"Proud Formula Feeder"?

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Registered: 06-23-2004
"Proud Formula Feeder"?
1054
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 8:27pm

In my playgroup, I've noticed some members have a blinkie I haven't seen before: "Proud Formula Feeder". In the past, I've seen the "Formula Feeding Mom" and "It's formula, not rat poison", but this new one struck me as odd. I can understand simply stating that you formula feed or saying that formula isn't rat poison (because it isn't), but I've been trying to figure out just why someone would be "proud" to FF.

While I don't think that women should necessarily feel guilty about not BF, I don't get what about FF there is to be proud about. Most (or maybe even all) of the women with said blinkie acknowledge that breastmilk is better, so why would they be proud to feed their babies something they know is substandard, even if they couldn't BF and FF was their only choice? What do you ladies think? Is/should there be such a thing as FF pride?

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Avatar for dklauduc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:01pm

According to kellymom, most bf babies take 19-30 ounces of bm per day with 25 being the average. If you're pumping 16-18, that's a great start but there are *24* hours in a day. The 4-8 ounces of formula seems like just the right amount to get you to 25 ounces total.


 Dana, mom to Kevin (10/24/01) and Jason (10/15/04)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 9:11pm

Hey! How will we reach 1000 posts if you keep stealing posters away!

:o)

ilve2read

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:39pm

I'm new to the board. Since I post too much on other boards I don't know how involved I'll get on this board. Either that or you guys will get really sick of me. LOL


Anyways, I was looking at posts and saw yours. :) It is true that the average breastfed baby takes in an average of 25 oz in 24 hours. Breastmilk changes with baby, so its not the same from month 1 to month 6, etc. How many times is baby nursing once your home? How many hours a day is baby getting EBM?


Be assured, you are doing great pumping! :) If you want to wean baby off the formula supplements, do it slowly. Start cutting back the bottles she gets by a small amount each day. Give your day care provider tips on settling baby without feeding her. My internet connection is being shared by my dh so its very very slow so I can't find the link on kellymom right now with calming tips for baby, you might try doing a search on www.kellymom.com :)


I hated pumping. You are awesome!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 5:56am

I guess it would be nice to answer the OP.

I do not think there is FF pride. I think there is some jealousy and that is why the FFrds have the blinkies. I would not want one, and was a FF. Now had I been able to overcome my problems with BF, I would want one for that lol. There is nothing to making a bottle, but plenty to overcome with breastfeeding.

Michele

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 5:36pm

Oh yeah the OP - I'd almost forgotten about that thing ;-)

I wonder if "proud" is being used as a synonym for "unashamed". I'd have no issue with an "unashamed FF" blinky. Or maybe it's a Bart Simpson "underacheiver and proud of it" thing.

Isabel






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Registered: 12-20-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 12:32am
My children called it a paapaa and my niece a nahnee.
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Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 1:29am

So I've noticed we seem to have run out of steam (and so close to 1000 :)). So, I'll take it upon myself to stir the pot a bit ;)

On another board (the one about the controversial ads) Mary had posted a link to an interesting article:

http://www.het.brown.edu/people/kjp/stuff/watch_your_language.htm

When reading it I came to the part about the plane crash and whether or not a person would feel guilty and before I scrolled down to see the answers that were given, I answered it myself with a resounding "No way." So of course I had to wonder who on earth this Wiessinger person was asking when I saw the answers she got (I still think she's kind of a kook and this didn't help much, lol). But, I digress, I was wondering a couple things...

First: How would you ladies feel in that situation? Guilty, or just bad about what happened in general, like with any accident that wasn't your fault?

Second: It occured to me that logically I *know* it wouldn't be my fault. Given the panic response that would be very normal in that situation, one probably wouldn't think very clearly, etc, and one would be essentially blameless. However, I also think that if I survived the crash I would be in a very vulnerable state, having been through so much, and it would be easy to *make* me feel guilty with any one of the following questions/comments:

1. Well, you should have at least *tried* to land the plane. Or

2. Why weren't you paying more attention to what the pilot was doing? Or

3. Why didn't you radio for help?

Now I have seen many times the insinuation that bfers never make ffers feel guilty. The logic is that if 'the facts' make a ffer feel bad it is their own poor choice that makes them feel guilty. No one can *make* anyone else feel guilty if they don't already feel that way. Yada yada. (Personally I think this is a total cop-out. People who claim this obviously never had an Irish Catholic grandmother ;) and are unfamiliar with the power of the guilt-trip) So I guess the second item I wanted you ladies' input on is this: Is it possible to make someone, who is already in a pretty vulnerable state, feel guilty about something, that, if left alone about it, they would not otherwise feel guilty about?

Let's get to 1000

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 8:46am

Guilt is the wrong word, what about anger, betrayed,cheated or my favorite, grief?

Hey, thanks for helping the cause (>1000), I have a tendency to be a thread killer, so maybe I shouldn't respond. Hopefully something in this too long post will be thought provoking.

You are refering to this scenario?

>>Women's (nearly) automatic assumption of guilt is evident in their responses to this scenario: Suppose you have taken a class in aerodynamics. You have also seen pilots fly planes. Now, imagine that you are the passenger in a two-seat plane. The pilot has a heart attack, and it is up to you to fly the plane. You crash. Do you feel guilty?<<

Yes, I feel guilty. I would second guess myself to no end and haunt myself with thoughts of how I could have done it differently. Not saying that's rational, though.

>>Guilt is a concept that many women embrace automatically, even when they know that circumstances are truly beyond their control. (My mother has been known to apologize for the weather.) <<
I think Wiessinger is right on with this.

But when it comes to breastfeeding, I really don't want to adopt the "guilt" frame.

>>Framing (communication theory) Wikipedia
In communication theory, and sociology, framing is a process of selective control over the individual's perception of media, public, or private communication, in particular the meanings attributed to words or phrases. Framing defines how an element of rhetoric is packaged so as to allow certain interpretations and rule out others. Media frames can be created by the mass media or by specific political or social movements or organizations.>>

>>Breastfeeding and Guilt by Jack Newman
One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding". Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.

Because, indeed, it is nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument which deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of most health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and
usually which could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed.

This argument also seems to allow formula companies and health professionals to pass out formula company literature and free samples of formula to pregnant women and new mothers without pangs of guilt, though it has been well demonstrated that this literature and the free samples decrease the rate and duration of breastfeeding.>>
http://www.compleatmother.com/bf_guilt.htm

And again from Wiessinger's original article:
>>Help a mother who says she feels guilty to analyze her feelings, and you may uncover a very different emotion. Someone long ago handed these mothers the word "guilt." It is the wrong word.

Let's rephrase, using the words women themselves gave me: "We don't want to make bottlefeeding mothers feel angry. We don't want to make them feel betrayed. We don't want to make them feel cheated." Peel back the layered implications of "we don't want to make them feel guilty," and you will find a system trying to cover its own tracks. It is not trying to protect her. It is trying to protect itself. Let's level with mothers, support them when breastfeeding doesn't work, and help them move beyond this inaccurate and ineffective word.

>>Guilt, Research on Populations, and Cultural Competence
by Cynthia Good Mojab

When risk-based language is used to describe health outcomes of formula-feeding, a common response from the formula industry (and the mass media and popular culture it helps create) is that such wordings are "negative" and will only serve to induce "guilt" in women who choose to formula feed. However, the goal of this response is necessarily the protection of profit, not the protection of women. Health care professionals who have been immersed in the popular culture and/or who work with institutions, colleagues and families who have been immersed in the popular culture may also ponder this declared "negativity" and ascribed "guilt"...

The code of ethics of IBCLCs requires guarding against cultural bias. Measuring health outcomes against the cultural norm of formula feeding (using benefit-based language) rather than the biological norm of breastfeeding (using risk-based language) is a widespread example of cultural bias in research reports. It is an example of cultural bias because if we consider which came first in history, breastfeeding or artificial substitutes for breastfeeding, we can see that the manipulation in the experimental design is actually the use of formula, not the use of breastfeeding.

we are ethically obligated to share information that may be difficult for a mother (or colleague or administrator or ...) to hear...>>
http://home.comcast.net/%7Eammawell/guilt_populations_culture.html

This is an interesting article, too.
>>There. I said it. Formula is worse than breast milk. We all know that, in a way, but what we know is that breast milk is better than formula. We don't see the health risks of formula because they are not detailed in press releases of scientific studies. But the next time you see a press release detailing another virtue of breast milk, turn the words around and read it differently. You may be surprised by what you see.<<

Subtle Truths About Breastfeeding by Elizabeth Bauchner
http://www.austinmama.com/subtletruthsaboutbreastfeeding.htm




Edited 1/15/2007 9:04 am ET by nisupulla
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 9:47am

I think we tend to confuse the terms we assign emotions.

Cathie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 9:52am

"Hey, thanks for helping the cause (>1000), I have a tendency to be a thread killer, so maybe I shouldn't respond. Hopefully something in this too long post will be thought provoking."


I always thought *I* was the thread killer.

Cathie

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