"Proud Formula Feeder"?
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| Thu, 12-14-2006 - 8:27pm |
In my playgroup, I've noticed some members have a blinkie I haven't seen before: "Proud Formula Feeder". In the past, I've seen the "Formula Feeding Mom" and "It's formula, not rat poison", but this new one struck me as odd. I can understand simply stating that you formula feed or saying that formula isn't rat poison (because it isn't), but I've been trying to figure out just why someone would be "proud" to FF.
While I don't think that women should necessarily feel guilty about not BF, I don't get what about FF there is to be proud about. Most (or maybe even all) of the women with said blinkie acknowledge that breastmilk is better, so why would they be proud to feed their babies something they know is substandard, even if they couldn't BF and FF was their only choice? What do you ladies think? Is/should there be such a thing as FF pride?



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>>Well, I guess what I was getting at was that if you are not affected initially, nothing is going to pop up later. You can correct me if I am wrong, but if you don't have an allergic reaction or respiratory distress or bfing difficulties, then the baby is in the clear. Formula is building bodies and brains, there's no way a person can be unaffected (whether seen or unseen) by that.<<
No, you're right about medical consequences of epidural/pain med use: those are going to happen in the first week or so after the birth. However, there is also a higher rate of PPD and PTSD in moms who have meds and anesthetic, and that should also be considered. THey arent, of course, caused by the drugs themselves, but the complications the chemicals cause during the birth can have a lasting effect on the mother.
Again: this is why I think that getting women to bf is a higher priority -- I can mitigate some of the effects of a medicated birth.
"Epidurals carry risk of paralysis and back injury to the mother. Epidurals can cause a spinal headache, rendering the mother incapabale of caring for her newborn until the headache subsides."
These were 2 of my biggest fears, and reasons why I decided to "try" a natural birth. While I am a wimp about menstrual cramps (still am even now) I'm also a wimp about headaches... :-P
Other pain, such as breaking an arm or needle sticks don't phase me. ;-)
Fio
I know of a mom (who BFed her 3 sons, BTW) who gets VERY defensive if you so much as SUGGEST that people (her doctors etc.) might have been wrong about the fact that "she had a tiny pelvis and couldn't have natural births, so needed c-sections". I'm not a doctor, haven't seen her charts and what-not. I do know she had BIG babies and that she is a small woman. I'm not sure the difference was much more of a difference than that of my 4'10 90-lbs (when not pg) friend who had 8 lb babies (I was SURPRISED her doc didn't c-section her for CPD). But I've heard Gloria Lemay say "There are 2 types of pelvises: those big enough to birth a big baby, and 'you could drive a horse and cart through here!'" or something along those lines. I realize a LOT of CPD cases have more to do with having to birth lying flat on the back than to do with small pelvises in fact, but I also have a hard time believeing that it is IMPOSSIBLE for CPD to ever happen, personally. I certainly would not expect it often, but with everything else that "can go wrong" in someone's life, ie missing limbs, "too short arms" "too small body" (ie dwarfism) "too light pigmented skin" (ie albinoism) "too fast bleeding and not enough clotting" (ie haemophilia) etc., why couldn't CPD also occur at a very low level?
Fio
"Unless things have drastically changed in the last few years, I think your experience is different than most women. Where exactly is all this pressure coming from? Most general parenting information buys into the "breast is best but formula is good" which doesn't put a whole lot of pressure on any one IMO."
I suppose my experience *is* unique b/c I happen to know quite a few bfing mommies who *have* put pressure on me to bf. The one's that ff all seemed to assume I would too, but when informed otherwise didn't bat an eyelash. The bfing ones seemed up in arms while I was undecided. So maybe it's just my experience. I don't generally pay much attention to advice from people who are selling something, so the formula companies didn't really come into play in my situation.
"And although we agree that epidurals should not be the assumption, how do you think that will change? Do you think that moms who believe that epidurals are completely safe, effective and will completely eliminate pain in birth are going to thank you for "enlightening" them with informaiton otherwise? As others have mentioned, many of us are/were also at the childbirth debate board and I can assure you that most women aren't that grateful.
Almost everyone accepts that there is a "better" choice, but those who advocate for that choice try to normalize while those who choose the "lesser" choice tend to glorify the "better" choice as something "superwomen" do. (which I think has a lot to do with the judgement issue)"
I *don't* think mom's who believe epidurals are perfectly safe will thank you for enlightening them, any more than mom's who think formula is perfectly safe would thank you. And that's kind of my point. I don't see the pressure out there for women to try labor drug-free. I don't see the guilt-tripping going on in regards to childbirth that I see goin on in regards to bfing. I think ffers also tend to glorify bfing as the "better" choice that only "superwomen" do. I was parallelling the two because IMO they are *very* similar. And, with this thread going off in so many other directions, why not this one? ;)
"I'm wondering if there's the same degree of defensiveness in discussing childbirth vs. breastfeeding. Personally, having had both an induction and an epidural, I have no problem admitting I made the wrong choice on both counts, and I am slightly in awe of women who childbirth naturally.
Judging by the number of "how dare you judge me!" FF posts this board attracts, I don't think there's the same level of acceptance. People sincerely want to believe that formula is the standard and are very upset by any claims to the contrary."
I think you got it *almost* right. I think people sincerely want the same level of acceptance of a woman's choice to have interventions during childbirth to apply to feeding choices as well.
>>unless you seek out LLL info and suport *before* you start bfing (ie before the baby is born) how much good does a statement do after the fact?<<
Exactly. That's why I think the average hospital's how-to breastfeeding course does such a disservice to pregnant moms. They think it's kind of the same, but LLL is a lot more comprehensive.
>>I suppose I stand corrected...<<
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a know-it-all.
""I do not feel anywhere *near* the pressure to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth as I feel to bf.""
I find it so ironic how often I hear people on these boards say they feel pressure to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth or to breastfeed....in my experience (on and offline), I get the following responses:
"Yeah, we'll see how you feel about it when you're really there.
Lori
**Navy Wife to Eddie since Dec 2002**
<<
So...after 4 years on iVillage and hearing all the comments about "pressure", and "guilt", and all of that...quite frankly...I'm baffled.>>>
That's been my experience, too. (in WI and IL) People act like I'm trying to be "superwoman" or some kind of martyr by breastfeeding/unmedicated birth. The moment the topic of breastfeeding or unmed birth comes up, women immediately start talking about how they would never do *THAT*, and all the reasons it would never "work" for them. No pressure to BF here! (I even had a woman tell me that even though she BF'ed her 3 kids, if she had another one she would definitely NOT breastfeed... it's just too much hassle!)
Stephanie
mom to six sensational kids!
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