply trying to educate a new mom about the wonderful aspects of BFing? Honestly, I don't really care what people do with their own kids, but I do think that it is important to educate new moms about the benefits of BFing.

hhh


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 7:44pm

"There are a few here though that seem to be of the opinion that there are no valid reasons for using formula, and though it's never been said I get the feel that they think if you can't/don't wish to bf you shouldn't have had children in the first place."


Huh?

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 7:57pm

""many will"...and she knows "many" ff'ers will prop a bottle? Where is the reasearch on that? her local mall? "


Following this thread back, I guess that SHE is ME and yes, actually.

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 7:59pm

"I have done both so maybe I tolerate more."


Maybe not.


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Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:10pm

This post was so good, I have to respond twice!



"I have done both so maybe I tolerate more. I have enough going on in my life that I do not need to criticize and judge every single mother I see.


I am also glad I never met most of these poeple when I was having trouble bf'ng my second dd. I would have run fo rthe hills and figured it out on my own."


There's a line in one of the Harry Potter books where Vernon Dursley says, "I don't mean to be rude", and Dumbledore replies, "And yet accidental rudeness has a way of happening all the time" - or something along those lines.


You talk about "sweeping generalizations" and yet you make a statement with "these people".


You talk about "so many women who praise themselves " and then you claim "that I do not need to criticize and judge "


You have done nothing BUT make sweeping generalizations and critisize and judge.

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:15pm

" <>


Ha. Again more generalziations."


Are you are misunderstanding the word, "many"?

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:18pm

"Well, in my expereicne, not one woman I knew ff'ed from the beginning b/c of the "ewwww" factor."


Now THIS would be an appropriate place

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:39pm
It would if I did not write "in my experience". That statement means it is just from my views and experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:40pm
Okay, I give. You are right. No one on here makes generalizations about ff'ers. You win. have a great night - it isn't worth it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:40pm

>>That particular bit of research came from personal observation, including the local mall and even foreign malls.

And, I am going to invite the opportunity for you to refute my research that "many" (although I'm not certain I didn't use some rather than many, but you can refute that too) formula feeders will prop a bottle.

Go ahead and show that all formula feeders lovingly hold they children and provide human contact every time they feed.>>

Some FF will prop the bottle at some point so I cannot refute that however, I can say I never did as a FF and I know many mothers who FF, and never did either. It is not something they would have wanted to do. So, although I cannot refute the statement "all FF mothers...", I can say that my own observations have not been similar to yours.

There was also a poll on my board and most mothers held their babies all of the time and some did prop once or twice. I think only 1 or 2 replies said a lot of the time.

I am glad I never even learned how. My DH did it once to take a picture at which point I scooped her up to give her the rest. I had this thing about not letting the nipple fill with air (she had gass issues for the first month and then she was great) and needing her as close as she would allow!

Spud...







Lilypie




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:43pm
Yes, she actually responded that it is her observation. So, we know it must be true. Most ff'ers will prop a bottle. It is not like we actually like to bond...eekk!

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