NEWS: Bottle mum repeatedly harassed

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
NEWS: Bottle mum repeatedly harassed
5
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 11:31pm

Bottle mum repeatedly harassed

A mother who bottle-feeds her son says she has been repeatedly harassed by other mothers in public - and is now embarrassed to go to the supermarket for his formula.

"It's ridiculous how much grief people get just for having a bottle. Two weeks ago I was at the mall in the food court and my son started to cry.

"I gave him a bottle and a lady came up to me and said it's a really bad look and it's not a good way to represent New Zealand parents.

Ms Rhodes said she had also been harassed while feeding her son in a parents' room at the Westfield shopping mall in Manukau City.

Read more: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10784081


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 9:15am
I just want to speak to the dad's rights point brought up in the article. I started out EPing then transitioned baby back to the breast so in the early days DH had a chance to bottle feed. He loved it and he says he misses it sometimes but he found many ways to adjust. He changes every diaper when he's home. He does bath time and most of the bedtime routine (apart from BFing). He is in charge of the solid meals and dressing her when he isn't working. He is a very involved father, DD adores him and he has never resented BFing. He sees how easy it is for us and is glad that my routine is better than it was with EPing.

I don't think fathers are left out If they can't help feed in the early days. There is so much more to taking care of baby that with a little creativity and an open mind, dads can easily find a way to connect with their child. I didn't and would never EP just for dad's sake. However in the early months when supply is more ample and pumping is easier, I would absolutely pump on occasion and then go out for a little mommy time :-)

I think it's so unfair to equate bottle feeding to giving the father his right to be involved with his child. Most dads I know work 40+ hours a week and don't do the lion's share of the overnight wakings. I think it is unfair to ask mom and baby to compromise their BFing relationship so dad can bottle feed after work.
Just my two cents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 3:33pm
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Or whenever he wants to. I remember when I was pg with my daughter, there were lots of women on my EC/PG who said that they bottle-fed or were planning to bottle-feed (either pumped milk or formula) so that their husbands could feed the baby too, especially at night. Fast-forward to the babies being 2-3 months old and almost every single one of them was doing every single one of the night feedings.

I never thought my son would be the one to fight the bottle. He was the one who refused the breast generally at first, and wasn't fully bf (meaning getting little or no bottles of breastmilk) until he was about six weeks old. But now giving him a bottle in a huge PITA. He doesn't want to take it, he just chews on the nipple, then flings it away from him. At this point it's a much more rewarding experience to feed him a meal.




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Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2008
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:33pm
I think the idea that breastfeeding doesn't allow fathers to bond with babies is just as insulting as somebody saying that bottlefeeding will mess with the mother bonding with the baby. You bond with your baby in many ways and feeding them is hardly the only way.
I'm shocked that somebody was bullied so badly since the brestfeeding rate was listed at only 14% at six months. Are those 14% really going out and doing so much bullying? It just seems odd. I feel like in our country we have the opposite problem where stories of women not allowed to breastfeed in a public place are frequently in the news.
bigbro
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 5:27am
furke wrote:

I'm shocked that somebody was bullied so badly since the brestfeeding rate was listed at only 14% at six months. Are those 14% really going out and doing so much bullying? It just seems odd. I feel like in our country we have the opposite problem where stories of women not allowed to breastfeed in a public place are frequently in the news.


I think that if the story is true, and she has been bullied this badly, I can only put it down to there being some people around who will step in and say things to mothers in general that are completely out of line. For some reason, parenting is something everyone seems to have a strong opinion about. And even if a few of those people go out of their way to state their opinion, it can come across as bullying.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 9:51am

Welcome back Erin - haven't seen you here in a long time! Congratulations on the coming baby!

Although the current 6 month breastfeeding rate is low, the people commenting aren't necessarily currently nursing, or are nursing an older child.

That multiplies the number - so if out of the 4 million US babies born each year, 14% are still nursing at 6 months - that's still 560,000 women each year. And over a 5 year period, that's 2.8 million women!

Which does not include the women who have nursed in the past or the busy-bodies that just like to stick their nose in other people's business.