News: Even After A Clogged Milk Duct, An Infection And Surgery, I Was Guilted About Formula

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
News: Even After A Clogged Milk Duct, An Infection And Surgery, I Was Guilted About Formula
3
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 7:22pm
Wed, Apr 4 - 9:00 am ET

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007

I'm going to cry BS on this article. For one, getting an absess drained is not a "mastectomy." There's a huge, HUGE, difference between the two. For another, these people were probably trying to support her as much as they could to do what she wanted to do. Sounds like she kept saying she was adamant about bf. Since I don't think that bf was necessarily an impossibility for this mom, I don't necessarily agree that the lactation consultants should have told her right off that you can no longer bf if you get mastitis. Honestly, if she really felt that formula was just fine, she didn't need a lactation consultant or a doctor to tell her that.

<<“I just wish the lactation consultants would have said something along the lines of, ‘breastfeeding is our preferred method but if you need it there’s plenty of formula out there. Here’s a pamphlet on how to choose what’s best for you and your baby.’ Would that have been so hard? Maybe then I wouldn’t have felt like I had wronged my child.”>>

You mean she wasn't aware formula existed? Or maybe she just wanted them to tell her that breast is best, but formula is fine. If things get tough, quit right away. Again, it sounds to me like she was expressing determination to succeed at bf, so they tried to help her do that.

Consider this example:

<

On follow-up visits at the hospital, Elaine asked “the Milk Maids” as her husband called the lactation consultants, if she should perhaps supplement with formula since she only had one breast for nursing. Among the six different lactation experts that Elaine visited with, none advised formula.

“They all told me ‘supply would meet the demand’ and that if I started supplementing my supply wouldn’t go up like it needed to. They told me stories of women with one breast removed feeding like champs, having more than ample supply. They pointed out mothers of twins did just fine. One breast per kid is all you really need.”>>

I'm sorry, but how does that constitute being "guilted about formula"? For a third time, it sounds to me like they were trying to cheer her on, telling her that she could still succeed at bf. So none advised formula. That doesn't mean they told her she was a rotten mother for using it.

I expect parents to own their decisions. I find it hard to believe this woman was so naive that she wasn't aware that formula exists, or that it's not rat poison. I think maybe the end of this commentary, she should have said that it would have been better if the lactation consultants had been able to read her mind to understand that when she said she desperately wanted to bf, she didn't mean that at all.

<colossal failure in not giving her child the very “best” choice, despite her ordeal.>>

Or maybe it's like they said in the beginning, that she was smugly confident that she would be able to bf without incident. "Breast is best" is not making her feel guilty. Her not being able to achieve her own goals is what makes her feel like a "colossal failure." What she wants LC's to do is to cease advocacy. It's not like LC's were barging into her house to tell her what to do. She sought out their advice and expertise, then was pissed off that they told her how to succeed at what she said she wanted to do. Like I said, BS. What a waste of bandwidth.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008

While I sympathise with this mother for the difficulties she experienced, I am not sure why the attack on lactation consultants. The mother clearly expressed a determination to breastfeed, and is very disappointed that she has weaned, even under circumstances where she felt she could not continue. The lactation consultants would have wanted to work with a determined mother to provide a solution that enabled her to continue breastfeeding. Naturally, they would have been assuming that this is what the mother wanted when she sought the help. Then they gave her the type of help she appeared to be seeking, and now she is bashing them for doing their job. Big huh.

Teresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Reading this article I got the impression that it was written with a hidden agenda. It seems to be intended to promote the idea BF supporters such as LC's should through out the currently accepted standards for when to suggest formula supplementations and be more like many doctors and nurse in pushes formula more readily at the first sigh of trouble. For example, the idea of mother being able to BF with just one breast is well founded and thus their is no reason to suggest formula unless you've tried nursing on one breast only and run into milk supply problems. It really sounds like she was simply looking for permission to supplement with formula without guilt even though their was no medical reason to suggest formula in her situation. The LC's should give her the best advice in case of mastitis and she is free to ignore that if she wishes but shouldn't expect the LC's to endorse that. Telling her the best advice to make BF'ing work is not "guilting her about formula".

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