Overcoming difficulties

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Overcoming difficulties
11
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 9:30pm

I saw this on a website for parents. I got to it by following the link 'How to overcome breastfeeding difficulties'.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 12:06am

My guess is that the questioner is totally fake. If the question was legitimate, then it was coming from someone who was looking to quit and looking for someone to say that's okay. And in that case, I'd say the answer is appropriate. But in that case, the title of the page should definitely not be "How to overcome breastfeeding difficulties." You are right that there is absolutely nothing in this answer that addresses actual bf problems or offers any solutions whatsoever. So maybe the page should have been titled, "Deciding to quit breastfeeding." And then I'd say that *most* of the advice is fine.

Now to address some of the crap:

Even with the help of a lactation consultant, it can feel like the baby just isn't taking to it!

The similar language here is what made me think that the original question was a foil.

The stress of wanting to breastfeed but struggling with it can be too much, especially with the tidal wave of other life changes that come with a baby. Some new moms find it helpful to pump breast milk and deliver it from a bottle.

Really, I don't know anyone who shifted to EP'ing and actually found it much easier. Well, I don't know anyone who shifted to EP'ing because bf was too stressful and actually stuck with it long-term. Most people I know who did either quit very early on or started out EP'ing in the first place.

And bottle feeding offers its own benefits — it allows fathers, grandparents, and other caregivers to get involved with feeding the baby and enjoy quality bonding time.

Because you know that they weren't going to get any bonding time otherwise, because they weren't going to bathe baby, hold baby or do diaper changes. Nope, feeding is the only way anyone can bond with baby.

The thing that really burns me about this every time is just because "fathers, grandparents, and othe caregivers" *can* get involved with feeding baby doesn't mean they *will* get involved with feeding baby. The vast, vast majority of women I know who either ff or ep so that their husbands could feed baby too still ended up doing almost all the feeding sessions themselves. Particularly at night. Too many advice guides like this treat bf like it's an all-or-nothing proposition, that if you choose to bf at the breast your baby will never take a bottle, no matter what, and will nurse like a newborn until they head off to college. They fail to address the fact that ep'ing is rarely an effective or sustainable alternative to ebf at the breast, and they behave as though a woman who wants to occasionally pump for a bottle so she can go out to dinner with her husband is a practical impossibility.

Because formula digests more slowly than breast milk, formula-fed babies usually need to eat less often than do breastfed babies.

Wait a minute. What happened to feeding being a bonding experience? Now it's a chore, a horrible burden placed on the mother that must be removed as much as possible. Enter bottle-propping devices and people who encourage you to let your older infant feed themselves so you don't have to.

Honestly, I've never understood why the fact that formula is digested more slowly (meaning baby eats less often) is touted as such a wonderful benefit of ff. By itself, that's not a good thing. For example, sawdust may be REALLY hard to digest but I'm not going to give it to my baby just so he'll go longer without eating. Seriously, people, make a more compelling argument.

Giving your baby formula is nothing to be ashamed of. You're not the only mom doing so, and you're doing everything you can to help your baby thrive.

"Doing everything" apparently means switching feeding method so that anyone can feed your baby except you, that is until you can get to the point where you don't have to hold your child at all because you're setting them to eat less frequently and be cared for by others so you are free. I always wondered how older kids get this idea that eating is a punishment parents inflict upon them, and now I know.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2005
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 5:00pm

Why do they always assume that women who ask questions want to be told that it is OK to bottlefeed?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 6:57pm

I could not agee more about acces to the right information.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 10:05pm
I also read the woman's question as vague as to what sort of answer she was looking for and as such I believe the doctor answering the question should have provided answers for if she wanted to continue BF'iing and if she wanted support to quit BF'ing. Even if she really only wanted to support for quitting, I feel the answer she got did did not present an accurate picture of BF'ing vs. FF'ing and it seemed as if the doctor was downplaying the negatives of FF'ing and playing up the negatives of of BF'ing in order to make her feel better about switching to FF'ing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 11:41am

by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 4:40pm

Was this written by a formula company?

Seriously, there is absolutely nothing in this that gives any sort of advice for overcoming breastfeeding difficulties.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 4:56pm
hollyelizabeth2007 wrote:

Giving your baby formula is nothing to be ashamed of. You're not the only mom doing so, and you're doing everything you can to help your baby thrive.

"Doing everything" apparently means switching feeding method so that anyone can feed your baby except you, that is until you can get to the point where you don't have to hold your child at all because you're setting them to eat less frequently and be cared for by others so you are free. I always wondered how older kids get this idea that eating is a punishment parents inflict upon them, and now I know.

You know, the part in red, when I read that in the article it made me think of when kids say "but everyone's doing it" to which any responsible parent would respond "if everyone jumped off a bridge...".

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 6:27am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 8:05am

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 4:44pm

So, how can we teach folks to encourage those who want to continue breastfeeding, instead of just telling them that bottles are fine?

I don't have any answers, but the question is worth repeating.

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