We know better

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
We know better
64
Sat, 03-09-2013 - 10:04am

Yet another mother who tried desperately to breastfeed, had troubles and eventually quit.  Twice ~ with her first child and again with her second child.  Is anyone in a position to say yet again this is another mom who didn't try hard enough, and we know better?

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/the-purple-fig/women-struggling-to-breastfeed_b_2820088.html ("Breastfeeding Sucks")

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 1:31pm

I also find it ironic that the OP seems aghast at the idea of "we know better" than the woman in the article, yet she seems to know better how my child was faring because I was determined to breastfeed him exclusively. hmmmmmmm...

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 2:15pm

Nisupulla wrote (in different posts): "As I have said there are no big meanies in Sweden forcing mothers to do anything and I think yours [thardy's] is the first post that adds threats of "social services" interference to the tripe."

I haven't seen yet any problems expressedd about the Swedish policy except for the imaginary justification to the a third party part. If that were not the case, I wouldn't have to bring up the fact that the formula industry WANTS people to believe that the imaginary justification to third parties.

Nisupulla, are you reading Misstrygg's posts?   She says

"I live in a country where we arent allowed to leave hospital until we  have one sucessful nursing or  found out why we cant."

"The third party isnt a big meanie with a judge wigg walking around being evil.  It is a doctor, someone who is there to help you"

"it all about the baby when it is born, if it can feed or not and it is not going home until  it has proven it can.  If you deciced to go, sure, the baby stay and social welfare will get call but you can go."

She acknowledged the existence of a "third party" (a doctor who is not evil and wants to help) who does not "allow" women to go home until the women either successfully nurses or it is "found out why" the woman "can't."  I have a problem with that.

She is the one who brought up "social welfare." 

We are not imagining those things.

You seem to be imagining that the debate between me and Misstrygg is something along the lines of this:

Misstrygg:  In Sweden, hospitals are required to provide breastfeeding moms with all of the support they need.  Of course, if a mom did want to feed formula, she would be free to do so without having to justify that decision to anyone.

Me:  THAT'S AWFUL!  SWEDEN IS FULL OF BIG MEANNIE LACTIVISTS GIVING DIRTY LOOKS TO FORMULA FEEDERS AND LOCKING UP THEIR FORMULA!!!!!! 

That's not it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 2:20pm

Nisupulla, You seem to be imagining that the debate between me and Misstrygg is something along the lines of this:

Misstrygg:  The policy in Sweden is that breastfeeding helpers are required to make sure that breastfeeding mothers get  the breastfeeding support they want/need before they leave the hospital. They also get breastfeeding support at home and access to additional affordable lactation care.

Me:  OMG THAT'S AWFUL!  SWEDEN IS FULL OF BIG MEANNIE LACTIVISTS GIVING DIRTY LOOKS TO FORMULA FEEDERS AND LOCKING UP THEIR FORMULA!!!!!! 

I get that it's easy to argue in favor of Misstrygg's position if this is the debate. But it's not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 5:18pm

You missunderstood me.

A mum can sign her self out of the hospital any time she chooses to, she can if she wants too, but the baby cant until its welfare is cared for. SO if you abandon your baby at  the hospital, surely even in the USA the  socialwelfare will give you a call.

It not a police of pushing it at people, it a  support system of doing what our  bodies what ment to do. And NO Socialwelfare will not come knocking at your door if you bottle feed, most people here see bottle feeding as a last resort.  

Life isnt easy, breastfeeding isnt easy but it is something we do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 5:22pm

Nispulla, I wonder if  the other ones would understand we dont have lacatavist here like you do.  We dont need to fight for something normal.

I give up.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 5:43pm

We need Lactivists here just as you say "to fignt for what is normal". Here there are so many people who think that using and selling formula is a god-given right that should not be tampered with even in the name of health.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 7:59pm

misstrygg wrote:
<p>You missunderstood me.</p><p>A mum can sign her self out of the hospital any time she chooses to, she can if she wants too, but the baby cant until its welfare is cared for. SO if you abandon your baby at  the hospital, surely even in the USA the  socialwelfare will give you a call.</p><p>It not a police of pushing it at people, it a  support system of doing what our  bodies what ment to do. And NO Socialwelfare will not come knocking at your door if you bottle feed, most people here see bottle feeding as a last resort.  </p><p>Life isnt easy, breastfeeding isnt easy but it is something we do.</p>

Misstrygg, thanks for trying to clarify.  Maybe there something of a language barrier.

Question:  Suppose there is a mom in Sweden and she does not want to even try to breastfeed, but instead want to use formula from the start.   (I understand that few women in Sweden would be in this position, but there must be some.  Maybe an immigrant from America.)  What happens when she is in the hospital?  

Also: I think it's confusing that you are bringing babies not being allowed to leave until they're well cared for in this discussion, or moms abandoning their babies at the hospital.  I don't know what that has to do with the situation.  None of the moms we've been discussing have any intention of voluntarily leaving their babies at the hospital or not caring well for their babies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 8:33am

kevali2010 wrote:
<p>I also find it ironic that the OP seems aghast at the idea of "we know better" than the woman in the article, yet she seems to know better how my child was faring because I was determined to breastfeed him exclusively. hmmmmmmm...</p>

The article discussed the opposite ~ making sure the baby was fed.  Breastmilk or formula.  Your post said <<My firstborn had an improper latch and it took weeks to correct it. I didn't give up or give in, even though there were plenty of people who told me that it was OK to give him formula. It was OK to give up, formula wasn't poison, it would be fine, I should stop being a martyr...Hey! I could write my own article about how guilty those people made ME feel!>>

You said there were people telling you to give the baby formula.  Some of my friends had gone thru "improper latch".  I heard the terrible sound of a hungry, exhausted baby inhaling more air than breastmilk.  A sound I hope never to hear again. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 10:03am

Thardy2001 wrote: "You said there were people telling you to give the baby formula.  Some of my friends had gone thru "improper latch".  I heard the terrible sound of a hungry, exhausted baby inhaling more air than breastmilk.  A sound I hope never to hear again."

Thardy2001, it's worth noting that situations are different, and the fact that people are telling someone to give the baby formula does not, on its own, establish that the baby was terribly hungry and needed formula.  Many people, including doctors, have very little education about normal eating patterns for newborns, and will recommend formula even when it is not actually necessary. (And I am not someone who's anti-formula, at all--my first baby clearly needed it, and my second clearly did not, but my doctors recommended it for both of them.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 10:05am

Oops, double post.

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