Starting a new thread re:smoking and BF

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Starting a new thread re:smoking and BF
14
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:08pm
First of all, as I stated in another post, I apologize for the CL hat. It won't go away. Must be a glitch of the new boards format.

Okay, so I started a new thread because my eyes are going nutty with all the ones in the other post. I hope nobody minds.

Regarding smoking and BF.....

After thinking more on the issue and taking into account all the discussion, I must say that I am torn. I have a very good friend who smokes and BF. She goes outside, puts on layers of clothing, smokes, removes the layers, washes her hands intensely...and then goes back to her baby. She is absolutely the most over-protective mother I know. She did not smoke during her pregnancy, but she said she knew there was a "light at the end of the tunnel"...she is immensely addicted to smoking. She didn't tell me for a very long time that she smoked because she was afraid I was going to judge her and look down upon her. After having her baby and deciding to BF, the lactation consultant told her it was MUCH BETTER to smoke and BF than to FF. This is someone whom she trusts and respects and who is very knowledgable about BF'ing. So my friend took up smoking again.

I have never been addicted to anything so it is easy for me to say, "Well, just quit!". But after talking to my friend, I know that it just isn't that easy. She WANTS to quit...she says to me everyday how she wants to quit...and I truly believe her, but she is ADDICTED and it is not easy. She has described to me how awful it feels to NEED something the way she does. I asked her what it feels like to crave a cigarette and then what it feels like afterwards...she said to me that afterwards she just feels "normal again". Before she has that cigarette she feels like she is ready to jump out of her skin and go crazy.

Now as far as BF and smoking....my friend was told by a medical professional she trusts that BF and smoking was better than FF and smoking. If Mom is going to smoke regardless, which is better? It's tough to say. I think both sides hold risks. I can see both sides of the issue.

As for my friend, I just try to support her and tell her that she is going to struggle with cravings the rest of her life (she probably will), but that I am here for her and I want her to succeed. I try to be as supportive as possible. She knows it's an ugly habit, she knows it's horrible for her health, she knows that she might develop cancer because of it, and she may be ill or die prematurely because of it and she has to deal with that everyday. She WANTS to quit and she is trying. I will do anything I can to support her in her goal to quit. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd happily take them.

Thanks.

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Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:24pm
But the thing is LIsa....I have no sympathy. IMO, if she REALLY wanted to quit, she would find a way. I believe that. I have read TONS of info regarding smoking and its effects on everyone. I have read TONS of *help* out there too, from meds, to support groups. There is too much out there for anyone to use the excuse "it's too hard."


Now, "mommy moonstar" accepts the risks. You read her post. She enjoys smoking and accepts the risks!! DUH!! Yuck....


I see that you are on the fence about this. I am not;) Lisa......there are literally THOUSANDS of chemicals in smoke.....it's loaded with crap. Crap, I wouldn't dare willingly expose my child to no matter the quantity.


Yes, those "militant" bf'ers like LLL are for breastfeeding no matter WHAT the risk. And yet, even THEY claim there is a risk......but one they are willing to make with YOUR child. THEY are taking that risk by encouraging breastfeeding while smoking. Not everything is worth the risk to breastfeed. Give me a break. I think it's pretty pathetic that such an organization would profoundly encourage such a practice.

With all the info out there...you decide.


christine


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 7:24pm
I see your point, however....

I guess the important thing would be to find out how much nicotine and other crap gets into the breastmilk. Because there are so many wonderful things in breastmilk that can't be replicated in formula and I would hate for a child to miss out on all the good stuff if the risk of a small amt. of the awful got through...do you see what I am saying?

For instance- an example would be....conventional fruits and vegetables. There are a lot of people out there that don't believe in buying organic or they don't have it readily available to them. So should they not eat any fruits and veggies? Of course not- because even though conventional fruits and vegetables are grown in and sprayed with TOXIC< CARCINOGENIC CHEMICALS, all the good stuff in the produce would still make it better than say, just taking extra multivitamins.

That's what makes this a very "grey" issue...it's not "black and white".

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 7:29pm
What about what she brings back to her baby after every single cigarette?? Smoke linger on clothes and hair for HOURS!! Not to mention elsewhere......as she says she only smokes outside. Does she smoke in the car?? That's just as bad as in the house.

I don't like smoking at all. Can you tell?? And to expose a helpless child to it is downright selfish and disgusting......bordering on abuse. Yep, I said it....*abuse*.


FTR, my mother has smoked since she was 13. She has no intention of stopping and in her words, "enjoys it." BLECH!! She smoked in our house....along with my grandmother my entire childhood!! She smoked while pregnant......till that is she knew she was pg(which was in her 5th month). To think what she exposed me too all those years....and continues to expose me to every time I see her regardless of the FACT that smoking causes cancer. I hate that my children are exposed to it. Yes, she smokes outside but leaves the door open. HELLO??!! My children love their "Nonnie".....if only she would quit.



christine


~christine~

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 7:33pm
Oh.....BTW....to get rid of your cl hat. Open another window. Log in as cl in one...and log in as non-cl in another. It's the only way I can do it:)


christine


~christine~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:15pm
Christine,

I see where you are coming from. I really am very much anti-smoking. I am. I see your point. I wish I could help my friend quit, but she has to be the one to do it.

I will fiddle around with the cl- hat thing, but when I open the new window, I sign in with just "lisabc311" but when I go to post, it still shows up with the cl-hat. ???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:54pm
It's great that you are there to offer your friend support. Has she tried hypnosis? I don't know if it works or not, but if she has exhausted all other possibilites, it may be worth a try. Also, since the weather is starting to get nice, what if every time she gets a craving for a ciggie, she instead straps baby in the stroller & they take a walk around the block? I subscribe to Prevention magazine & here is a link to their site with a stop smoking article. It's looks pretty good, maybe you can forward it to her: http://prevention.com/cda/feature2002/0,4780,4879,00.html

I can only make this statement in regards to myself, so it may or not may not be true for your friend, but you have to really WANT to quit, to quit. Knowing it's bad for you & others around you may make you feel guilty, but guilt may not be enough. I have found that when someone really wants to do something, no matter what that something is, they find a way to do it. So I guess what I'm saying is, if your friend truly wanted to quit smoking, she would. I'm not saying she can do it cold turkey, but she would make a plan & stick with it. I think alot of smokers feel guilty because they know a lot of other people look down on them for smoking, so they compensate by saying they are trying to quit-it makes them look good & people will cut them slack because at least they are "trying to quit" or, as another poster said, a lot will lie about the amount that they do smoke. I have made attempts to quit in the past because I knew it wasn't good for me & each time I failed because deep down I really didn't WANT to quit.

Lots of luck to your friend & her effort to "do the right thing"-She will feel so much better in the long run when she finally kicks the habit.

Janet & nursling Sierra

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 11:39pm
It's great that you are supportive of your friend and her trying to quit. It's tough to do especially when the addiction is more psychological than physical, and having kids only compounds the problem. Has she looked into Zyban (although I don't even know if that's still in use...)? I have been told that it helps more with the psychological addiction than the physical one, and it did work for me at one time. Otherwise, how about finding something else to occupy her mind when she gets too stressed out would help also? If she can earmark a crossword puzzle book (something equally addictive LOL) to *only* be done when she gets a craving and to help her relax some. She can put *herself* on a time-out for a while. This doesn't work for me, but it has for others I know.

She sounds *exactly* like me. I wish I could be of more help, but obviously I am not the best one to be handing out advice (seeing as how some on this board don't even respect me as a person) so I digress...

Brook

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 7:00am
I think it makes more sense that FF babies could avoid being exposed to nicotine where a BF baby could'nt. If a mother chooses to BF and smoke the baby will get nicotene exposure through the BM. A mother who FF could chose to smoke outside away from her baby which I hope anyone would do and her baby will not get nicotene exposure in the formula. I think that it makes sense that a BF baby exposed to second hand smoke if you will through the milk is probably at less risk than a ff baby whose mother smokes around the baby. I do think it is more possible to FF and avoid second hand smoke exposure though. I would NEVER smoke and bf. Imo, smoking ruins the quality of BM and the baby is better off with formula unless the mother just can't seem to leave the room to smoke....arghhhh! Lisa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 4:25am
This makes me so angry. My mother started smoking when she was 14 or 15, and has no hope of quitting. She has tried every product on the market, with the exception of Zyban (can't use it because it interacts with another medication she takes). Every time she has tried to quit she has started smoking again when the suicidal urges became too much for her to bear.

Suicidal urges.

Do you really think that it would be better for her to stay "quitting" thus being "better" for her health and her children's health, if that would result in her killing herself?

Sorry, but I'd prefer a living smoker for a mother than a dead non-smoker. Those are the only options I have.

~Sarah

Avatar for cl_sunny_side_up
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:37am
I don't mean to make light of this nor insult you in any way....but I am going to say this.


Have you ever watched a person dying from emphazyma(sp)?? Have you?? Try YEARS of suffering. It is the most horrible thing to watch. The multiple meds, the trach., the STILL smoking in some...through their trach cause they need their *fix*!! YUCK!! Have you ever watched someone die of lung cancer?? Or another form of cancer directly related to their smoking for years?? That too can be a long time suffering and equally as terrible to watch.

I'd much rather take a gun to my head or a hand full of pills than suffer years of pain. It's ugly.......but that's just me. And you ask me a question so I answered.


There is help out there. She doesn't have to be alone. I am sure she isn't the first to experience such feelings and won't be the last.


christine


Edited 3/29/2003 8:37:50 AM ET by cl-sunny.side.up


Edited 3/29/2003 9:26:34 AM ET by cl-sunny.side.up


~christine~

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