Posting photos of nursing babies online
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Posting photos of nursing babies online
| Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:52am |
On another board, a poster has a long siggy that includes a slideshow of nursing babies from her playgroup. Another poster took offense at it and there has been quite the debate over the appropriateness of the siggy. I posted a message inviting people here to discuss that issue, and I hope that one of the posters from that particular playgroup comes here, at least so we can see what the siggy looks like. I'm having a hard time forming coherent thoughts today, LOL! So don't worry if I don't come back to debate the issue with you, I'm trying to get out of the office so I can go home & sleep.
As "Linda Richmond" (aka Mike Myers) from SNL would say, "talk amongst yourselves."
Mary
Mom to Kevin 11/04/2003
CL, Breast vs. Bottle Debate

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"This argument in general bothers me. The attitude of 'it was done to me so let me pass it along' just doesn't fly. Where's the law that says we can't do a little better? Even if our parents were pretty good, does it hurt to try and exceed? My parents were great parents...but they weren't perfect, and in fact I do try to change and do it better in the areas that I think they could have done a better job."
I think that every generation "does a little better" than the one before. Every individual picks what to improve on. For example, I don't give a teething baby watered down red wine, or put brandy on their gums as was done to both my parents and to me. I don't put cereal in the bottle or let my child use a walker(the things are banned in Canada now anyway). I do however think that a lot of things that were done to me are worthy of being passed on, namely ff and CIO, other things not
>>That is pretty judgemental on your part of her parenting styles (normally I do not jump in here however, I felt I had to).
If you want her to understand why the tags are put up because of the pride that breastfeeding mothers have and that she should at least understand, then you should know that some of hr parenting styles are what she takes pride in. My family has done some CIO it themselves. I certainly tried modified CIO myself and found that it realloy worked for us. Kylie needed her sleep and did not always know it and even now needs to sometimes get some whinning out of her system before she sleeps (she is 2 though, and whinning is their game).
I just think that sometimes this board does judge certain parenting styles (giving moojuice, CIO, co-sleeping, circumcision), and I think we should remember (in my opinion) that some other types of parenting styles is often based on the child, and the needs of the parent and blamket statements should not be made.<<
Spud, please don't disillusion yourself for even a moment that she uses those things she advocates as last resorts ;).
Just as there are many in this thread who find the "snowboobilicious" tag to be offensive, I find blinkies such as "It's formula, not rat poison," and "We CIO (and whatever else it says) and my kid is happy and healthy" to be offensive. Why is judgemental for me to not agree with CIO/ferberizing but it's not judgemental for people to be offended by seeing a baby bf'ing?
And science is on the side of AP parenting and not putting a child in his/her own room to sleep, just as it is with bf'ing.
You're acting as though I'm calling for the removal of her blinkies; I'm not, and therein lies my point. I am just as offended at her blinkies as others are at the snowboobilicious tag, yet she has the right to display those blinkies (and practice the parenting stlye they describe).
If the intent was to change people's perception of what is normal, it has failed. No one has posted to say "You know what, I have always found the idea of BFing to be gross, I know it's not for me, but when I saw that tag, well that just changed my mind!!!"
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>>I think that every generation "does a little better" than the one before. Every individual picks what to improve on. For example, I don't give a teething baby watered down red wine, or put brandy on their gums as was done to both my parents and to me. I don't put cereal in the bottle or let my child use a walker(the things are banned in Canada now anyway). I do however think that a lot of things that were done to me are worthy of being passed on, namely ff and CIO, other things not so much. I don't feel the need to "exceed" my parents. They did a fine job, I admire them....why would I want to one up them? <<
Aaaah so you only listen to health and safety recommendations in regards to your children when they don't inconvenience you in some way? I see...
We've been through this before, but just because your parents did something/made a choice doesn't make it right, and it's in no way disrespectful to say, "You know, that wasn't the best way to accomplish that" and do it differently for your own child. When we know better, we do better; that isn't a commentary on the abilities of those who didn't know better, or a slight on their character. It's a fact of life. Is learning from your mistakes some sort of admission that you're less than intelligent? I'd hope not...
I definitely think the child's personality plays a big part. I think the problem comes with a higher need child who is left alone. Would you adjust if the baby needs you more? My ds1 slep 12 hours straight from 6 months of age, on his own. He never made a peep. Ds2 woke at night, every night and needed me to sit with him, until he was about 16 months old. At that point he slept through. Dd seems to be a mix of the two. I show up when requested!
Needs not met don't go away. They show up in other ways down the road.
Debbie
I have a rare GI disease and require up to 10 rx medications on a daily basis (some with contraindications to bfing)and all that rhetoric does is make moms that have or even choose to give their children formula feel bad.
You didn't have a
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I absolutely agree that I have never seen a mother be less than discrete in public, but it was stated earlier in this debate that some posters do not care about the consideration for others, and well they may not mean that they strip half naked, that phrasing doesn't really exclude that possibility.
I don't know if I was one of the posters your read or not but I will state unequivacally that I don't have any consideration for others who are bothered by my NIP. NIP is NOT about what you can see and what you can't, its about people being offended by the concept. If you were to stare closely, or happen to be looking at the 'right place at the right time', you MIGHT see a flash of flesh when my child latches on. Other that that, you see my arms holding him, his head, and me. I do not, never have, and never will, use a blanket or any other kind of covering over him. If that bothers someone, well, then, that's their problem, not mine. If you think this makes me rude or having no consideration for other then I'm just going to have to try and live with the weight of that judgement.
Tangent: You can still SMOKE in most restaurants in this country, sending off 2nd half smoke that is possibly harmful, but if not, at least disgustingly annoying, and yet, where's the debate around that?? How do you think that Applebees manage would have responded to me if I told him 'that smoker in the corner of that booth' is bothering and offending me??
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Noone says "lack of breastmilk increases risks" they say that formula increases risk. It's inaccurate.
Would you say excessive drinking increases the risk of liver disease or not drinking decreases the risk? Would you say smoking increases the risk of emphysema or not smoking decreases the risk?
In both of the above, I would say the action 'increases' the potential harm, because not smoking or drinking heavily are the standard against which the base health is judged.
On the other hand, one could say that using toothpaste with fluoride decreases the risk of tooth decay. In this case the fluoride toothpaste is an added ingredient used as a profalactive deterrent.
SO, the truly accurate statement (presuming you buy into the medical debate comparing BM to Formula) is that "feeding formula increases the risks of..."
Its not the way its most commonly worded, and perhaps it would be an interesting question to wonder why, but still, its the more correct wording. Someone posted that its 'just semantics', but when I think about it, I think its a lot more than that.
P.S. I'm not comparing feeding formula to excessive drinking or smoking, I was using those to illustrate the linguistic point.
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Would you say excessive drinking increases the risk of liver disease or not drinking decreases the risk? Would you say smoking increases the risk of emphysema or not smoking decreases the risk?
This was exactly my reasoning for asking her
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That's a very good example of how the breastfeeding blinkie has a positive impact. FWIW, my DD4 loves to look at pictures of babies, so we looked at the blinkie together and I told her the names of all the babies. She doesn't remember nursing, so I'm doing what I can to normalize the relationship in her eyes. She certainly knows what bottles are for!
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