Rant from In-Your-Face Formula Feeder

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Rant from In-Your-Face Formula Feeder
6
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 10:29pm

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Dear Fellow Formula Feeder,

I've heard you loud and clear. You say others call formula poison. You say that those who are gung-ho about breastfeeding are trying to make a point. Let's take a moment and hear that point, "Formula is poison." Now, take a moment and envision the kind of person who would say such a thing. 

Those people, the judgmental ones who think formula is poison, think that moms who give their babies formula are trying to kill them. They think moms should go to jail for feeding kids formula. They tell mothers who adopt but use formula that they are selfish; that they are abusive for choosing bottle over breast. They tell a mom who had a double mastectomy that she a child abuser, an attempted murderer.

Knowing that breastfeeding is far superior to bottlefeeding, I fed my daughter formula because those non-formula feeders were not there to help me.  No lactation consultant, no La Leche League, no mother to help me get the proper latch. I resent them for that. 

When I turned to the Internet for help, I found a lot of angry, like-minded women, who were similarly resentful. They agreed with me. Those non-formula feeders make us feel unnecessarily guilty for not breastfeeding.

So tell me, are you a mom like me, who believes other people think formula is poison? Or are you one of "those people" who are gung-ho about breastfeeding?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/155513/an_open_letter_to_moms?result=comment_added&comment_state=facebook&success=1#comment_3121659

Okay, okay, I took some liberties "translating" the letter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 05-17-2013 - 9:33am

I breastfed my three babes and agree with that blog very much.  It wasn't a rant.  It was plain writing and carefully worded.  Calling blogs favoring formula feeding a rant says much more about the speaker than the writer.  Similarly, breastfeeders who call formula "poison" are saying much more about themselves, and nothing about formula. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 05-17-2013 - 12:23pm

<<It wasn't a rant.  It was plain writing and carefully worded. >>

Sure, it your opinion. It my opinion it was a rant.

<<Calling...[it]....a rant says much more about the speaker than the writer. >>

Ah. I see. You agree with the blogger that there are reasonable people, like yourself, who believe breastfeeders call formula poison and "those" people" like me, who are "gung ho" about breastfeeding and whose opinions are not so reasonable.

<<breastfeeders who call formula "poison" are saying much more about themselves,>>

IMO, people who say that breastfeeders call formula poison say a lot about themselves. That's kinda my point.

<<I breastfed my three babes>>

So? Does that mean your opinion is more valid than a mom who did not breastfeed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 05-20-2013 - 1:26pm

nisupulla wrote:
<p>&lt;&lt;It wasn't a rant.  It was plain writing and carefully worded. &gt;&gt;</p><p>Sure, it your opinion. It my opinion it was a rant.</p><p>&lt;&lt;Calling...[it]....a rant says much more about the speaker than the writer. &gt;&gt;</p><p>Ah. I see. You agree with the blogger that there are reasonable people, like yourself, who believe breastfeeders call formula poison and "those" people" like me, who are "gung ho" about breastfeeding and whose opinions are not so reasonable.</p><p>&lt;&lt;breastfeeders who call formula "poison" are saying much more about themselves,&gt;&gt; </p><p>IMO, people who say that breastfeeders call formula poison say a lot about themselves. That's kinda my point.</p><p>&lt;&lt;I breastfed my three babes&gt;&gt;</p><p>So? Does that mean your opinion is more valid than a mom who did not breastfeed?</p>

I don't think it was a rant OR a carefully-worded, logical piece.  It sounds to me like this woman needs some kind of counseling.  If she's still carrying around breastfeeding failure guilt after eight years, she really needs some help to get over it.   I don't really buy that her guilt is caused by the extremists who call formula "poison"  (I have been a breastfeeding advocate for over twenty years and hung around dozens if not hundreds of very pro-lactation folks and never, outside of half a dozen times on the 'net, have I heard formula referred to as "poison").  A rational person would dismiss the "poison" label as irrational and move on. Instead, she's become fixated. I hope this woman finds peace.  She sounds deeply conflicted, and that is a shame.  But as the old saying goes, "no one can make you feel guilty without your permission."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 05-24-2013 - 10:12pm

>>I have been a breastfeeding advocate for over twenty years and hung around dozens if not hundreds of very pro-lactation folks and never, outside of half a dozen times on the 'net, have I heard formula referred to as "poison""<<

The author seems to conflate "Lactivists" with "Those who call formula poison". I agree with you. I've hung with Lactivists for a good number of years and they just do NOTrefer to formula as poison or in any way disparage moms who use formula. I cannot speak to all Lactivists, just the hundreds that I've come in contact with. ;)

I concede that there were a few random people who did call formula poison in the comments sections, however, I do not think that it is reasonable to call those commenters, Lactivists. As a rule I do not like to be divisive, calling some people "real" Lactivists and other pro-breastfeeding people not really Lactivists. However, I think in the comments sections of that article the people who did, in fact, call formula poison, were advocating something other than breastfeeding, thereby  not qualifying as "Lactivists".

Nearly all those who called formula poison were advocating against GMOs. Some were also opposed to the sugars and/or  extraneous contaminants such as pesticides. One claimed that goat's milk is a good alternative to breastmilk. No one can be proplerly called a "Lactivist" if they think that "goat's milk" is a better BM substitute than commercial formula.

Sadly, the fact is, more commenters said that breastmilk is poison than formula is poison.

Lactivists do not preach against GMOs specifically. They are by definition pro-breastfeeding, not anti-GMO.Nor do they condemn formula for its inadequacies.They acknowledge that formula does not measure up to breastmilk and/or breastfeeding, but recognize its life saving purpose when breastmilk is not available.

0.02

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 05-24-2013 - 10:13pm

>>I have been a breastfeeding advocate for over twenty years and hung around dozens if not hundreds of very pro-lactation folks and never, outside of half a dozen times on the 'net, have I heard formula referred to as "poison""<<

The author seems to conflate "Lactivists" with "Those who call formula poison". I agree with you. I've hung with Lactivists for a good number of years and they just do NOTrefer to formula as poison or in any way disparage moms who use formula. I cannot speak to all Lactivists, just the hundreds that I've come in contact with. ;)

I concede that there were a few random people who did call formula poison in the comments sections, however, I do not think that it is reasonable to call those commenters, Lactivists. As a rule I do not like to be divisive, calling some people "real" Lactivists and other pro-breastfeeding people not really Lactivists. However, I think in the comments sections of that article the people who did, in fact, call formula poison, were advocating something other than breastfeeding, thereby  not qualifying as "Lactivists".

Nearly all those who called formula poison were advocating against GMOs. Some were also opposed to the sugars and/or  extraneous contaminants such as pesticides. One claimed that goat's milk is a good alternative to breastmilk. No one can be proplerly called a "Lactivist" if they think that "goat's milk" is a better BM substitute than commercial formula.

Sadly, the fact is, more commenters said that breastmilk is poison than formula is poison.

Lactivists do not preach against GMOs specifically. They are by definition pro-breastfeeding, not anti-GMO.Nor do they condemn formula for its inadequacies.They acknowledge that formula does not measure up to breastmilk and/or breastfeeding, but recognize its life saving purpose when breastmilk is not available.

0.02

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 06-06-2013 - 11:39am

"I don't think it was a rant OR a carefully-worded, logical piece.  It sounds to me like this woman needs some kind of counseling.  If she's still carrying around breastfeeding failure guilt after eight years, she really needs some help to get over it.   I don't really buy that her guilt is caused by the extremists who call formula "poison"  (I have been a breastfeeding advocate for over twenty years and hung around dozens if not hundreds of very pro-lactation folks and never, outside of half a dozen times on the 'net, have I heard formula referred to as "poison").  A rational person would dismiss the "poison" label as irrational and move on. Instead, she's become fixated. I hope this woman finds peace.  She sounds deeply conflicted, and that is a shame.  But as the old saying goes, "no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.""

I agree with everything you said.

I also wonder if there was ONE person who set her off, or if, like many people, she heard what she wanted from a few people and years later she looks back and remembers it a bit differently than how it really went down? Further to your comment, a rational person wouldn't make such a stupid and hurtful comment anyway, especially not one who considers herself a breastfeeding advocate.

I do know one person IRL who refers to formula as "crap in a can." She's very outspoken and says things like this (about many subjects) on her FB wall all the time. It amazes me how she can say the kinds of things she does without caring who she may be hurting. She and her DH had been trying to have a baby for YEARS. They adopted 4 kids before getting pregnant. I wonder if she ever heard anyone talk about how easy it was to get pregnant, or how "unnatural" it is to adopt, or whatever. The kids she adopted were older than infants so she never had to feed them formula, but still, I'd SMH at some of her comments, even if I agreed with the underlying point. There is no need to be mean about your opinions. Those who do say it's "poison" or "crap in a can" should not be taken seriously, and it sucks that so many people do!

Kevali


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