A thank you--a bit OT but not much ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
A thank you--a bit OT but not much ;-)
2
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 10:31pm
(feel free to comment and/or hijack ;-))

I would like to thank all the ladies here for continually questioning, and making me (and surely others) question their thoughts on this matter (and perhaps other matters). It is a real eye-opener and I do think that in some ways I understand a bit better why some moms do what they do...whether I agree with them or not. :-)

I have been forced to think about a couple of different subjects pertaining to the bf/ff stuff and the analogies made, and question myself about why I thought such a way.

The first is the analogy of the carseat versus formula-feeding. I thought it over and over and mulled it in my head and I finally figured out why *I feel* that bfing is just as important, if not more important, as strapping a baby into a carseat. The number one reason, is that MOST of us (I hope!) try and do our best on the road to drive responsably (at least those of us who strap our babies in probably do, LOL) and most collisions, while preventable, are unforseeable. They are also often the fault of someone else, who is drunk, young, elderly (whatever) who is NOT continually looking out for the safety of our own children. I am not of course saying I could never get in a collision that is my fault. I am just saying that I try my best to drive safely and so far, I've had one accident, I was rear-ended by someone else who wasn't paying attention and was driving in a full length right leg cast (! WTF?!). Anecdotal, of course, but I just think that even if we do EVERYTHING in our power to drive safely, ultimately, there can still be a collision that happens b/c we are not the only ones in control on the road anyhow.

Where does this pertain to FF'ing? Just that the decision to bf or ff is one area where we DO have control. We have the control to make the decision that has the best chance of...reducing whatever risk (or augmenting one, depending ;-)). Like one has the choice to decide to speed or not, or the choice to put one's child into a carseat or not ("laws" aside, since unfortunately, not everyone follows laws...it's still a matter of personal choice to run the risk of getting caught). Of course we still don't have any control over the actual outcome, but we have control over one variable that could well in itself have some input in the outcome.

So...since I have a fair number of allergies in my family, DH's side of the family has a bit of heart troubles, a case of breast cancer and some diabetes and both sides aren't exactly in the skinniest population of the world in general, I made the decision to do what I could possibly do to try and help avoid these problems in my children. I also make sure my kids are buckled up securely, but whether or not I make the choice to drive safely or not, someone else is out on the road at all times and it's not something I am the only person influencing.

Secondly...I looked at the why of my decision to breastfeed (or to not formula-feed) and after a few posts on how people were *sure* of their reason why they made their choice (;-)) I thought I'd think about my decision. And I realized something. Yes, I breastfeed because I don't want to formula-feed. That is the ultimate outcome...but it is a mixture (FOR ME) of various other reasons that all together make me not want to formula-feed.

The thought squicks me out, I want to give what is best ("normal") to my child, I want to have whatever impact I can on their and my lives, I want the easiest route through childhood (IMO), I couldn't honestly imagine doing it any other way...BUT all together, all of these reasons are valid and yet they are only part of the whole, which make up the reason that I just don't want to ff. Not that it wouldn't stand if I only had one of these reasons, but it's just taht I have all of them and they're all there and I guess to say that (for me) I don't want to ff is as if I'm not admitting to the whole picture. So yeah, for me, there are lots of reasons...but they all really boil down to one.

Anyhow...it's nice to be questioned and have to re-think one's position. Refreshing I guess, I could say.

:-)

Fio.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 6:22pm
I can relate to all of your post. I have also changed quite a bit from participating on bf vs ff debate boards.

And for me it was also the same reason - I didn't want to ff! When bf'ing seemed so tough in the early days and I thought about quitting, what stopped me was that I didn't want to ff! I had many reasons also for not wanting to ff, but basically I didn't want to! Until you posted this, I didn't realize that it was more about that than it was about wanting to bf.

Anyhow, great post!

Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 10:20pm
You hit the nail exactly on the head WRT the comment about it being more about not wanting to FF than about wanting to BF. That is exactly it. :-)

Fio.