Shanna Moakler: "Breastfeeding is incestual."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Shanna Moakler: "Breastfeeding is incestual."
8
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 12:01pm

I don't know why, but TMZ decided to ask Shanna Moakler (ex-wife of Blink 182 drummer, Travis Barker) about breastfeeding, but they did.  And she answered.  

"It's incestual and gross."

Here's the link to the video, and I caution you that it is painful to watch:  http://www.tmz.com/2013/05/08/shanna-moakler-breastfeeding-tmz-tv/

She's certainly entitled to her opinion, but I don't think I have ever heard someone say that breastfeeding was incestual before.  

Comparing breastfeeding to incest, isn't that too much?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

Welcome NightAngel!

Interesting that she was able to nurse her daughter, but was uncomfortable about her sons.

Despite having breastfed my two youngest for years - I can undersand (and have experienced) the uncomfortable feelings that can come up. If there has been trama in the mother's past, it may accentuate those feelings.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001

Actually I have...:(...it was my now ex-mil...

Mostly she had no problem nursing her daughter but not her sons...I nursed both my dd and ds.

I cannot say she was very Supportive, more to the contrary.

Like you said I feel the choice is personal to the individual but she also likened it to incest.

It is not...

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006

"Comparing br"eastfeeding to incest, isn't that too much?"

Um, yeah. And someone owes me a keyboard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008

I have heard it called incestuous before too, generally mostly by other women, not all of whom were moms (or even moms-to-be). In some cases, the woman/mom seemed to genuinely believe that while in other cases they seemed to recognize that logically their feelings made no sense and thus admiited they had a hang-up about BF'ing.

In the cases where the women genuinly seemed to believe that it was incestuous or sexual child abuse, they had no good answer if any for why it was that women lactated and why babies were able to survive on BM. In some cases they simply refused to address that contradiction. They had no good response when presented with the fact that prior to the invention of modern formula in late 19th century, just about everyone BF'd. Under their logic moms and wet-nurses at the time would have all been child sexual abusers which makes no rational sense. In some instances, they tried to justify their view by pointing out ust because men and women have the biological parts to have sex with each other does not always mean it's morally right such as in cases of incest and child sexual abuse. But that logic is ridiculous IMO. The genitals of a woman (as a whole), for example, have a four different uses, urination, menstruation, sex, and birthing a baby. Most people recognize that while sex by it's very nature is sexual, that urinating, menstruation, and birthing are not inherently sexual acts.

In other cases, the women in question might recognize that she has a hang-up and that BF'ing isn't really sexual, incestuous, immoral, etc., just that her hang-up makes her feel that way when she thinks about the idea of BF'ing a baby. In some case they even tried to BF and felt that way so they immediately gave up trying to do BF. Some moms feel this way as a result of past sexual abuse while others blame it on the family and/or community they grow up in. They say they want to get help to get over their hang-up or are in the process of trying to get over it. In some cases they admit that they didn't seek help in the past and thus ended up FF'ing but hope to change that before their next baby. in the cases of sex abuse victims, sometimes they say they tried to overcome their hang-up and couldn't. Unfortunately, you also get some moms with this hang-up who  don't recognize the health benefits of BF'ing to be significant enough to be worth the effort to get over their hang-up. 

I have also seen some moms who admit they could get over their BF'ing hang-up who are EP'ing, tor at least tried EP'ing or want to try it. They recognize that indeed BF'ing is significantly better then formula and even if their hang-up prevents direct BF'ing they can at least give EBM to their baby via a bottle. But sometimes even that is out of the question for some moms, even if they recognize BM to be significantly healthier then formula becuase they have a hang-up over feeding a human bodily fluid their baby too.

To me, part of the problems is that some people people support BF'ing but don't want to call moms who feel BF'ing is gross, sexual, incestuous, etc. out as having a hang-up. They seem to think we should treat their views as just as valid. While I agree that women holding such views should not be forced or harassed to BF against their will, that does not mean we can't call their feelings irrational and part of a hang-up while still recognizing their right to FF/bottle-feed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
I've been following this story and apparently she later tried to clarify that while she supports other moms breastfeeding and breastfeeding in general, when she tried to BF her first child it felt gross, incestuous, and immoral to her. What she seemed to be trying to say in her clarification was that she wasn't trying to suggest that breastfeeding was an incestuous act in and of itself, just that it was how it felt to her when she tried to do it. What I think she should have done was be much clearer that she recognizes that BF'ing is not actually incestuous or immoral and that her feelings are irrational and the product of a psychological hang-up. As much as I would like her and other moms he have similar hang-ups to seek help to overcome them so they can breastfeed future children (or to try exclusively pumping if they can't overcome their hang-up), I would at least like them to publicly recognize they have a hang-up. I don't want them reinforcing the view some women unfortunately hold that having a baby suckling off their breast really is sexual in nature and thus incestuous and immoral.

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Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

beautifuldaylight wrote:
<p>That's WAY too much, in my opinion.  I cannot believe someone in the public eye would make such a statement.  Surely she was joking???</p>

Welcome to the board! I hope you will stick around and join in the debate more often!

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010

I have heard it called incestual in the past - if I find the time, I will look up some references and comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2013

That's WAY too much, in my opinion.  I cannot believe someone in the public eye would make such a statement.  Surely she was joking???