Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer
515
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:04pm

I have always lurked here because I find the breast/bottle debate interesting. I had an interesting experience at a baby shower today and thought I'd bring it here.

I exclusively BF my 3 month old son. It has not been easy or natural until the past few weeks. He had jaundice, bad doctors, we've both had thrush on and off for 2 months, dairy allergies, etc. I spent a lot of time while I was pregnant educating myself about the benefits of breastfeeding, common mistakes that new mother's make, why doctors are often incorrect when it comes to BFing...

Anyways, I was the only BFing mother at the shower today. I left my son with my mom (sleeping) and the host knew that I would have to leave as soon as he woke up (he doesn't take a bottle). I was ridiculed and made fun of by the women at the shower. They thought it was cute, I didn't. Comments were made such as, you just have that baby attached to your boob, huh? He's going to be so spoiled..what a moma's boy, blah, blah. Another mother told me that she wouldn't breastfeed because then the baby only sees you as food (ummm..what about the comfort and bonding part?!)

When the pregnant woman at the shower told me that she was interested in BFing and asked if I had any advice, etc. the other women went on and on with mistruths about BFing (how they didn't have enough milk, the baby was allergic to their milk...) I tried to divert the conversation, but I was outnumbered, so I told her to call me and we could talk then.

This is not the first experience like this that I've had. I am constantly encountering people with these attitudes. If they aren't perpetuating mistruths, they are saying things like, "boy weren't you lucky to be able to BF.." I wasn't lucky, I had a very hard time. I was PROACTIVE because he is my CHILD and I want him to have the best start possible. I don't expect a pat on the back, but don't undermine my devotion to my son.

I guess this is my issue/question: Why do I hear so much about militant breastfeeders when FF moms are just as bad? Why do I become portrayed as militant when I'm simply trying to educate a new mom about the wonderful aspects of BFing? Honestly, I don't really care what people do with their own kids, but I do think that it is important to educate new moms about the benefits of BFing.

hhh


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:41pm

<<>>

*bowing down before you* O great, wise Supermom! :D



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2000
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:45pm
LOL..naaaah...not wise. Just experienced :D

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I donated my freezer stash of EBM to another mom through


* Milk Share *


I donated my freezer stash of EBM to another mom through


* Milk Share *

Avatar for tanjanika
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:46pm

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...but apparently we're *thinking* it! And now, we've been exposed. CURSES!!!

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Blasphemy! You're *supposed* to say that we BFing mothers have just as much propensity to be trifling, selfish, lazy & ignorant as any other mother, and that we frequently are. You are supposed to preface every post with "Not that I, or any other BFing mother is perfect...", and round it out by acknowledging that FFing is just as much of a valid choice as BFing, and is just fine, and is a "personal choice". And throw in 'Happy Mom = Happy Baby', while you're at it.

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Even *extreme* ones that proclaim that artificial infant formula is sub-standard. Horror of Horrors.

Jani

Jani

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:49pm

<<>>

D'oh! Is that how you're supposed to do it in a debate? Jeez. I've been doing it all wrong! Where's the hari-kari sword? I'm a goner! :D



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Avatar for tanjanika
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:56pm

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Really? How so? It appears that a number of FFers have come out of lurkdom in this thread! If they choose not to stay and *debate* because they can't garner agreement would cause me to question what reason they're here.

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This is a "fight" with winners and losers? Huh... and here I thought that this was a debate.

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Or is it really sad that you read "hate" and "venom" in it? I find it outrageous that this is the only addition that you have to the subject.

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That's a good thing.

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That's an even better thing.

Jani

Jani

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."

Avatar for hokie1999
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:56pm

This one takes the cake. I stopped at a rest stop once and in the car next to me was a baby, probably only 2-3 mos. old in a carseat, car running, with a bottle propped and NO ONE in sight. I sat there for a few minutes and we didn't leave until the parent or grandparent came out. I was floored. I have also seen many babies in strollers with bottles propped. Seems fairly common in my anti BF area, though I am not saying all do it.

Becca

Avatar for tanjanika
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:04pm

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California does have an awesome rate of successful breastfeeding, and BFing is culturally more accepted on the west coast for numerous reasons. I'm really hoping that my state can turn around its dismal numbers for even initiating BFing, and overcome the cultural inhibitions that make it an 'icky' think to be doing.

Jani

Jani

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."

Avatar for tanjanika
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:09pm

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...because *they* won't agree with her, and stop saying things that she doesn't want to hear. And, more specifically in this case, with 'this particular poster', because I challenged the old "Happy Mom = Happy Baby" logic a couple of years back.

Disagreement is a bad and scary thing.

Jani

Jani

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2000
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:15pm

**WOW! I must be really lucky to live where I do! The general public here (coastal Cali) is supportive of breastfeeding. I BF til 15 mos and many people were surprised I stopped at that age (the avg around here is 18 mos). **

You *are* lucky to be where you are. My sister's in San Diego, and just about every other mom she knows bfed for at least 6 months, most for much longer. She knows of only 2 women who didn't bf at all, one couldn't get past the "ick" factor, and one who'd had a double mastectomy. Its so uncommon where she is for a woman to not bf, that it's automatically assumed that the woman really couldn't.

Where I am (East coast metropolitan area,) breastfeeding at all, especially for more than a few months is so uncommon that if you do it for longer than 6-12 months, you're looked at as some kind of a freak.

Oh well, I'm old now and really don't care *what* people think of me.

Karin

 

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Avatar for tanjanika
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:23pm

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It's frequently the case, still, that the option to pump never even comes into the picture in hospitals. And, never having done it before, assistance is required. And some foundation knowledge of pumping need to be afoot, and frequently isn't.

The post-partum nurses at the hospital that I delivered at never mentioned the option of pumping. I asked *them* for a pump, after one NICU nurse pointed out that it was something that I could do for him. They brought me a pump, but couldn't even show me how to use it. I fumbled around (it was comical, really) until I finally figured out which parts went where, and then literally sucked my A cup breasts into the breast shields like a vaccuum, because the breast shields were too big (not that I knew that at the time), LOL!

Pumping support is an area of post-partum care that still leaves a lot to be desired at too many hospitals.

Jani

Jani

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."

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