Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Militant formula feeder v. Militant BFer
515
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:04pm

I have always lurked here because I find the breast/bottle debate interesting. I had an interesting experience at a baby shower today and thought I'd bring it here.

I exclusively BF my 3 month old son. It has not been easy or natural until the past few weeks. He had jaundice, bad doctors, we've both had thrush on and off for 2 months, dairy allergies, etc. I spent a lot of time while I was pregnant educating myself about the benefits of breastfeeding, common mistakes that new mother's make, why doctors are often incorrect when it comes to BFing...

Anyways, I was the only BFing mother at the shower today. I left my son with my mom (sleeping) and the host knew that I would have to leave as soon as he woke up (he doesn't take a bottle). I was ridiculed and made fun of by the women at the shower. They thought it was cute, I didn't. Comments were made such as, you just have that baby attached to your boob, huh? He's going to be so spoiled..what a moma's boy, blah, blah. Another mother told me that she wouldn't breastfeed because then the baby only sees you as food (ummm..what about the comfort and bonding part?!)

When the pregnant woman at the shower told me that she was interested in BFing and asked if I had any advice, etc. the other women went on and on with mistruths about BFing (how they didn't have enough milk, the baby was allergic to their milk...) I tried to divert the conversation, but I was outnumbered, so I told her to call me and we could talk then.

This is not the first experience like this that I've had. I am constantly encountering people with these attitudes. If they aren't perpetuating mistruths, they are saying things like, "boy weren't you lucky to be able to BF.." I wasn't lucky, I had a very hard time. I was PROACTIVE because he is my CHILD and I want him to have the best start possible. I don't expect a pat on the back, but don't undermine my devotion to my son.

I guess this is my issue/question: Why do I hear so much about militant breastfeeders when FF moms are just as bad? Why do I become portrayed as militant when I'm simply trying to educate a new mom about the wonderful aspects of BFing? Honestly, I don't really care what people do with their own kids, but I do think that it is important to educate new moms about the benefits of BFing.

hhh


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 7:07am

Me too, me too!

LOL!


Avatar for hokie1999
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:17am

No, I sat there and watched the baby and the relatives returned in a few minutes.

Becca

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:51am

"Okay, I give. You are right. No one on here makes generalizations about ff'ers. You win. have a great night - it isn't worth it. "


Is your entire premise in this debate that bf'ers make generalizations about ff'ers?


You know what?

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:12am

"Propping" is common enough for there to be a market for products to make "propping" easier and "safer".

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:17am

"Yes, she actually responded that it is her observation. So, we know it must be true. Most ff'ers will prop a bottle. It is not like we actually like to bond...eekk!"


"many" and "most" are two different words.

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:32am

Not to go off on a baby-drinking tangent, but I'm going to. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:29am

We do have laws to protect the rights of bfing mothers. *Who* are we protecting the bfers FROM?

Debbie

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Avatar for mrsmichael6300
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:38am

>>Ever have a particularly snarky day? FWIW, and I'm not totally going back on my thoughts on the post you're responding to - I *do* think there are a few here that are unreasonable, however I think the day I posted that I was taking care of dd and my puppy alone all day, dh out of town, and it was the first time both of them were asleep at the same time all day :) I know I was in a pretty lousey mood at that point and was not above exaggerations. Sorry to offend, if I did....<<

That's completely understandable ;). BTW, how's Maggie doing? And what kind of puppy did you get?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:41am

What about having the baby hold it own bottle as soon as he/she is able. I kinda consider that 'propping'. Many (more than some, less than all) people seem to think it's cute, and frankly convenient for them!

Debbie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:54am

I wonder if those same people would think it's cute that Alex will hold onto my breast and reposition it if need be?

-jeanine

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